There are six signs before the age of 10, indicating that you have taught your child well.

Family education platform sponsored by Qian Zhiliang, teacher of Beijing normal University.

Push an original article every day from Monday to Friday, dedicated to providing parents with professional and practical parenting knowledge and ideas.

Grades are often used as the only criterion for judging whether a child is excellent or not, as evidenced by the words "high achiever", "Niuwa", "tiger father" and "tiger mother" that are popular on the Internet.

However, achievement is only an appearance, and the vast majority of parents understand this, but they too want their children to focus on their studies, neglecting their children's interpersonal relations, guidance in dealing with others, and the cultivation of other abilities.

Therefore, when we talk about whether children are well educated, we should consider more comprehensive factors such as emotional management, independence, upbringing, and so on.

Children don't hide their emotions from you.

Many parents hate their children losing their temper, but in fact, it is not entirely a bad thing for their children to get angry, lose their temper and vent their grievances in front of you. On the contrary, it proves that your child trusts you very much and has sense of security around you.

Everyone who can control emotions needs to personally experience the whole process of frustration, venting, and dealing with emotions in childhood, coupled with the reasonable guidance of parents and active communication, their ability to control emotions will become higher and higher.

If the child is repressed from an early age, dare not lose his temper in front of his parents, look at the adult face, afraid of you unhappy, afraid of your anger, seemingly sensible, in fact, the most distressing.

A netizen once said: what is sensible is that you have to learn to observe what you say and hide what you really think.

When you see a toy you like, you are afraid to say it; when you have something you want to eat, you silently give it to others; you want to refuse a friend's request, but you can't say it.

This kind of repression causes children to get used to wronging themselves when they grow up.

Being sensible is a good thing, but it is somewhat cruel for children to learn it prematurely.

When he cries and laughs in front of his parents, he doesn't have to pretend, which proves that his parents are the ones who will catch all his emotions.

You have a good relationship.

Many parents have the feeling that children are unwilling to talk to their parents.

This sense of distance, the older the child, the deeper the feeling.

There was a survey: when you have something on your mind, who do you want to talk to most? as a result, less than 30% of the children said they would say it to their parents.

The reason why many children's ailments have evolved into the most intractable problem in the whole family is that there is something wrong with the parent-child relationship.

Because the parents have lost the trust of the child, and then in all the moments when he needs help, he won't tell you that you can't help him.

Recently, a mother was worried that her child had been bullied at school and did not tell her parents.

When she was washing the child's clothes, she found blood on the child's collar. When she called the child over, she saw a scar on his chin.

When he was asked what was going on, the child whispered, "I accidentally knocked it on myself."

Apart from that, I don't want to say any more.

His mother usually likes to do big things and often criticizes and hits him. He is afraid that his mother will be angry and will lead to worse results, so he simply conceals it.

It is very worthwhile for parents to reflect on their children's idea.

If a child trusts his parents, he immediately thinks that he is not hiding it from you, but asking you for help.

In his eyes, his parents are the safest place.

Parent-child relationship is the first social relationship established by a child, which is almost accompanied by the child's whole life, which not only affects the child's character, but also affects the child to establish other social relations in the future.

If the parent-child relationship is good, education will be much easier.

Children know how to care about others.

Psychologist Winnicott once said:

"if you want your baby to eventually grow into a healthy, independent and gregarious adult, you must give him a good start. This good start lies in your natural relationship with your baby, and the key is love."

On a bus in a city, a mother dozed off because she was tired, and the son next to her propped up his mother's head with his arms.

The same position lasted for more than 20 minutes.

Many people call this behavior sensible, but I prefer to call it love.

In "meet Tuesday", there is a sentence like this:

The most important thing in life is to learn how to love others and increase our ability to give love. We will gain the value of life in caring for others.

Doesn't a child who knows how to love be more proud of his parents than good grades?

The cultivation of the ability to love needs the guidance of parents.

Some parents, when they see their child helping with things, either think that he can't do it well, or that he does it too slowly, and parents almost subconsciously deprive their children of the opportunity to love.

In fact, when a child cares about others, we should cherish and encourage him to know that adults also need his love.

Children have been learning to take care of themselves.

Writer Katie Kirby once mentioned his parenting goals in his book:

"in my mind, the ultimate goal of parenting is that my child can grow up and then prepare breakfast for myself, while I can lie in bed and snore willfully."

Far-sighted parents understand that one of their greatest responsibilities is to give their children the ability to control life before they leave them.

After the age of 2, children should do what they can, starting with the simplest little things, doing housework and exercising their hands-on skills, which will do no harm to the children.

Children have learned their skills in life, and when they grow up, they have nothing to worry about.

A kindergarten life teacher once complained that it was a very painful time for freshmen to enter kindergarten, not only to cope with the crying of their children, but also to face the problems that many children could not go to the toilet, eat or wear clothes.

Children generally perform very poorly when it comes to taking care of themselves.

What is worrying is that after entering primary school, many children still perform badly in terms of independent life.

If they want to make their children independent, parents should let go in time and give them more opportunities to practice. If they have the ability to live, they will not be afraid that their children will not take good care of themselves in the future.

Children behave according to rules.

In the process of growing up, every child needs to adapt to some restrictions and avoid excessive wayward behavior.

Like a philosopher.