The Trappers pt. 3

JOEL: "Hey Honey! Did you make that appointment with Doctor Chen yet?" Oh shoot. Not yet. "I called the office yesterday and no one picked up. I'll call again tomorrow." "Joel, this is the fourth time you've forgotten to call. How about I just make the appointment for you?" "I'm a grown man, M. I think I can handle making a doctor's appointment for myself. Also, I didn't forget!" "You always say that. I can see right through you, you liar!" "DON'T CALL ME A LIAR!" M hates it when I yell. Her eyes tell me she's concerned. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." She wasn't wrong. Such a cliche. Why are women always right? "Doesn't matter. I'll call tomorrow." "I just want to make sure everything's OK. You've been a bit more forgetful recently so it's important we check that you're all good. You probably are, but it never hurts to make sure!" She gives me a wink and a smile that makes me melt like ice cream in Phoenix. "I know, M. I'll remember to get it done." I have a feeling I'm going to forget again so I write it down. Probably should have thought of that the last couple times.

March 23, 2017: "Hey Joel! Long time no see! How are you?" As much as I hate going into the doctor's office, Dr. Chen was always a delight to see. "I've been doing well. It's good to see you. How are the kids?" "So ready to be done with school. Ashley and I are really looking forward to shipping Angelo off to college in August. Angelo's got the worst case of senioritis and Katniss thinks she's too cool for the entire world so that's been a lot of fun to have in our house." I always wanted kids, but M always said that she was jealous for my love and affection. She knew that having kids would mean that it would no longer just be the 2 of us and she didn't want to fight for my attention. She always said it in a cutesy, joking sort of way, but I knew she really meant it. "It's good to hear that you guys are keeping busy." "Busy is the correct way of putting it!" It was always so easy to talk to Dr. Chen. Relatable, kind, and all around a stand-up guy. "OK, so what brings you in today, Joel?" "I've been forgetting things a lot more recently." "What kinds of things?" "Well for starters, I forgot 4 times to make an appointment with you, whenever I'm grocery shopping, I always forget a couple items, I'm easily angered and I snap at M really quickly over nothing, and sometimes I forget the passcode on my phone. I've changed it many times, but I have a hard time remembering what I've changed it to. Sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes I remember later on what the passcode is, but that doesn't always happen." He looks at the computer screen and types my symptoms down, if they're even that. He scrolls, checks something, clicks on a couple things, then turns to face me. "Who takes care of the finances in your household?" "M does. She's excellent at organization and she's so timely, so she handles all that." "Have you been experiencing any headaches? Migraines?" "No I rarely get headaches." "OK gotcha." He keeps typing. "Any recent injuries or concussions?" "Nope." "OK gotcha." The chewing of his gum weirdly makes me anxious like he's trying to act nonchalant, but something tells me he knows something's wrong. Or not. I'm not the best at reading people. "OK Joel." He puts on some hand sanitizer. I love the smell. "Go ahead and breathe in -" His stethoscope is so cold. I breathe in... "And breathe out... " Exhale. Wow, my breath smells terrible. Maybe he's chewing the gum in front of me to tell me my breath smells. "OK good. Go ahead and do that one more time for me." Inhale... Exhale... "Good, everything sounds good. OK, go ahead and lie down for me. I'm going to provide some pressure on your abdomen. Let me know if anything feels uncomfortable. "Any pain?" "No, I feel fine." "Good. Go ahead and sit up." He goes back to his swivel stool and types some more. I hate this part. You can only hear the 2 people breathing and the sound of the doctor's typing. It's worse than silence in my opinion. "OK Joel. Before we move onto anything else, I want to do some more tests just to make sure everything's OK." "OK, what kinds of tests?" "I'm going to go ahead and schedule an MRI and CT scan just to get some images of your brain. You're a little bit young to be having memory issues, but once we have some images, we'll be able to see if everything's healthy and normal. That sound good?" "Yeah, I suppose so. Are you concerned about anything I mentioned?" "Not yet. Sometimes these things happen with age and for some people memory issues can progress faster than others. That's why I want to check and see if everything's fine. There is a little bit of concern, but let's not worry about that right now." OK, well now I'm worried. It's like when you tell someone "Stop thinking about elephants." What are they thinking about? Elephants. "What days and times work for you?" "Do you have any openings today? I know that seems soon, but I have all of today off. Also, which scan will I be doing first?" "Let me see..." More waiting. Agony. "There is a slot in 1 hour for an MRI if that works!" "Works perfectly." "Alright, let's get that in there. J O E L T R A P P E R." "Did you also want to do the CT scan today?" "Yeah, just get it all out of the way." "Let's see... OK, unfortunately there aren't any opening's today, but I have an opening at 8am next Friday, the 31st." "OK, let's do the CT scan next Friday." "Perfect. OK! I have you all scheduled! Anymore questions for me before you leave?" "I'm not sure... I don't think so. We'll have more answers after the scans, right?" "Absolutely. If any questions do come up before I see you again, call the office. Sound good?" "Yeah, thank you, Dr. Chen. I appreciate your help today." "Of course! Say hi to Maggie for me, OK?" And just like that, he was gone.

The drive home was weird. I kept thinking through the possibilities of what this could be. Suddenly I had all these questions that I should have asked him in person. Damn it. Why do I always do that? Like trying to come up with a bold comeback when someone makes a snarky comment. Also, Dr. Chen says OK a lot. Are things OK? Are they not OK? He wouldn't schedule me for brain scans if my symptoms weren't serious, right? Was this because of age or do I have something like dementia or Alzheimer's disease? He never mentioned dementia or Alzheimer's though. He probably didn't want to freak me out, but now I'm all freaked out! Is there a way to reverse dementia or Alzheimer's? What causes dementia or Alzheimer's? Aren't those only for old people? I'm only 55. Can you show signs this early on? And then it hit me. What's going to happen to me and Maggie if I get some kind of diagnosis? I'm not ready for that. She's not ready for that. I'm getting worried over nothing... I hope.

Don't worry, M. We're going to be OK.