The Bad and the Good

We’ve done this before, why would this one be any different? It was June in 1998 and Dad was all set to retire. Along with retiring, Mom and Dad had picked out a home for them to spend the rest of their lives at. Moving day was always exciting, Dad being a minister had moved a few times and this one was no different. Except this time, none of us kids were moving with them. We all had our own places but was there to help them. Mom was having some medical issues and was able to make an appointment on moving day. Dad took her to her appointment while the rest of us supervised the moving company. This was hard work, which was filled with drinking coffee, eating donuts and sharing stories with the family.

Mom’s issue had made her look like she was pregnant. She was retaining a large amount of fluid and needed to find out why. They ran some tests, drained the fluid and Dad gave her a doll to try an lighten up the mood. I don’t remember if we found out on that day or if it was a little bit later, but it turned out that mom had ovarian cancer. Mom began the treatments and told me that she was going to beat this thing.

A couple months pass and I was invited to go camping at Michigan International Speedway. A friend had a spare ticket and his family had a campsite right at the track. I was big into Nascar at the time and I jumped at the chance. First time ever going to a Nascar event and I was excited. We arrived on Friday evening and set up camp. The next day was the Busch series race and I bought tickets for my friend and I. We sat in the grandstand the entire day; I was so thrilled to see the cars on the track that I never left my spot until all the activities were over. My friend’s parents made us dinner and we enjoyed the surrounding campers. So much excitement that my legs were tingling. Sunday arrived and the big race was upon us. I couldn’t wait to find our seats and watch. My legs were now hurting, but I didn’t care, I was at a Nascar race and I was going to see my hero Dale Earnhardt Sr race in person. Mark Martin won that race with my guy finishing 9th. Now my legs were really bad, yeah, I had sunburn. I had a bubble on my knee due to the sunburn and it hurt to wear pants. Since I worked in a cubical, I asked the boss if I could wear shorts while I deal with this sunburn. When he saw how bad it was, he sent me to the hospital. I managed to get 2nd degree burns on my legs and needed to get a special cream to help heal it. Later in the week I went to visit mom. I open the door of the house and she is laying on the couch and makes two perfect throws of suntan lotions hitting me square in the chest. While they were in flight she asks if I ever heard of these. Even sick she was trying to take care of me.

I don’t remember much about Christmas that year, I’m sure we all got together like we always did. Mom tried to put on a good front and we feasted for the holiday. New Years fewer of us came for the holiday and mom was having a tougher day. Dad had done all the preparations and Mom wasn’t happy about not being in the kitchen. This was the last time I saw my mom, she died on Jan 14th, 1998.

Mom dying hit me hard and I wasn’t doing well with it. I had refused to go to the hospital to visit and felt like I could have been a better son. Dad was extremely cool about it and let me off the hook many times, but I still felt so guilty about not giving more time to mom. That feeling is still with me today in 2020, but I am remembering more happier times as well.

February 1998 begins the Nascar season with the Daytona 500. It was always one of my favorite races to watch and this year was no different. This day was a good day, Dale Earnhardt Sr finally won the Daytona 500. Ironically, he died three years later on the last lap of the 500.

1998 was looking up and another friend told me she had an extra ticket for the March race in Bristol. Wanted to know if I knew anyone that might want to go with her. No brainer, I went to Bristol. Our seats were on the back stretch and I as somewhat disappointed with that until I saw that Dale Earnhardt’s pits were right in front of us. That was another fun day and I’m so thankful for my friends to help me through the difficult road I was on.

I said this before, cherish the time you have with family. You will never know how much time you have with them. Dad passed away in 2017 and I feel I did better with him than I did with mom. By that I mean I went to the hospital to visit, I came over more and called on the phone. There are still things I wish I would have still done, but I have wonderful memories to fall back on, can you say that?