The Secret to Being a Good Father

Being a good parent is difficult. We want to protect our children from bad events. But unfortunately, our world isn't as safe as it was a generation ago. Seventy-five years ago, families left their houses unlocked at night. Kids came home from school without the constant lecture, "Don't talk to strangers." And we usually left the car keys in the ignition when it was parked in the driveway. It was OK to hitchhike from home to the center of town. Those were the good ole days. What have we become now? Sadly, we can't go back.

We want to protect our kids but not suffocate them. Life is harder for growing children because they are constantly learning new things. They need several breaks; they need fun. Make them laugh. Make an ordinary moment special. I was surprised what I thought was an ordinary afternoon doing something with my child turned out to be a memorable moment in their eyes. They told me twenty years later that my best childhood memory was the day I taught them how to tie their shoelaces or coached them to swing a baseball bat. And it wasn't special because they mastered a skill; It was special because they could share their accomplishment with someone. So be there when they reach their milestone, and let them share those moments with you. Cheer them on, and be their number one fan.

We want our children to be independent and start making choices. And our children are eager to explore but need a helping hand. Every child wants someone to watch their back if they make a mistake. They need a cheerleader, a coach, a trainer, and a guide, all wrapped in one. Our children are curious. They want to discover new skills and explore new lands. Don't hinder their curiosity. Let them go. Our children may hesitate initially, but we encourage them to venture out and take that first step. Fuel the fire that feeds their self-worth and confidence. Children need someone there to guide them if they run into difficulty, to encourage them to get up and try again when they stumble and fall. When they find their stride, Dad is there to cheer them on, so they can find their second wind and keep on running longer and stronger. Children won't be afraid to venture further away from their comfort zone and learn new skills because Dad is there to help them. The dads of the world give their children the tools to succeed. Don't tie them down and tell them it can't be done. Give them the opportunity and help them accomplish it. When they succeed, they will see you in a better light. In the future, when another task, more difficult than before, comes before them, your child won't hesitate to ask you for advice and guidance.

Make them laugh or enjoy the time you spend with them. Kids don't want rules and lectures. They want fun. Children want to be accepted and valued. Find some way to let your children demonstrate their value. Let them help you with gardening, getting the mail, setting the table, or washing the car. Empower them with skills and responsibilities. Teach them the things they are most curious about. Show them how to see things in their world differently, from a different perspective. They will appreciate and acknowledge it with a warm hug and a kiss. They will snuggle up close to your ear and whisper the words that melts every Dad's heart, "Daddy, I love you so much."