The Hidden Message

Jonathan pulled his jacket tighter around him as he braced himself against the strong winter wind. His mind was racing as he tried to think of a solution. It seemed like it had happened so fast. One day he had been employed part time at the gas station and attending classes at the local community college. The next he found himself the sole guardian of his younger brother Simon when their mother had died suddenly of an aneurysm while mopping the floor at the grocery store she had worked.

They didn't have any other family. It had been the three of them ever since their father had left shortly after Simon was born. His mother had very little savings which Jonathan used for the burial.

Jonathan had tried asking his manager at the gas station for more hours. "I'll see what I can do." had been the response. They had already been barely scraping by and now it was only Jonathan's income that would have to cover rent, bills and food.

Jonathan had only one more term left of college. He would then be able to get a better job. He just had to find a way to keep afloat until then. He didn't want to think what would happen if he didn't get a good job right away.

Jonathan entered the apartment and found Simon hunched over his homework on the small, ratty couch.

"Hey Simon. How was school?" Jonathan asked.

"It was ok," mumbled Simon not lifting his head.

Jonathan was worried about Simon but he didn't say anything further.

Jonathan went into the kitchen to figure out dinner. There was half a loaf of bread, a bottle of grape juice and a couple cans of condensed tomato soup. Guess this would have to do until he got paid on Friday. He started heating the soup on the stove.

"Jon?"

Simon was standing beside him with a small package in his hand.

"Happy birthday," Simon said holding the package out. Jonathan stared at it. He had completely forgot it was his 21st birthday today.

"You didn't have to do anything, Si," Jonathan said.

Simon shrugged. Jonathan turned off the stove and took the package from his brother. It had been carefully wrapped in newspaper.

Jonathan opened the present. Inside was a small black book with a moleskin cover, slightly tattered.

"It was dad's," explained Simon. "I found it in mom's room one day and she let me keep it."

Jonathan was surprised. Mother usually did not mention their father. She told them he had left them for another woman soon after Simon was born. They had learned not to ask about him and Jonathan's memories of him faded with time.

He turned the book over in his hands and opened it.

This belongs to Tim Ryder was written on the inside cover. A few pages had been torn out, the remnants peeking through the binding. The other pages were seemingly blank.

"Thanks Si," Jonathan said finally. "Come, let's eat."

Later that night Jonathan sat at the table nursing a glass of juice with his textbook open in front of him, contemplating whether he should consider getting a second job. He was already working four days at the gas station and was enrolled in full time classes. Taking on another job would mean less time to study. He needed the money but if he failed his classes then he wouldn't be able to graduate.

Simon was snoring softly asleep on the couch, his legs dangling over the arm.

Jonathan eyed the little black book sitting on the table.

He wished he could remember his father. Tim Ryder. He wondered if he would be able to find him. What would he say?

A sudden thud scared Jonathan causing him to drop the glass of juice onto the table. Simon had fallen off the couch.

"Are you ok, Si?" Jonathan asked as he grabbed tissues to clean up the mess.

"Yeah, I'm ok," Simon replied in a dazed voice.

Jonathan's heart sank. The juice had covered his textbook and the little black book. He dabbed at the notebook furiously. The one thing he had left of his dad's and now it was ruined.

"Here let me," Simon said taking the notebook from him. Jonathan continued to clean up the spill feeling the pent up frustration rising inside of him.

"Jon, look," whispered Simon. Jonathan glanced over. Simon was holding open a page of the notebook where a number had appeared stained with the grape juice. "Is it a phone number?" Simon asked.

Jonathan took the notebook. He quickly grabbed a pen and wrote the number down on a napkin.

"Do you think...could it be dad's number?"

Jonathan and Simon stared at each other. Jonathan's mind flew back to what he had been thinking earlier. What would he say if he found his father? Would he be angry at him for abandoning them? Would he be relieved that they finally found him?

"It's too late to call right now. Maybe we can try in the morning," Jonathan said. Simon nodded. They both looked down at the book.

"Let's go to sleep," Jonathan said after a moment.

Simon and Jonathan shared a room. Neither of them wanted to move into their mother's room just yet.

"What if it is him?" Simon asked in the darkness.

Jonathan slipped his hand under the pillow and curled his fingers around the notebook. "Go to sleep, Si." Jonathan didn't want Simon to get his hopes up. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to sleep.

The next morning Jonathan and Simon sat on the bed, the notebook laying between them. Jonathan's fingers trembled as he dialed the number.

A man with a deep voice answered. "Hello?"

"Um hello. I'm looking for Tim Ryder," said Jonathan.

"This is he. Who's this?"

"It's Jonathan, your son," Jonathan blurted.

