The Importance of Privacy For Children

Online and offline privacy

As a woman in tech, I know how important privacy is because of my job. My day-to-day work revolves around data protection, access rights, and privacy settings.

But what about the privacy of our children? On the one hand, they should be especially protected on the Internet. On the other hand, offline privacy should not be neglected. By this I mean individual privacy in everyday life.

This article is not primary about information technology and protecting children online. That is an important, big topic.

A right to privacy

There are things that you don’t want to share with anyone. That is quite natural and therefore fine. Demanding privacy is something quite normal. As a child, like adults, one has a right to privacy. It is thus not allowed for parents to disturb their child’s privacy.

“Children need their privacy because it’s good if they do their own things at some point and if parents can let go.” — Ulric Ritzer-Sachs, social educationalist [1]

That’s why children’s privacy is even in the legal code.

“Children are legal subjects from the very beginning and thus have basic rights, including the right to privacy.” — Juliane Hilbricht, family law specialist [1]

Also, Article 16 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child protects against random interference in private life and correspondence, among other things.

A balancing act

On the one hand, mothers and fathers want to protect their child from negative things. On the other hand, children also need a suitable and safe place of retreat. The conflict about the boundaries of privacy appears sooner or later in almost every family.

At the latest from the start of school, parents should knock before entering the child’s room. They should wait for the allowance to enter the room. The same applies to visits from the children’s friends. There, parents are uninvited guests in this room. If the parents disrupt these valuable social contacts, their child will soon meet friends out of the parents’ reach.

It’s the same with checking children’s letters, diaries, or secret hiding places. They are strictly taboo for parents. A boundary may and must be set for parents. But there is an exception if there is reasonable suspicion on the part of the parents, such as that the child has stolen or is keeping drugs.

How to manage this?

Clear rules that parents and children agree on together are important. Parents must trust and be there for their children. Protect them from danger. And at the same time, give the child freedom within the established limits. Allow the child to develop. To try things out. Even without the constant presence and control of the parents.

What children can do when parents do not respect privacy? Talking helps in most cases. I’m not talking about problem cases. That’s when it may be necessary to call in a guidance counselor or another trusted person. You should sit down together and talk about trust. Parents need to understand that they have to let go and trust up to a certain point. That their children can and need to be protected from some things, but not everything. Parents want to have their privacy respected. They should also allow that for their children. Becoming independent is an important part of development. That can only happen if they can try things out.

The other way around, children also need to establish and maintain trust. Stick to agreements. Showing parents that they can move within mutually agreed boundaries.

Conclusion

Parents must grant their children a right to privacy and give them a lot of trust so that they can develop freely. But parents have a responsibility towards their children. They will act according to this when in doubt. It is certainly not easy. Neither for parents nor for children. Together you will find a middle way.

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sources: [1] https://www.sueddeutsche.de/leben/familie-kinder-haben-ein-recht-auf-privatsphaere-dpa.urn-newsml-dpa-com-20090101-200917-99-599085