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The Things You Should Not Accept In A Relationship

There are 21 things in a relationship you should never tolerate.

By NizolePublished about a year ago 8 min read

We all have a strong internal desire to interact with other people. Going one step further, Penn State University researchers assert that love is a crucial element of wellbeing. Open and honest communication is necessary for love to function. On the other hand, there are certain things in a relationship that you should never put up with.

We all have varying amounts of tolerance, of course. This implies that although some of us may find it difficult to forgive, others often do. No matter what you're ready to accept, we all deserve to be respected and cherished for who we are: human beings.

There are a few typical, unforgivable things in a relationship that you should watch out for because of this.

21 instances of bad conduct in relationships

No of your culture or upbringing, there are some things you should never do in a relationship. Of course, there are little distinctions, but at our core, we are all human beings with the same wants and problems we face every day. Therefore, if you want to be happy, make sure you are aware of this list of things you should never put up with in a relationship.

1. Abuse of the body

Because it is uncommon for couples to begin physically abusing one another right away, it might develop gradually. From a first push or slap, things often escalate until they reach an intolerable level of conduct in a relationship.

Even though it's one of the main things you should never accept in a relationship, sadly, many individuals continue to date such partners. Why do people continue? The causes are many and complicated, ranging from fear to poor self-esteem and a lack of a strong social network.

Additionally, following a brief incident of violence, the abusive spouse often puts on the charm and ingenious justifications. They may be so skilled at it that you start to question your abilities, particularly if you are alone.

Don't be afraid to contact your local domestic violence hotlines if this describes you.

2. Abuse of the mind and emotions

Physical violence is just one of the things that you should never do in a relationship. Subtle forms of mental and emotional abuse include belittling you and placing less value on you overall. In any case, it lowers your self-esteem, causing you to doubt your decisions and become excessively emotional.

3. Stonewalling

Ignoring your emotions and cutting you off may be demeaning behavior in a relationship. When someone stonewalls you, they refuse to respond to you and may even end the discussion in the middle of it.

There are a lot of unfortunate probable explanations, as noted by psychotherapist Marni Feuerman, but if a person won't engage in an honest dialogue and change their conduct, you'll reach a dead end.

4. Ignoring limits and requirements

Great relationships are based on a strong foundation of mutual respect, understanding of one another's differences, and trust. Because of this, you should never put up with someone willfully disobeying your demands and limits in a relationship.

As rules for how you want to be treated and how your needs may be addressed, boundaries are set. Your mental health is affected by this, and if it is neglected, it can eventually fester into anger and even the possibility of burnout. These are things you should never put up with in a relationship, as we all intuitively know.

5. Do not apologize

We've all encountered individuals who believe that they are the center of the universe. In fact, it's always someone else's fault when anything goes wrong. This is at the top of the list of things you should never put up with in a relationship since it will steadily undermine whatever self-esteem you may have.

6. Control and manipulation

Does your spouse dictate your attire, contacts, and activities? Do you ever feel as if you are engaging in activities, possibly hobbies, that you would rather not be doing?

Even if it's not always simple to recognize manipulation, you will instinctively know when it's happening and that you should never put up with it in a relationship. Sometimes individuals use guilt-tripping or withdrawal to influence or control others. After you've given them what they want, they'reward' you with their ostensibly loving presence.

7. Constant jealousy

Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who is more overbearing than their mother. On the list of undesirable traits you should never put up with in a relationship is jealousy.

Of all, we all have periods of insecurity since we are human. Regardless, you need to ask yourself questions if, for instance, your spouse can't be honest with you and calls you 10 times when you're out with your pals.

8. Making illogical comparisons

We all experience self-doubt sometimes during the day. The worst case scenario is if your boyfriend later criticizes you for those identical behaviors by making comparisons to other women. After all, your spouse is expected to appreciate you for who you are, flaws and all.

If they act in the opposite way, possibly they are using you for another purpose.

9. Insulting remarks

Being uncared for in a relationship is something you should never put up with. After all, what purpose does the connection serve if such is the case? Basically, a caring and loving spouse would never make unpleasant remarks about you, your family, your aspirations, your career, or anything else.