There was a pause. "Johnny?" the man said after a while.

"Yes," whispered Jonathan. Simon's eyes were wide.

"Johnny, I can't believe it's you! I'm your grandfather, Tim Ryder Sr."

Jonathan arranged to meet their grandparents the following day. They would be flying in from Toronto to Calgary. "We'll talk about everything when we see you tomorrow," his grandfather had said.

"He didn't mention dad," Simon pointed out.

Jonathan noticed this too. "Maybe there's a good reason," Jonathan said finally. He really hoped there was.

The next day the boys waited nervously at a small cafe. Jonathan thought it would be better for them to meet somewhere public just in case. They were, afterall, strangers.

An elderly couple entered the cafe. They rushed over and pulled Jonathan and Simon into a bear hug.

"Johnny, Simon," sobbed grandma holding them tightly. They sat down wiping their eyes.

"What happened to our dad?" Jonathan asked.

The grandparents glanced at each other. "Timmy died 2 years ago. He had liver cancer," explained grandfather.

"There wasn't a day he didn't think about the two of you," sniffled grandma.

"Then why did he leave us?" Simon asked.

Grandma pulled a letters out of her purse. "He wrote you both a letter. I think it's best if you read it for yourselves."

Jonathan took the letter from his grandmother. The writing on the envelope was similar to that which was in the notebook. For my sons, it read.

"What happened to Sarah, your mother?" Grandfather asked suddenly. Jonathan explained what happened and how they have no other family.

"You have us!" declared their grandmother. "Tim was our only son and you're our only grandchildren. You're all we have left too."

Jonathan looked down at the letters in his hands. "I've got to get to work," he said standing up. Simon stood up as well.

"We can watch Simon," offered grandfather.

"I have to study," mumbled Simon. Jonathan understood Simon's anxiety. They didn't know their grandparents that well. They didn't know their father either. Hopefully these letters shed some light. Their grandparents were looking at them with sadness in their eyes. They said their goodbyes after fixing a time to meet up the next day for lunch.

Jonathan and Simon raced home. When they got into the apartment Simon asked, "Can we read them?"

Jonathan crashed onto the couch and pulled the letter out of his coat pocket.

"Read it aloud" Simon said eagerly.

To my dear sons Jonathan and Simon,

Words cannot express how much I love and miss you both. I know you're wondering what happened and I want you to hear my side. Shortly after Simon was born I was at the office one day when your mother walked in on me and my secretary in a what seemed to be a compromising position. I want you to know that I had not in any way engaged in any sort of misconduct with her. I will swear on my love for you of that. Before I could explain anything your mother ran off with the both of you. I searched everywhere for her and for you both. Your mother didn't have any family and her closest friends did not know of her whereabouts. I spent years trying to locate you and now I fear it's too late. I want you both to know that I have never given up hope that you will return to me. I pray every night that you are taken care of and that you are healthy. I am deeply sorry that I was not there for you during your childhood and I hope you can forgive me for not being able to find you after all these years. Jonathan and Simon, I love you both so dearly.

With love,

Your father Tim Ryder Jr.

Jonathan looked up from the letter, stunned. It had all been a misunderstanding.

"He searched for us," said Simon. Jonathan swallowed and nodded his head his eyes falling back to the letter.

"What do we do now?" asked Simon.

"Mom's room," replied Jonathan. They both scrambled from their seats and rushed to their mother's room.

"What are we looking for?" asked Simon. Jonathan glanced around the room. "Anything," he decided. Jonathan pulled open the dresser drawers while Simon went through the closet. After some time Simon called out "Jon, look at these."

Jonathan hurried over.

There were several diaries hidden in a shoe box. They both grabbed one each and leafed through them.

As they read through them they realized that their mother had been a drifter with no family. She and their father met in Toronto and fell in love. They got married and had Jonathan and Simon but Sarah had started feeling suffocated. This was the longest she had stayed in one spot and Tim had recently been promoted at work. He did not want to move to another city at this time. Eventually Sarah got frustrated and took the boys and left. There had been moments where she wanted to return but felt that too much time had passed and Tim had probably moved on.

Jonathan set the final diary down. "Let's call our grandparents," he said after a moment. Simon nodded.

They met their grandparents at a diner a few hours later. Jonathan explained what they had found out.

"Come stay with us," urged their grandmother. Jonathan explained how he had a few more months left of college and after that they would move to Toronto when they could afford it.

Their grandfather cleared his throat and said "Your father didn't leave you with nothing you know. There's a trust fund set for each of you with $20,000 to be accessible when you turn 21."

Jonathan's eyes filled with tears. The solution to all their problems had been fixed with a small black moleskined notebook.

The end.