The First Visit

Thanksgiving was fast approaching. I was nervous. I'd never hosted before and my Mom and niece were coming to visit. My husband at the time, now ex-husband, didn't seem even slightly excited to see them. We also had a roommate at the time, but he was very "go with the flow" so he told me he'd help wherever needed. Great guy.

The three of us are relaxing, waiting for their arrival, playing Destiny 2 together. I heard my moms car pull in the driveway. Not only was I so excited to see her, but my ex and I had just purchased this first house and I wanted to show my Mom how successful our marriage was becoming. In my family, it was very traditional. Get married, buy a house, have kids. I'd already messed that up by marrying someone with and ex-wife and 2 kids, so I thought by us getting a house together I had redeemed myself. (Not that my mom EVER judged my decisions or made me feel bad about them!)

After hollering to my ex and roommate that they were there, I ran outside and gave big hugs and grabbed their luggage to haul inside. Once my mom, niece, and I had made it back inside, I asked my ex to take thier luggages to their rooms so I could give them a tour of the house. He didn't get up from the couch, barely said hello, and griped at me to take the luggage to their rooms because he was busy. He had never acted this way in front of my family or any visitors before and I was mortified. I brushed it off, obviously ecstatic to see some family, and led them on a quick tour before showing them where they'd sleep.

Once everyone was settled, we decided to order pizza so we didn't have to cook two nights in a row. Mom, my niece, and I settled in at the kitchen table, mom and I with wine, to wait for the food. Again, the ex and roommate were playing video games. (I also played so I don't care, but when there is company.....) When the doorbell rang, I grabbed the pizza and paid, grabbed plates and napkins, set everything up on the table. Again not a big deal there. The ex came in and grabbed some food, and headed straight back to the living room. Roommate did the same, but at least had the decency to explain they were in the middle of a mission.

After dinner that night, Mom and I cleaned up and then we played some cards for a while. My niece was really tired, and staying on the basement pull out couch, which is where the roommate was posted up playing video games. I walked down with her and asked if he'd mind calling it a night so she could go to bed. He did so willingly and with a smile and goodnight. Mom and the roommate also headed to bed. And my ex flipped. Said I was rude and disrespectful for making the people that live here turn off the tv's and games so the guests could go to bed. I was speechless. Literally floored that he was behaving like that. Of course I had to go apologize to my mom for all of his yelling after that, so another great moment to end the day.

The next morning was Thanksgiving and I figured it could only get better at this rate right? No. My ex said he wanted to do the turkey because that was the man's job. He didn't wake up because he had drank heavily the night before, so my mom and I started it. And made all the sides with my niece's help once she woke. Even our roommate offered to help and made the table. My ex finally got up and was irritated that we had made the turkey, seriously????

Fast forward, dinner's ready, we all sit at the table. The roommate steered most of the conversations keeping it light and cheery, so thankful he was there. Ex didn't say more than a few words, once he finished eating he went back to the living room. My mom, niece, and roommate cleaned up and put leftovers away. We had discussed seeing a movie and I asked if my ex wanted to come. Of course not.

Keep in mind, he used to be a very nice, accomodating person, with manners and respect, especially around family. The way he was acting during my mom's visit was completely baffling to me. The roommate hung out with us more than my ex did. Every night our company was there, he'd yell at me for something. When my mom and niece left, he waved a goodbye rather than using manners and walking them out and loading their luggage, like a decent person.

Fast forward again to February. Found out he had been having an affair with multiple other women, who all knew who I was, and confronted me. He got one of them pregnant and kept telling them we were in the middle of a divorce, which we were not, yet. At the age of 25, having been married for a couple of years, and experiencing not only such a display of absolute disregard for anyone but himself, but also the narcissistic capabilities of one man, well, I learned the hard way!

Now, I have a wonderful husband and in-laws. Our first Thanksgiving all together with my Mom, she was cooking the broccoli and my Father in law says, "I think one of your dogs just sh*t behind the couch." (My mom DOES NOT cuss) All I can think is, oh great, another ruined holiday, but my mom starts giggling and hollers to them that it was the broccoli cooking as everyone starts laughing. My husband had been up since 5am preparing the turkey. He hauled my mom's luggage inside and to her room, and made a special trip to the store to get her a wine she would like. We all helped with cooking and the clean up and had so many laughs. That is what family is.

Happy Thanksgiving!