Tapestry of Love

It seems Is so Ironic that the heart cry spoken “Lord please make this stop!” was only the beginning. I find myself tracing the tapestry of our life together while admiring the colors and careful placement of every thread in the needle point on the wall. I set up my canvas knowing it will be a long night. It must have taken her months to complete I thought while laying in a field of blue. I would agree with Kendra Cherry in her medically reviewed article published on the website “Very Well Mind” when she stated, “color is a powerful communication tool”. Clearly, her assertive nature of the past is evident in the bold color choices. Yet this part of her personality was buried in the attic. Is only revealed to me through the boxes of real estate sales made in years past. Then my eyes fell on the hummingbirds buzzing in the center remembering those quiet coffee mornings on the back porch. While I experienced the quick decline of communication skills. Now her personal history only shared through the voice of family. For her, only words of wisdom carefully stitched in the tapestry of her needlework are left.

Only yesterday we stood in the shower performing the daily routine that had become sporadic now due to the fear of water. It broke my heart when I heard the cry “Lord please make this stop!” My tears began to fall.

“Okay, granny we’re done.” I could not continue, truly this was a walk of faith. I watched my husband mourn the loss for five years as we tenderly cared for granny, but this was the only granny I knew confused and lost.

The sweetness of her heart always shined through. Like a needle guiding us through this tapestry of dementia. The needle left behind a stitchwork of laughter and tears strengthened by faith in God. A tapestry I will forever treasure. I look back and see how this newly formed family became stitched together in tenderness and closeness. I and Ray had only been married three years when we came to care for granny. My children were grown and would have most likely felt displaced if it had not been for this happenstance. A tapestry in which each of us had a part. I would not have survived if the children had not stepped in to give me and Ray time together. Each of us developing a bond with a common thread named granny to all of us. Through it all, I see how she lovingly stitched us together as a family and I will forever be grateful for the last tapestry she created.

I remember the day When God spoke into my heart “This is my child, and she needs your help” Now that same God has heard her cry “Lord please make this stop!” as the body slowly shuts down.

The time is here. I do not think I am ready. I wish I really had the time to know her. Time... I am just trying to make it through this time with each brushstroke thinking about every stitch it took in the needlepoint (give me time Lord). I am not sure I had time to understand her. My husband Passes the time reciting the thoughtful deeds of years of relationship with this woman whom he loves as much as his own life. He retells me the story of sitting on her lap as a little boy as she speaks love and faith into his little heart, during times when his mom would be gone in a sixties haze. Time goes by so fast, and now her time was coming to an end. I see the desperation in her eyes as she fervently tries to express her dying words that only manifest in growls. I try to reassure her it is okay we will be okay. I tell her It is time to go see grandaddy her Greek god (as she referred to him) I tell her to tell him hello for me. I had never got to meet him. Then I go back to my canvas to paint in the peaceful beach scene while my husband and his mom say their goodbyes.

I found my goodbye in the hymnal I’ll meet you in the morning (I sang out during the funeral) with a 'How do you do?'

And we'll sit down by the river and with rapture, old acquaintance renewed (yes one day I will truly meet and know the artist who stitched a tapestry of love into my life)

You'll know me in the morning by the smile that I wear.

When I meet you in the morning by, in the city that is built four square…..