The best education for your child is to be a 60-point mom!

I wonder if mothers have the feeling that after having a child, they can't help but feel anxious about it.

"anxious that their parenting practices are not scientific enough"

"Anxiety about not creating better learning conditions for your child"

"Anxious that I haven't done enough for my child ......"

In the face of learning, I am worried that I am pushing my child too hard, but I am also afraid that if I relax for a while, I will fall behind step by step.

In the face of personality development, both hope that children are obedient and understanding, but are also afraid that they do not know how to refuse to be bullied.

Behind the emotions of worrying and losing is the mother's effort to refine herself to near perfection for her children.

But the children, really need such a perfect mother?

01

You don't need to be a 100-point mom

A counselor told a story: there is such a mother, who insisted on the concept of "good education to release the child's nature".

She never blames her children, and even if they lose their temper, she will patiently accept all emotions.

But in this state, the child became more and more mischievous and rebellious and did not develop in the way she had predicted.

This mother fell into self-doubt, but was afraid to express her dissatisfaction, and suffered from depression in the day-to-day emotional internal conflict.

Worried that her emotions will have a bad effect on her children, she would rather condescend to herself and maintain the surface harmony.

In the hit drama "Our Marriage", Ba Bathe plays a working mother, Shen Hugging, who turns into a "time management guru" to balance work and family.

Even though the company and home are very hard, Shen Hugging still desperately supports them, trying to be a good mother.

But if the string is too tight, it will eventually break.

One day, she made dinner for the children, did not bother to eat a bite, turned around, and started cleaning.

"The two kids fought over a chicken leg and dropped the bowl on the floor.

She hurried over to clean it up, but the garbage bag she picked up broke again, scattering rice and broken bowls all over the floor.

The accumulated fatigue, the messy home, the children's noise ...... all this made Shen Hugging break down.

She couldn't help but lose her temper with her child, and after calming down, she thought of her mother's words.

"You don't have to ask for perfection in everything, you can be a more relaxed mom."

It's not that mothers are not vulnerable, it's just that those vulnerabilities are hidden under the shell of their identity.

Social perceptions praise mothers with "greatness" while placing high demands on them.

They have to play multiple roles, switching back and forth between them.

Under the aura of "100 points mother" is an ordinary mother who supports her child's growth with her infinite motherly love.

02

The 100 points mother often can not raise 100 points child

The heartbreaking thing is that even if you become a perfect mother, you may not be able to raise a perfect child.

Even if you are a genius mother, your child may be an ordinary person.

Even if you give 100 points of love, you may not get back 100 points of children.

In the variety show "Open Heart Teen", there is a capable mother, the children's clothing, food, housing, and transportation, she is in charge of.

From preparing breakfast to feeding the child, wiping his mouth, brushing his teeth, and putting on his shoes, she was as busy as a gyroscope, while the child did not even have to stretch his hands throughout.

As a result, her 8-year-old son has zero life skills and cannot put on his clothes, tie his shoes, or even use chopsticks.

At school, he was teased by his classmates for his poor self-care skills and became very frustrated.

He felt from the bottom of his heart, "I can't do anything without my mom and dad."

Mothers are often too "selfless" and always think that the more they give, the better they are for their children.

But they forget that while they clear all the obstacles for their children, they also squeeze out their children's room to grow.

Behind every incompetent child, there stands an all-around mother.

The fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things.

The only thing you want to do is to do everything for your child, but you forget to teach your child to "take responsibility for himself".

As a result, the more capable the mother is the lower the child's sense of existence, and the more grown-up the less capable she is.

03

The best mother is the one who takes the "co-pilot" seat

A good mother does not have to be all-knowing and dominant in everything but knows how to love herself and set an example for her children.

The documentary "The Second Time Around" features Huang Meaning, who is such a "60-point mother".

Huang Meaning, 42, is a female assembly line worker who has been working in Shenzhen for six years.

For the sake of her children's future, she decided to get a diploma to save points to settle in Shenzhen.

After graduating from high school, she went out to work and picked up the books again at a young age, which was a great challenge for Huang Meaning.

In addition to work, she has to take care of household chores and supervise her children's homework.

Only when her family is asleep does she have time to sit at the dinner table and study the online courses while taking notes.

Sometimes, she had to take the subway for two hours to go to a teaching site far away from home to attend offline learning.

In those years, Huang seldom rested before midnight and had to start her day at 6 am.

In this way, she got her college diploma and an undergraduate degree and became a "line manager" from a front-line female worker.

Infected by Huang Meaning, her son also stopped playing and devoted himself to his studies.

He will come to school before 6:30 every day to study, arrange the day's study tasks, and never need to worry about adults.

When he comes home, he studies with his mother, and sometimes when he sees her playing with her cell phone, he will deliberately tease her.

"Didn't you say that you live and learn, why don't you continue studying?"

Without high education or good material life, ordinary mother Huang Meaning teaches her children the most important lesson in life through physical activity.

As long as you don't give up on self-growth, you have the opportunity to change your life.

A truly wise mother knows how to live as a beam of light to illuminate the direction of her children's journey.

When children grow up and go on their own, they will be able to steer their own lives and successfully navigate through storms and hazards.

04

No one is perfect, and neither is a good mother.

She will accidentally make mistakes, occasionally lose her temper, and cannot satisfy every wish of her child ......

But she will certainly make her child feel loved and valued.

The French educator Rousseau wrote in "Emile" that

The best education is the education that does nothing.

And this is exactly the parenting wisdom of a 60-point mother, that is, not to be completely permissive with her children, nor to be overly concerned.

Give the right to experience and choose life to the child, appropriate guidance, enough tolerance, and at the same time to manage their own lives, and children together to run to a better future.