The Other Golden Rule

Small, but mighty she smiles, ready for this bold new step. Dwarfed by the towering urban jungle and tall legs of grown figures leading their young into the depths of this brave new world, the tiny kindergarten child peeks up into the eyes of her mother. The unwavering trust lays bare, reflected in the woman’s own cautious glance. Every guardian, in this moment, chooses their make or break words and actions.

It’s funny the moments that stay in your mind forever and the ones that slip away. I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand what makes the difference. After all, I still remember the day I started kindergarten and my mother’s own words to me as I prepared to meet the world of primary education.

“Just remember,” she said, “No-one is any better than you and you’re not better than anyone else.”

You’d think this subtle variation on the Golden Rule would stick about as well as the Golden Rule itself, but somehow the phrasing resonated with me in a way nothing quite had before and at the impressionable age of 5 it may very well have changed the course of my life. This idea influenced so many of my interactions and relationships I built through primary school, high school, university, and well into my adult life.

While I was a charismatic kid and began every new school experience welcomed into whichever popular group ruled the playground, I quickly found myself gravitating towards those dubbed the social rejects (often even by themselves). Everywhere I looked the smallest or the quietest or the strangest were forced into isolation, often teased and physically reprimanded by those fronting the pack. Knowing as I did that I was no better than them and knowing those doing the teasing were no better than me, gave me the confidence to step in. Those who had positioned themselves on top did not frighten me, but they also did not need me. They had an ever growing pack behind them.

Some of you may have mixed feelings about this, a small child taking responsibility for the safety and wellbeing of others around them. As a parent I feel both pride and concern when I see my daughter taking on that same role, knowing as I do the hardships it can bring. However, it is important to remember that while this message from my mum became ingrained in me at such an early age, living by it is a path I have chosen for myself every day, again and again. Even as I began to question the moral standards of those who came before, I never once wavered in my beliefs about this path’s value. I have been able to help so many people, but not only that. In my quest to see the best in people and treat them with equality, I have been afforded so many opportunities to meet and bond with some of the most interesting people this world has to offer.

“No-one is any better than you and you’re not better than anyone else.”

That’s what my mother told me, and with this moral compass as a guide I explored a world much richer than I could have ever expected.

I learned of the wondrous artworks that could be created from lego by a child as young as 8. I discovered the simple satisfaction that comes from shattering an extended cylinder spear of glass across a rusty metal surface. I heard the sharp clangs of metal poles colliding and felt the vibrations in my hand. I overcame my fierce stage fright, dressed in a bright yellow suit before a faceless crowd, and revelled in another crowd’s applause as I sang a solo song with a made-up goatee scrawled across my chin. I explored Golarion in all its majesty and began creating mindscapes of my own through which our bands of unlikely heroes could adventure. These realms of danger and excitement bring an endless stream of experiences limited only by the imagination. I shared a meal with a homeless man and learned of how he came to be a man in this predicament. It’s strange to see that sometimes the only thing between yourself and those you idly wander past in the cold streets is a little bit of luck gone the other way. Countless blessed moments that I wouldn’t trade for a simpler road, not one single moment of regret resides within my heart. A life well lived.

“No-one is any better than you and you’re not better than anyone else.”

Even now, in my adult life, it is one of the best lessons I’ve ever come across. It brings with it much of what I need to succeed in my line of work. I’ve had food thrown at me, been sworn at, threatened, seen furniture toppled at my feet, had those much taller than me use their height in an attempt to intimidate, and that was just in my first year, but whenever push came to shove I found the calm and patience of those words find a positive way through. More often than not, even the most challenging students realise, with time and consistency, that I am there for them. That I don’t judge them for their mistakes or hold those mistakes against them. That no matter how hard they push, I will walk in fresh each day. My mother’s message is a big part of that.

I chose it then. I chose it now. And I hope beyond hope that her words ring true for me every day going forward.

“No-one is any better than you and you’re not better than anyone else.”