The Day My Heart Broke Forever

by Jessica Keller 2 years ago in grief

By Jessica Keller

The Day My Heart Broke Forever

I remember the day it all happened, just like it was yesterday. Just days before I got that call, "Jessy your brother is in the hospital." "He is very sick you need to come see him." So I called my dad so he could take me as soon as I got home. We made the long drive to the children's hospital, as we parked I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I walked towards his room down the longest hallway of my life. Nothing prepared me for the feeling I would have the moment I stepped in that room. There he was, my brother and best friend laying in a bed. He was covered in wires, a breathing mask and so many machines all around him. I completely fell apart the moment I saw him like that. See, my brother was the kind of person who was always smiling and happy. He loved to do whatever he could to make other people laugh and in that moment I didn't see any of that in him. So, after I composed myself I went over to talk to him and for the first time in what felt like years, he smiled at me. Which made me giggle and cry a little again. I spent as long as I could with him that day by his side talking to him, giving him sips of water and laughing at things. Later that night I was in my bed just hoping and wishing that my brother wouldn't be taken from us. I went to school in a fog I was so worried about him, and honestly I'd rather be by his side. By the end of the school day I got another call from my mom saying he was doing better. My heart was so happy that it could've burst from my chest. I spent the rest of that day and night in the happiest mood I had been in a very long time. That happiness spilled over into the next day, I went to school and was ready to tackle the day. The first class of my day went by so fast, so I had moved onto math class. On this particular day, we were taking a test and in the middle our teacher's phone rang. She answered it, we couldn't hear what was said but when she looked at me I knew it was for me. I felt close to this teacher, so she did know about my brother and what was going on. I tried to finish that test but it was very hard. So I just rushed, putting down anything. I got up, walked my test to her desk and that's when she said they need you in the office. She was clearly trying to hide the sadness for me but I could still see it. I gathered up all my stuff to walk to the office and was hoping I wasn't right about why. I stepped around the corner to see my dad standing with the guidance counselor. They were all looking at me with this expression that I can't exactly explain. But I can explain in that moment my heart broke into a thousands pieces and would never be the same again. I didn't know what to do or how to handle that he was gone. We were never gonna play a game together again, never would we laugh or enjoy a horror movie together again. I walked up to my dad and just collapsed, my legs no longer wanted to work. In that moment just wanted to stay were I was. Eventually, my dad drove me home; the school gave me some time off to grieve, not that any amount of time would help with that. To this day I miss him, just the same David Allen Shotts Jr. A.K.A Bubba, will remain my best friend for all time. He was taken way too soon, he was born April 15, 1992 and passed May 8, 2008. He just had his sweet 16 shortly before. He will forever me missed by everyone who ever met him.

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Jessica Keller

Im a stay at home mom and wife who loves to find ways to let my creativity flow. So that love led me along the way to here and i hope i can do some good. Maybe I can even help people who also deal with the same things as me. 

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