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Taking the Blame

It Was All Me. It Was All My Doing.

By Existance EnthusiastPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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"As it turns out, you CAN function while your heart is being torn to shreds." -Jodi Picoult

If you read part 1, " He's the one!",you may be wondering, what happened within the family to put them against me in such a sudden and odd way. Why would they do such a thing? What did I do to bring this upon myself? Valid questions. My part was being immature and quick to temper. This is how it started and it unfolded like this.

We had suddenly found ourselves having to leave our rented home and in need of someplace to stay until we found a new place. So, we stayed with a family member for a short time. In that time, we did the best that we could to remain helpful and stay out of the way. But at some point along the way, it had started to become increasingly clear that we were overstaying our welcome, contrary to what was being said to us. Little things were said or done that made, me especially, very uncomfortable with being there. It had gotten to the point that I just kept my kids in my bedroom quietly reading or playing until the rest of the household was awake and moving around. I walked on eggshells all day every day. Offering a hand whenever I saw the opportunity to do so. The hand was always declined. I made excuses why we had to spend the days elsewhere etc. We had been looking for places to live but in such a small community, it was difficult to find anything. We had just been discussing what to do next when there was a knock on our door. The family member, at the spouse's bidding, asking us to leave as soon as it was possible. Being who I am, I decided that I could not stay a minute longer where I was unwanted, and we packed up what we could in that moment and left. We went to another family member's home temporarily. We did not think, at the time, about the repercussions that this move would take on within that family dynamic. There was an uproar over the situation, naturally and rightly so. Things were being said about my person by the offended family member that simply were not true. These things either never happened or were twisted in an unfathomable way. Here is where my absolute immaturity came into play. I went to grab some belongings from the home we had left the night before and I was confronted by the very angry spouse. I, to this day, never understood the anger unleashed upon me. They wanted us to leave, so we did. The anger didn't and still does not make any sense to me. She was in my face, yelling and cussing at me for hurting her husband's feelings. I was confused as he had just asked us to leave. Why would us doing as we were asked hurt his feelings? She proceeded to attack me on a personal level and tell me things that I knew to be untrue. She did not yet know that people had been telling us what they had been saying about me. So, as any normal person would do, I defended myself. Where I lacked judgment, was offering up the name in my fit of anger, of the person who had relayed a private conversation. You can imagine the outrage that ensued in my name due to that lapse in judgment. I freely admit and own up to my part in this situation. The other parties never have. Not the party that told the lies, nor the party that put it upon herself to relay this private conversation. It was all me. It was all my doing. After this day, we; my children and I; were then unwelcome wherever we went. From that day forward, this family did all that was in their power to get me exited from their man's life. They accused me of abusing one of my children and then spread the rumor as fact. They blatantly ignored mine and my children's presence. I then stopped attending most family events so that they wouldn't feel the need to be offended by presence. Unfortunately, what this action did, was keep their man away from the events as well. Not because he was defending or standing up for my honor mind you. He is the type of person that cannot be bothered to do things without a shove. The only times he would go to an event, was if his family had urged it or if I had urged it. The other reason that he didn't bother with going to some events, is because while I worked, he would care for my children for me and he didn't want to hassle with getting them ready and carting them around as they were young and very dependent still. It was easier to keep them in their natural environment. Home. But, you must know, that because he did not show, it was my fault. I was keeping him away from them. I was controlling and deceiving him against his family. It was at that point, that it had become very clear to me that they had no idea who this man was as a person. Or, they ignored to justify themselves in making me the bad guy. He is not easily manipulated or controlled. He has a mind of his own and he uses it against me daily. If they knew him, really knew him, how could they ever suppose that he was being controlled by the likes of me? How could they take this credit away from him? Why didn't he stand up for me to them? Simple. He felt close to the family ties. Family is very important to him. I have never had that so I couldn't personally understand those feelings but, I let him have them.

I ask myself all the time. Why didn't I cut my losses at this point? How could anyone fully commit to someone that was not approved of by their family in such a strong way? My answer is just this. I was afraid of being alone. I loved him. He was good. He loved my children and my children loved him. But mostly, I was afraid to be alone. So, I let the badgering on my person continue. At the time, it was worth it to me to not feel loneliness again. If you have ever felt that, you will understand my position on this. I wish this was the end of their meddling. I wish I could tell you, that I got up the nerve to defend myself against this onslaught of these personal attacks. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. It continued. They were trying to get rid of me and not succeeding. So then, what would their next attempt be? Lash out at my female insecurities, of course.

I am not sure how it developed, but there came a time, where it became acceptable to the family, to pick up the relationship that they had with his most recent ex. His ex who had left a very profound impression on him. I would almost say that he pined for her. I would even say, that she was his lost love. That no one could take that place. She was suddenly being invited to family events and actually going to them. A family member was calling him saying that this woman wanted to talk to him or see him. All of which he of course declined. She was showing up to events that he was present at. He was telling me that he ignored her in every way that was possible. This is where the lies I had been told by him started coming into light. I didn't know at that time, but even then after being caught in lies already, he was still creating lies surrounding this woman. Was there something developing here, a friendship maybe, that I was put in the dark about?

....end of part 2. Lies and deceit in the relationship are coming.

immediate family
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About the Creator

Existance Enthusiast

A wanderer at heart.

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