Talking Hearts

Talking Hearts, Couples Edition cards - What's the best that could happen:

How do you define success? Has that changed over time?

What's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?

What do you think is my biggest strength in our relationship?

When you were a kid, what chores did you take shortcuts on to fool your parents?

What's the best that could happen?

The best thing that can happen is to ask the questions and answer them for both me and John. It is saying things that we may never have said out loud if it wasn't for the questions on these cards. He picks two cards. On one side is a 'thoughtful' question and on the other side is a 'playful' question.

It takes two cards to give a good three minute read. More than that at one time, may be a bit boring for all of us!

How do you define success? Has that changed over time?

John: As a kid, I used to think that success meant having a new motorcycle, but I would buy one and just get it home and want another bigger one. Success meant having all of the toys I wanted. Having money in the bank. A new truck. Being the big shot when out at the bars.

This has changed. I really appreciate what I have now and have no interest in buying a new bike. Even though my bike is nineteen years old, and my car is five years old. And my wife is 72 years old! They are all just great!

Denise: Success today is being happy, joyous and free. Having the promises of recovery from addiction. Knowing that I can love and pray for family members caught in addiction. I can't save them. I can't even help them as that can postpone their getting help.

In my past as a young adult, I thought success was keeping my children alive and well. Raising my children to be decent human beings. Getting a college education. A good job. Having enough at first to feed and clothe my children, then later it was having enough to be comfortable.

What's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?

John looked at me after reading this question and with love in his eyes said, "The luckiest thing in my life was finding you!"

Denise: Me too! Finding you. My charm!

That was short and sweet and nothing more needed to be said. It is really nice to feel that way after 26 years together.

What do you think is my biggest strength in our relationship?

John said without hesitation: Your recovery from addiction and the family program! Your recovery shows and you continue to attend both family support meetings and addiction recovery support. You sponsor women and participate in service whenever possible.

Denise - And I said: I totally agree! You work a kickass program, by attending support meetings regularly, only missing when we are out of town, reading literature daily, morning and night, working with others, being a group representative and treasurer.

When you were a kid, what chores did you take shortcuts on to fool your parents?

John: Butch and I used to clean the bar that the folks owned, and we would steal booze. We would clean fast so that we had time to hide the booze, and we never got caught.

Denise: When it was my turn to do the dishes, I used to make my younger sister take my turn. Our mother never knew. As young adults my sister confronted me about that and I laughed. I had to apologize for laughing over and over again.