The Real Reasons Why I Don't Celebrate Mother's Day

Greetings, Vocal readers and subscribers. First and foremost, I want to wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. You are loved and highly appreciated. It may be a thankless job, but you're the real superheroes for your children, grandchildren, and other people in your life. Unfortunately, as for yours truly, and I apologize in advance for being a Debbie Downer, my relationship with my mother was fractured for years. Social media and media in general like to portray the relationships between children and their mothers as positive. This kind of manipulative and fake portrayal of what authentic relationships look like between these two groups is the first reason why I loathe this holiday. Not every mother is worth celebrating and that's okay to acknowledge. It's not out of malicious intent. I rather not engage in meaningless arguments and debates with her. The second reason why I don't celebrate Mother's Day is because of how horrible of a person my now estranged mother was to me, which I'll get to in a moment. The third and final reason why is because I don't see the point of taking part of it. Now, you must be wondering why I heavily dislike the woman who gave birth to me and what happened between us. I'll discuss all of that right now.

I don't envy anyone who have great relationships with their mothers. However, I don't feel the same way about my estranged mother. I'm the oldest of three children growing up in Texas. I'm going to keep it real about her. She was verbally and physically abusive towards me. I was constantly the target of her constant mood swings and took her frustrations out on me for no reason. It was almost as if she was personally disgusted about me for being born. My siblings and I had to walk on eggshells by saying and doing certain things in specific ways, so that we don't upset her. I don't recall when I first experienced the verbal and physical abuse from her, but it left me forever traumatized, especially well into adulthood. I'm still scarred by those events and I'm not afraid to say that she was a horrible person. There were times that I did certain things that made her mad and didn't approve of, but at the end of the day, I refuse to celebrate someone who always portrays herself as a victim and not take any accountability for her actions. She rather blame her own children for her own problems instead of doing any self-reflection or apologizing. No matter what I did, she was always critiquing and called me names. My estranged mother's multiple personalities remind me of several people: Aunt Viv from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Joan Crawford, Angelica from Rugrats, D.W. from Arthur, and Azealia Banks. I'll describe how my estranged mother was according to each character. Number 1: She loved to have the last word in everything and also too reactionary. Number 2: She has made my life a living hell growing up, due to the abuse I've suffered by her. Number 3: She was a stuck-up entitled brat and also bossy, as if everyone was beneath her. Number 4: She can freely make fun of other people and is unaware of her wrongdoings, always getting away with it every time. Finally, she could go off on people and clap back. However, once someone confronts her, all of a sudden, she starts playing the victim and cries. She could diss shit but couldn't take it. Plus, she was batshit crazy. My estranged mother was a loose cannon, as she would fly off the handle for no reason. Did I make her mad or upset at times? Yes, so I'm not on here pretending that I was some kind of saint or proud of the things I've done. However, like I've said earlier, parents have to take accountability for their own actions.

I know some people are probably saying things to me like, "That's disrespectful" and "You're embarrassing your own mother." The latter statement is the whole point of writing this story in the first place. She embarrassed and humiliated me a lot as a kid, so it's fair that I call her out and embarrass her online. I don't care if she sees this story. I stand by everything and unapologetic about the things I've said so far, so I'm allowed to say that she wasn't a great mother to me. This story will never be taken down, no matter how much she starts kicking and screaming if she were to read this story. No child has to put up with disrespect from their own parents, because they can tolerate so much. We're not their emotional punching bags. Calling out toxic family members is necessary, so that others might want to reconsider their relationships with them. I've been open about my childhood and the things I've been through for years, especially on Vocal. My estranged parents tried to silence me, but I've ignored them. I can't in good faith celebrate Mother's Day, because I'm not going to be delusional about a woman who refused to love and support me. We've been estranged since 2011 and have no plans of reconciling with her at all. I've even contemplated changing my last name in order to not associate myself with my estranged mother. My last name was her maiden name. I wouldn't rule out changing my last name in the future. I've written a story last year regarding how Father's Day was irrelevant to me. I'll have the link to that story down below. Judge me all you want, but I'm not sorry for standing up for myself and calling my estranged mother out for her toxic personality. I refuse to tolerate and accept disrespect. If everything in this story was harsh in your own mind, I don't care. We were told as children to respect our parents, but I don't respect parents who disrespect their own children and disregard their feelings. By the way, respect is a two-way street. I'm still standing and doing the best I can to live what we call life.

https://vocal.media/families/father-s-day-is-meaningless