The Struggle with Infertility

by Andrea Steele 5 days ago in grief

The heartbreak

The Struggle with Infertility
Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash

I never thought in a million years I would be writing this. No women imaginable wants to grow up and here that they are unable to conceive due to some fertility problems. Let’s paint a little picture..............

When I was 14 years old I was diagnosed with PCOS( Poly Cycstic Ovarian Syndrome) . My body had some how reproduce these black little beads on my ovaries causing me have irregular menstrual cycles an extreme amount of craps. When I was told this I didn’t think about if I was going to be able to have kids or not , nor did I have any questions. Then I was told all women deal with this symptom or syndrome as most OBGYN would say. It wasn’t until I found myself being envolved one relationships that I found out I was unable to conceive. I wasn’t aware of the depth this journey was getting ready to take me on.

Fast forward to present time. Picture it a guy and girl meet but not in a conveniently type of way like a mall or shopping plaza . No, we meet over the internet through a dating site (Can’t recall the name been so long) they fell in love. But, still the thought of not being able to have children still hasn’t crossed my mind. Didn’t to much think about it to be honest. Until , the guy asked the girl to marry him. Yes, marry !!!!!!! She said yes of course and in the midst of all the love in the hair she still didn’t have a thought in her mind I can wait to have kids with this man. They got married in 2013 and that’s when trying to have kids began.

They kept trying for over the past 4 years and still nothing has happened. So they decided to look into a fertility doctor . In doing so this doctor shed a lot of light on the situation of why this couple wasn’t able to conceive the way they wanted (naturally) . They wife had what is Hydrosalphinx, Endometriosis and fibroids on her uterus. She(meaning I) was devastated. Shocked , confused and hurt. Something or the one thing that I felt like I was suppose to do I was unable to !!!I cried and was heart broken , on how to explain much less tell my now husband how were weren’t going to be able to conceive kids naturally. Watch everyone around them having children broke my heart in silence , being happy yet also being sad at the same time wasn’t something easy to manage. It a huge pull to swallow if you had nothing to wash it down with. But, this didn’t stop her from keeping her faith nor believing . She pressed on and began to make mental mind changes to herself and goals.

The journey hasn’t ended yet it’s now beginning.

grief
Andrea Steele
Andrea Steele
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Andrea Steele

I started writing when I was 14 years old. I always loved books. It’s like when your reading them your in another area of tour life that you haven’t seemed to tap into yetz

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