The Advice of my Mother
"Q of the day": How did you balance being "Mom" and my "friend"? How did you teach me to acknowledge both sides of you? This is what my mother said to me:
"I think you have to duplicate yourself, by showing them respect as a mother and as a friend. That makes it easier for your daughter to come to you about anything. Your daughter should always know that ‘Mommy is my friend, but she is also my mom. That means I need to have a certain respect for her.’ That is why we talk about everything, MJ. I think you and your sister would talk to me before you talk to your girlfriends. And I believe our relationship is contagious to other people, and that allows people to be free around us as well.
Some daughters feel like their moms will judge them and no mother should judge them. (You guys get that from your dad, by the way, and some of your aunts) Girls may feel a certain judgment from their mothers and become closed off. They may not feel like they can be open. That is how daughters become reluctant to disclose information to their mothers.
You have to be taught to be a mother before you can be a mom. You guys used to say ‘thank you for being my mom and I used to tell you that it was my pleasure, but being a mother is both a pleasure and a duty. From a girl, then you become a young lady, then you become a woman, and then a Grown lady.
Now, being a mom does not start when you're a teen. It starts as soon as your daughter is born. Creating a foundation of openness from the very start of your daughter's life. From the moment you were born is when that foundation started.
Infant bonding is the very first age. I remember singing you your ABCs, tickling you, making you laugh and giggle, using your toes in "This Little Piggy", and of course your favorite: Blue's Clues. You were a movie buff and you never watched TV. You always had a VHS (My mom loves to reminisce). An important bonding moment was when got you a training potty. I would take it to the bathroom with me, and every time I went you went, MJ. So that established a time for you. Whenever you went to the bathroom, I would give you a star sticker for going. And even when you didn't have to use the bathroom, you would go whenever I would. You would tell me "pee-pee, pee-pee!" And even when I didn't have to and you would have to, I would still go with you. And when you had to go number two, first of all, the faces you made and when you looked at them were hilarious! You pointed at it and you said "Ewwww" and then you knew the difference between the two.
You were with me until you were about 2yrs old and then I put you in daycare. For me, you had to be over 12 months, because I didn't know how other people would handle you. I was the one who bonded with you, and I just didn't know how other people would handle you. Bonding is very important. I realize the importance of bonding, at the beginning, which would dictate the status of our relationship, MJ."
This is the advice of my mother. In my family, on my mother's side, there are a lot of relationships like the one I have with my mom. A beautiful, open, wholesome relationship and friendship. However, there are also some very ugly, mean, and suffering types of relationships between mothers and daughters on her side as well. Seeing us and seeing them makes me so grateful to have her as a mom, a mother, and a friend. But, it also makes me want to give a piece of us to other mothers and daughters as well. I find a lot of love and comfort in the advice my mom gave me, and now I am sharing that love and comfort with you.
*MJ* I hope you all enjoyed this. It is something I would love to keep continuing to do. So, I ask that you give me any advice on making my execution, of my mom's advice, better and I ask that you leave some questions as well. Maybe you are a mom who wants some advice, maybe you're soon to be having a daughter, or maybe you are a man or a woman who just wants to be surrounded by beautiful words. Whatever the case may be, you can find beauty, advice, love, etc. right here. Thank you for reading and for your comments
About the Creator
Milith Jade "MJ"
What's good y'all?? I love to write and read (Although I definitely write way more than I read). I mainly just try to write short stories to improve my writing skills. Any advice is grateful and I can't wait to learn from you.
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