The Wake Up Call

I'm a single father of two girls. I really don't know a lot of things about how to dress or groom a girl. I make sure they are showered every day, hair is always combed, and the occasional pony tail is about the extent of my knowledge. That being said, one of the things I dreaded most this school year is picture day. I was lucky when I was still with my ex, because she had a knack for making our girls look great on picture day. So this year it was all on me and I didn't have a clue what to do.

I spent a week trying to think of things I could do to make my girls look good for their school pictures. I woke up early the morning of and stressed about it all while make their lunch. Who can I, a single man, a bald man at that, who hasn't really styled hair, make them look as amazing as they always have. Whatever tricks I had up my sleeve needed to come out now.

First up was my youngest, three years old. I had a plan in place and was getting ready to make it happen. Spray and comb, spray and comb. I put her her hair up in a pony tail and stepped back to take a look at her. She hates ponytails and fights me on them almost every day. She didn't look happy at all. I didn't do my best work, so I pulled the hair tie out and combed her hair again. I stepped back again. Her sad face was smiling at me and she looked beautiful. She didn't want the ponytail and the smile that lit up the room seemed to be enough. I let her keep it down.

Next up was my oldest daughter, seven years old and a veteran of picture days. Hair shorter than normal, and I was lost on what I could possibly do. I combed her hair and and she asked if I could put her hair up, and put a bow in it. I did, and she looked amazing. As they stepped out of the bathroom, I had them come into the living room to get a pre-picture day photo.

They both posed, and looked as happy as two little girls could. Completely beautiful. I realized that I didn't need to be an expert on hair to make them look a certain way for their pictures. My girls, these beautiful angels that I have been blessed with, are happy and will always have that picture day smile. I don't have to stress things like this because of how happy they are. There are going to be times when I'm going to need help, more important things that picture day. I have people I can reach out to. I'm no just a father anymore, but I don't have to be the expert that comes with being a mother. I'm figuring things out and as we go along in this world, I can be as much as I can be. I can use my resources, I can ask questions. There are no wrong answers and when you think you've landed on one, use it as a learning experience. I'll never be perfect with some of the girly things, but that's okay. I'm on the only one in their lives, and I need make sure that people that I know that do know these things are a being utilized.

I am not defined as a parent for these abilities, or lack there of. I know every day they look like the happiest two girls in the world. What more can I ask for? Part of my growth as a single father is gonna be not living up to the world’s expectations. I’ll never be perfect to everyone. Some days people will look at me and think the sun rises and sets with my ability to juggle. Other days, I am the worst possible person to take care of them. I know the latter will be significantly smaller. The end result will always be who the turn out to be, and that they love me. I could screw up every picture day until they are old enough to do it themselves, and all that will really be there are memories of dad’s learning curve and how much better every year got. The pictures are just memories. I can’t change them if I tried.

Dads out there, don’t be hard on yourself. You’re learning and growing like me. Every day is a win and every day is a loss. Breaking even isn’t breaking their spirits. Breaking even is what two parents do every day too. The life you give them where they are safe, clothed and with a roof over their heads is a good life. I guess the moral of this story is try, fail, win, tie; but don’t give up on yourself, and know that love is always there.