The Trouble With...(Pt. 3)

Justin was expecting a new sibling. Because he was 3 ½, my husband, Jamie, and I spent a great deal of time explaining to him what was going to happen and how difficult it might be for him at first. It is difficult for new parents to understand the concept of the mother spending more time with the new baby than with the husband. It is harder, I think, for children to understand why this happens. But Justin was very logical. The more I explained how infants required so much more attention because they are helpless, the more he wanted to help. And we wanted him to be involved with everything so he wouldn’t feel left out. I let him choose the music we played for the baby during pregnancy. This usually consisted of Queen, Bon Jovi, Pat Benatar, MTV, and nothing soothing. It was the mid 1980s, after after all!

He sat next to me and read stories everyday to my ever enlarging belly. Yes, he read them. I thought it was a great way for his new sibling to recognize his voice. Mostly we were well versed in Dr. Seuss and all kinds of Little Golden Books. He felt kicks and listened for sounds and heartbeats. We didn't know if we were getting a boy or a girl. That was a time when it was not something you found out ahead of the birth. Then…Stephanie,his sister, came home.

I don’t believe there is a love that surpasses a parent’s love of their child. But, I don’t think anyone was more in love with her than Justin was. He had to be near her, always. He was completely enamored of her. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, caress her, read to her, sing to her (ugh!) and talk to her. He would get up in the middle of the night to help feed her. He loved to make her laugh and would come running to announce that he had done just that very thing.

Naps, on the other hand, were a bit traumatic. It was a battle of wills. Stephanie always did need more sleep than the average person. I think this is a Pisces attribute. I think it’s because they have such tremendous dreams. If you have a Pisces in your mix, maybe you can ask them. She needs about 10-12 hours of sleep a day. Still. I am digressing. We will cover more on this later.

A typical day would happen like this. I would finally get Stephanie to lie down for a nap. This usually would require quite a bit of coaxing. And singing. A lot of crying and screaming. She would be screaming, I would be crying. The better part of an hour later, she would nod off. Ah, finally. Peace and quiet at last.

Justin, "Spud," as he would later be nicknamed, and I would settle into some routine where I would be doing chores around the house and he would be watching TV, reading, or helping me. Within 30 minutes, I would hear her starting to cry. Checking the time, I know that this cannot be right. My girl is a sleeper. There must be a problem. On my way to see what was wrong, I would see her ‘big bother’ running out of the room!

Yes, I said big bother.

“What were you doing in there?” I would yell.

“She wanted to wake up and play.” He would reply sheepishly.

Right. She would not be happy. I would not be happy. More screaming and crying would ensue. Me screaming, both kids crying.