10. Blame

Do not put up with rudeness. It truly is that easy, particularly when someone criticizes and evaluates you for your appearance or personal qualities. Nobody is flawless, especially not someone who puts you down. Respect is ultimately about accepting who you are without trying to change who you are.

Gaslighting, No. 11

In a relationship, manipulation of any kind, including gaslighting, is not acceptable. In this instance of gaslighting, partners deny wrongdoing and exaggerate events to the point where you begin to doubt reality. You must speak with a therapist if you want particular examples.

12. Break your trust

Cheating is usually included on lists of behaviors you should never allow in a relationship. Life isn't always black and dry, and sometimes we contribute to the issue. The overarching term "trust" is crucial because of this.

Also, betraying your confidence goes beyond simple infidelity. It can include disparaging you behind your back or breaking promises without sufficient cause. It's really possible to strike a delicate balance between forgiveness and trust, but you must both be aware of your own red lines. If you don't, you'll develop undesirable behaviors that you should never have in a relationship.

Being valued in a relationship is the foundation of trust. For a somewhat different perspective on trust and other improper conduct in a partnership, watch this overview video:

13. Constantly offering justifications for them

Is your spouse a frequent absentee at your business events? Maybe they're never there while you're struggling?

You know something is wrong if you find yourself giving your buddies a lot of justifications for their absence or any other conduct. Being unsupportive of you is ultimately something you should never allow in a relationship. If not, you may as well be alone yourself.

14. Clinginess and neediness

Simply said, clinging in any way may cause suffocation. It also demonstrates insecurity and a lack of self-worth. Living with this may be psychologically taxing and draining. Naturally, nothing prevents you from assisting them with their treatment.

However, be aware that you must establish very clear limits and that it is not your responsibility to repair others. These will assist you in staying away from issues that you should never put up with in a relationship.

15. Lying

Honesty and trust are the cornerstones of long-lasting partnerships. If lying starts to become the norm, your situation will become worse. It all comes back to the maxim, "Do not put up with disrespect." Where does lying finish if it has a beginning?

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Before you realize it, neither of you will understand the meaning of reality or who you are. These are obviously things you should never put up with in a relationship.

16. Derogatory remarks

You should reevaluate your decision when your spouse understands precisely how to phrase something to make it unpleasant and personal. Everyone is worthy of compassion and kindness. On the other side, it is improper conduct in a relationship to use what you know about someone to genuinely hurt them.

17. Rejecting your pals

strong, dependable connections esteem the fact that you are a partnership as well as an individual. That entails getting some alone time and seeing your buddies both together and apart.

On the other hand, a partner could attempt to isolate you out of necessity or control. In any case, these are two examples of disrespectful actions in a relationship. Your pals will be long gone when you wake up one day, along with whatever mental and emotional equilibrium you once had in your life.

18. Leaving your family behind

No one has a perfect family, but you don't want your spouse to disparage them. If they never visit your family, that is never a good indicator. At first, this could seem somewhat innocuous, but as time goes on, you'll realize that your partner doesn't share your beliefs or who you are. Like it or not, family defines us, after all.

19. Financial management or absence of

One of the simplest methods of social control is money, which has both positive and negative effects. On the one side, you can have a spouse that is extremely controlling and has exclusive access to your accounts.

You may also have a companion that spends all of your money. It is the worst part when they haven't even touched their money. Then, one morning, you discover that you have already paid for everything.

20. Refuse to bargain or reach a compromise

Being human entails having flaws. That applies to all relationships as well. In actuality, the relationships that succeed are the ones where the partners are willing to develop and learn as a unit despite their flaws.

In an ideal relationship, partners encourage each other to be their best selves. You can't do that with someone who won't listen or compromise.

21. Substance abuse without treatment programs

Relationships often overcome addiction problems, whether they include substances, food, employment, or any other object of desire. However, for the relationship to work, the partner must be forthright and honest about their recovery.

In any case, helping someone through such difficulties requires a great leap of faith, and there is a delicate line between what you should and shouldn't put up with in a relationship. You are the only one who can decide if it is worthwhile.

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