The Woman Who Saved My Life

Growing up, the word “mom” did not mean to me what it meant to everyone else. Moms are supposed to be loving, supportive, your best friend .. My experience was the complete opposite. I grew up in the New York State foster care system most of my life due to my biological mothers neglect and substance abuse. I can recall where I would be left in the house for days eating nothing but raw hamburger meat and pancake waiting for my mom to come home. It wasn’t all bad, I knew my mom loved me but she chose her addiction over her daughter, and the rejection hurt me to the core. How was I supposed to love in this world when my first line of protection had let me down constantly?

Needless to say, when I was old enough to see things for what they were. I resented my mother. All that became more clear when I was informed my senior year that she had been diagnosed with Lou Gherics disease. I was so mad at the world, mad at God and mad at her because she was FINALLY getting her life together and now she only had a few months to live. When my mother passed, I leaned on my grandmother for support. 2 years, later she would succumb the same fate my mother did and suddenly passed due to a stroke. Who was I to run to? What was I to do? I was a motherless child, struggling to make it through the world by myself with the idea in my mind that I was unlovable and unwantable. I carried that burden everywhere and decided to act out. Drinking, smoking, doing the things I knew my mother and grandmother wouldn’t like because I just wanted to feel something .. anything.

Then came HER. She was the new vice principal of my college. What interested me so much about this mysterious woman is that she came in with a BANG. The first black Vice President of my school with so many Alcolade‘s. She had just moved from Kuwait, and was starting her life a new in the states with her new husband. The moment she walked through the door, I was in awe. Who was this 5’1 fireball? Her name was Dr. Carol Ross - Scott. I had to get to know her! However our first encounter was not the best.

Our first encounter sadly was when I was on the verge of being kicked out of school. I had been caught red handed in my room smoking weed and the school had made their decision to kick me out indefinitely. I had gone to her office, and of course lied and said it wasn’t me. Her eyes pierced my soul .. she knew I was lying. I couldn’t believe this woman could see right through me. I knew I was a goner. 3 weeks later, the decision had finally come in. I wad found not guilty in my school trial, I couldnt believe it. The first thing I did was run to Dr. Ross’s office to tell her the news. It wasn’t until years later I found out she put her new title on the line to defend and protect me, a girl she didn’t even know. No one had ever put their life on the line for me that way. Because of her act of kindness I wanted her to be my mentor. She said it would take a lot of work and for once I was motivated to make that change. Our relationship grew over the two years of my college experience. Casual conversations began to become long talks in her office, invitations for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, and a place that became familiar to me. After I graduated from college with a 3.8 GPA (I could not have done it without her), the calls didn’t stop. She was there even more and I was so confused. Why did this woman want me around? Why did she care about me so much? All was revealed on November 23 2019 when she asked me to be her daughter. Here I was a 21 year old, not knowing that I still needed a mom. I thought that being independent was what I wanted but I didnt know she was what I needed. The only answer I could say was YES.

Dr. Carol Ross - Scott is more than just a woman, she’s my savior. A born native from Compton California, my mama is the definition of a BOSS. Being a black woman, Carrying a PHD and creating the destiny she envisioned her life to be despite the obstacles she faced .. She was and is everything I aspired to be as a woman. I never knew how much I needed her guidance, her patience, her tough love. The lessons she has taught me in these 4 years have reversed all the negative life lessons I have learned over my entire life Dr. Carol Ross-Scott has been nothing short of a miracle. Whenever I needed her, when I felt like I was going to quit and abandon everything, she was there in my corner rooting for me. She accepted me despite my shortcomings and saw me for who I really was, something no one has ever done before. I am so grateful to have met her. When I was hungry she fed me, when I had no money in my pocket she made sure that I was good and more importantly whenever I felt alone she made sure that she loved me and with her by my side I would never be by myself again. She taught me that not only am I CAPABLE of greatness, but I am deserving of love. Now when I say the word “mom”, I say it with ease because I know what it means, it means unconditional love. My mom is a BOSS, but most of all, she is my everything. Blood couldn’t have made us thicker and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Thank you mom.