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The Diary of a BindiBabe

An open letter to my parents: Adoption.

By Mayurie Published 4 years ago 4 min read

An open letter about wanting to adopt.

To my parents.

“I was worried to see their faces when I broke the news. I could always tell. And it was telling when they brought out the tea on a silver platter before we had the chance to speak about what I wanted to announce. The conversation was almost professional. Meeting two strangers for the first time to tell them something truly intimate. But I wasn’t approaching them to seek validation, only inform. It was at a point in life where I was grown up enough to feel secure and have developed a strong understanding. Children are the future and always will be and that’s why I’ll aim to adopt. But see below the letter I handed them a week before we met”.

Sunday 1st December 2019 - 10:13 PM

Dear Mum and Dad.

I’ve thought a while about writing you this letter. I anticipate a follow-up conversation but first, please read. What I have to say and out of respect for your wishes to be included in a new journey for me and a significant other, this letter is for you as much as it is for me.

And based on the conversations we used to have about me having children in the future.

The many conversations I’ve faced and participated in whether its at someone’s wedding, or whether it’s with you both. Silently or vocally, were all no stranger to this topic. It’s important that you read it and understand that since this decision has been made and it is final. And I plan to stick by my words and I want to adopt.

I want to adopt my child.

There’s been many struggles we’ve faced together as a family. My battle to grow eloquently from a young child to a mature adult has been a journey in itself and without you both being there for me through thick and thin it wouldn’t mean much if I didn’t respect what it is you would have to say in my choices. You've been there from the start. Watching my study hard and graduate in Medicine. Watched my countless trials and tests during my career and see me become a married woman to a husband I am so lucky to be beside. I also know that this choice of mine ISN’T taken fondly by mum. Mum, I know that you’ll worry for me. The stories of adopting and being a parent to a child that isn’t truly mine is a conversation that could go on for days. The horror stories you heard and relayed to me were interesting and a small reflection of the journey for many new parents wanting to go through the process, but please know that they never put me off. I ask that you join me in raising a new human being in my life. A real extension of me. Just as much as dad has strengthened my belief in wanting to help to change the world to a more balanced and beautiful space, please dad, allow for that thinking to make space for my new child. Your grandson. To introduce my new child to you is just as much as me being the greatest mum - you have both raised a decent daughter and I am lucky to introduce a new child to amazing grandparents - help a good child become great in the world. A chance they may never get without me.

I’ve found more purpose in spending my life time invested in a world I’ve dreamt - and it’s quite capable of becoming a reality - truly loving. I’m taking a chance on a new young person, just like many adults I’ve met through my career have taken on me in actual fact. On reflection, the teachers, colleagues, bosses and learners I’ve met thus far have been a true joy. Without the help of those that have helped me advance my knowledge, skills and kept me determined, giving back in this way feels like nothing.

...And even if I could conceive. If it was possible to make my own child, I see mum knowing that I would want to adopt on top of that.

The nights I’ve cried wanting to know why it is I can’t produce something another human. One of the many gifts in life. But that is it. It’s simply ONE. Crying myself to sleep with a love so deep to have a child of my own to pass on my lifetime onto. Crying in both your arms wishing I’d be able to hold a baby made of half of me and half of Saurabh. But I knew from a very long time ago that even if I could make and have my own child I would still want to help another. Adoption wouldn’t be out of reach. As a doctor dedicating my life to helping, it’s decided. It’s in my fate.

I’ve posted this letter online, as part of my blogging and writing. I hope this is OK. I feel it is nothing to be embarrassed about and If this letter is something that another Indian or Asian woman needs to read to feel inspired to talk or at least first, write an open letter, then I let it be the catalyst.

Myself and Saurabh have found the perfect lady who is working to help us start the process of working. To find our new son! I’m so excited mum! Nervous too! But I’m excited. I can’t wait for you to meet your grandson too mum. So many traditions and ‘little ways’ we have in our family to pass on. Please don’t be upset or feel any burden. This is the start of something positively gracious.

I look forward to seeing you next week ma & pa too.

Hope this letter helps.

Love, Alma. X


About the Creator


Mayurie, Founder of Bindi Babe (www.bindibabe.online) is the Author of: The Diary of a BindiBabe. A series of semi-fiction memoirs based on true events.

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