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The Perks of Being a Stepmama

by Diareni V. 4 years ago in parents
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Baby Mama Drama

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have another woman in your child’s life take on the mom role when you never asked for her in the first place. However, you have to understand that I never asked to fall in love with a man who already had a kid, and along with that, baby mama drama. It just sort of happened 🤷🏽‍♀️ and I’m not going to apologize for it.

I care about my stepdaughter so much & I can tell I’m more of a friend figure than a mom figure, and I’m completely okay with that. I don’t want to replace her mom! That’s never been my intention. I only want to be a part of my SD’s life & I want her to know that she can come to me for anything and everything. ✨💕

Regardless of how hard I try though, her mom makes it quite difficult. I try not to listen to many of the rude and ignorant comments the mother makes, but sometimes it’s difficult not to... especially when she’s blowing up my husband's phone and calling him just to start a fight knowing very well we’re in a restaurant having dinner. Apparently the problem this time was that her daughter & and I text. 🙄

The issue was that my SD and I were sending memes to each other (nothing inappropriate BTW, just funny ones) and she got super angry. She claims that I’m too immature & need to grow up...that I need to be more strict and adult-like with my SD. So she doesn’t want me to act like her mom but she also doesn’t want me to be her friend. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I’m honeslty tired of these types of “issues.” They’re ridiculous!!! I’m sorry that you, as the bio-mom, are apparently having a difficult time with your daughter having a good, happy relationship with her stepmom. I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t about you or your feelings. This is about your daughter and teaching her that it’s okay for her to have a healthy relationship with her stepmom. Believe me, I’m sure she’ll be much happier knowing you’re okay with that.

It just baffles me how many bio-mom’s feel a need to fight and cause problems over the stepmom having a good relationship with their daughter! You should be happy & grateful that your daughter is loved & is able to have this type of relationship with her stepmom, because there are plenty of other children out there who wish they could have that.

Not only did the mom accuse me of being too immature, but then she claimed that two of the memes were directed at her. How? I do not know because my SD and I weren’t even talking about her. So now she wants to fight. I swear some bio-moms are just looking to start problems. Thank god I’m not a fighter & I tend to avoid conflict; however, I guess that’s why I’m an easy target 🎯 for her since I’m quiet and nice and tend to keep to myself.

It’s just sad because I spend more time with my SD than her own mom and instead of being an adult about things and coparenting with my husband and I, she wants to be able to say she’s the one who makes the calls. And therefore, my husband and I literally have to schedule everything around her and her schedule. I wouldn’t mind, but we get my SD seven days a week! We get her from 3 PM to 9 PM Monday through Thursday and Friday, Saturday, and Sunday she stays with us. Yet, somehow, my husband and I don’t do enough 🤦🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️. And never mind if my husband and I ask for a weekend off cause she’ll throw a fit and tell my SD that we don’t want her. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I honestly hope more stepmamas out there have better & happier relationships with the bio-moms in their lives! 😘✨💕


About the author

Diareni V.

Trying to juggle being a stepmama of a 12 year old & being a first time mama.

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