The Leo Lies

Someone is lying to the world. I won’t tolerate a liar, I just can‘t stand for it. The originator of this vast conspiracy, this web of deceit, has never revealed themself. Should they ever come out of hiding I plan to be at the head of the line to rebuke, chastise and correct their heinous thoughts. I feel as though stopping this aggregious pack of lies would be my gift to the world.

As the lying culprit says, anyone born between July 23 and August 22 has some big emotional issues. Since my birthday is on August 14 that group includes me. Leo is what they call us and, as the story goes , we are repesented as a lion. Not just one person but everybody has these alleged weaknesses. Apparently everybody born between the aforementioned dates is called Leo and we are lions. Big, strong ferocious intimidating lions and that part I like. But we do not have weakness in us.

See, here is where their story falls apart. The biggest lie that I heard was that if you look in the sky at night you can see a lion. This makes me wonder how many of these folks have been laying out in the grass at night while they’ve got a buzz on. Anybody with a lick of common sense knows that lions only live in Africa and India.

Here is a list of what everybody, including me, who were born between July 23 and August 22 are supposed to be weak about. I get mad just thinking about it!

Number One: Naivete. I don’t even know what that word means but it just does not sound good. Since I don’t know the meaning I think that one of my fellow lions does so I’ll trust them.

Number Two: Arrogance. Like, I make everything about me and nobody else. Yeah,right! To heck with anybody who won’t agree with me.

Number Three: Stubborness. I am not stubborn and you can’t make me believe that I am.

Number Four: Can’t Accept Criticism. There are people who think that I am wrong about this Leo name calling. I’m not wrong. Someone told me that I was not a very smart man. I just spit into his cup of coffee and walked away. He didn’t know me well enough to tell me that I was wrong. I‘m not wrong and it was embarrassing for him to tell me that I was.

Oh, these same people that tell me about me being weak try to make up for it by shmoozing me and making up some good words about us. This one woman told me that all of my Leo posse is, “Self-confident, determined, natural leaders and, generous.” Well of course we are! When you’re good your good and it’s hard to be humble if you are as good as Leos are supposed to be.

Now you understand why being called a Leo can be bothersome. I hope you see how being called an animal has an impact on me. By the way if you ever see me laying out in the grass looking up at the nighttime sky and calling, “Here kitty, kitty. Here kitty, kitty.” just leave me to my vices. Morning will come soon enough.