grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
The Clock on the Wall
I never liked that clock. It was in our lounge room, a tacky, ticking plastic affair that was never quite right for the decor. The glass was broken from when I'd thrown a cricket ball indoors and blamed the kid next door. The numbers were beginning to wear off. Yet my father never got a new one. It still works," he'd say, rapping the glass with his knuckle. That was Dad — practical to a fault. He never purchased anything twice if the original still worked. His shirts were always neatly patched at the elbows. His shoes shined until they gleamed — even when they were ten years old. He used things, loved people, and wasted nothing. Except perhaps time — the one thing that never returned. --- Growing up, I always thought my father didn’t feel much. He did not hug us for no reason. Never yelled at us unless we really messed up. Never cried — not even at his own father’s funeral. He put in a 10-hour day at the power plant, came home with grease on his hands and weariness on his shoulders, then went out to inspect the generator behind our house because, "if I don't, who will?" He did not read me bedtime stories. He did not attend my school's poetry contest. And when I said I was going to study literature, not engineering, he just nodded and said, "Just make sure you can earn from it." I confused that silence with indifference. --- Years went by. I left for the city. College, career, apartment — the works. Mom would call me every Sunday, giving me updates on Dad's health, or the lack thereof. "He doesn't sleep well," she once remarked. "His knees hurt. He won't see a doctor." "Tell him to rest," I would answer nonchalantly. Yet I wouldn't phone him. I'd always intended to. But never did. Then one morning, the call came. --- It was Mom. Her voice cracking. He fell in the garage. The doctor said… his heart. Silence. "You should come." --- I returned home to see him sitting up in bed, wires all over the place, oxygen tube in his nose. He was smaller, as if someone had deflated the man who used to lift water tanks on his own. "Still wearing that silly watch?" he rasped with a weak grin, gazing at the digital wristwatch he had given me on my 18th birthday. I nodded, abruptly speechless. My throat seared with the guilt of distance. He extended his hand and touched my wrist. "Good. It's waterproof." --- That evening, I sat next to him, watching him as he slept. I saw how the fingers of time had etched lines on his face. How his hands, strong and stained with labor once, now quivered as they rested. I glanced around the house — it was the same. Mom's plastic flowerpots on the window. Dad's bookcase full of aging car manuals. And that blasted clock still ticking away on the wall. For a moment, I hated it even more — the way it just kept going while everything else fell to pieces. --- In the following days, he weakened. But also. softened. He inquired about my job. He inquired whether I had anybody special. He even managed, "I'm proud of you," although his voice broke in the middle. One night, he had me sit with him and sort through some old letters. In them was a picture of me, 7 years old, clutching a toy wrench. On the back, in his handwriting: "My boy will fix anything — even the world." I broke down. "Why did you never say things like that out loud?" I asked. He smiled weakly. "Because I was too busy showing it." --- On his final morning, he requested two things: 1. His tea, with two sugars. 2. For me to wind the old clock. "It slows down if you don't wind it," he replied. While I moved the hands, he shut his eyes. When I turned back, he had stopped breathing. --- We laid him to rest by the garden. The same one he planted each spring by his own hands. I stood by as they put the coffin into the ground. My heart was numb, but my eyes could not remain dry. At home, I sat in his chair. For the first time, I actually heard the clock ticking. Steady. Calm. Untroubled by sorrow. I realized it wasn’t just a clock. It was him — a symbol of time spent, not wasted. Of love shown, not spoken. --- Now, I wind it up every Sunday. I take my tea as he did. I wear his flannel shirts with patches when I write. And sometimes, when I pass the garage, I could swear I still catch a whiff of grease and dust and the silent, obstinate love of a man who never spoke it — but always meant it.
By Muhammad Usamaabout a year ago in Families
The Chair by the Mango Tree
I never thought a simple wooden chair could hold so much meaning. It sat under the mango tree in our ancestral courtyard for over two decades, weathered by time, dust, and laughter. But to us, it was Dada’s throne — my grandfather’s favorite place in the whole world. Dada wasn’t a man of many words. He was gentle, observant, and carried a kind of calm that made you want to sit near him even when he wasn’t saying a thing. Every evening, after prayers and tea, he would quietly carry his chair beneath the tree, take a seat, and watch the world go by. To a stranger, it would look like nothing. But to us — it was the center of our home. --- I remember summers in that house. My cousins and I would run barefoot across the dusty yard, our shirts sticking to our backs, mango juice dripping from our chins. Dadi would yell from the kitchen, warning us not to climb the tree again, and we’d pretend we didn’t hear. And Dada would just sit there — in that chair — sometimes smiling, sometimes pretending to be stern. That chair saw every scraped knee, every fight over the last mango, every childhood secret whispered just within earshot. He never interrupted. He never scolded. But we all behaved better when he was there. It’s strange how one person’s quiet presence can be more powerful than a dozen lectures. --- In winter, Dada wrapped a shawl around himself and sat in the same chair with the sun on his face. He'd sip tea slowly, always from a chipped white cup with a blue rim. And when I grew older, he let me make his tea — just the way he liked it: strong, no sugar, a pinch of cardamom. That was our thing. I’d sit on the edge of the step while he sat in his chair, and we’d talk about everything — and sometimes nothing. He once told me: > “When you get older, you'll learn that silence is a kind of wisdom. People chase noise to feel full. But peace... peace is found in the quiet.” I didn’t understand it then. But I do now. --- The year he fell ill, the chair remained empty. He was in bed most of the time, and though he never complained, we could see it pained him not to be outside. One day, he asked me, “Is the tree still green?” I nodded, hiding my tears. “Very green.” He smiled. “Then it’s still home.” --- Dada passed away peacefully a few months later. We buried him near the garden he loved. The mango tree bloomed that year like never before. And the chair? It stayed where it was — untouched, almost sacred. No one had the heart to move it. --- Years passed. We grew up, moved away, and life became busier. But every time I visited that house, I’d go straight to the chair. I’d sit for a while, let the wind carry the smell of ripe mangoes, and listen for echoes of our childhood. One afternoon, my own son — barely five — climbed into my lap while I sat in Dada’s chair. He looked up at the tree and said, “Was this your favorite place when you were little?” “No,” I whispered, “it was his.” And then I told him stories of my grandfather. About the man who never yelled. The one who taught me silence. The one who sat under this very tree and watched the world with kindness in his eyes. --- Grief softens with time, but some places remain sacred forever. That chair, under that tree, became more than furniture. It became a legacy. A reminder that the most valuable parts of family aren’t loud or grand — they are built in moments so small, we don’t realize how deeply they matter until they’re gone.
By Muhammad Usamaabout a year ago in Families
Empty Chair at the Dinner Table
The table was set just like it always had been — six plates, six forks, six glasses filled halfway. The smell of baked chicken and rosemary potatoes lingered in the warm air. But even with the familiar comfort of a home-cooked meal, the room felt colder than usual.
By Hazrat Usman Usmanabout a year ago in Families
The Last Visit to Room 206
It had been three years since I last visited the hospital where my sister spent the final days of her life. Room 206. Even saying it felt heavy — like it carried too many memories to fit in a single breath. But last Friday, I found myself standing at the edge of the hospital parking lot, gripping the steering wheel tightly and asking myself why I had come. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe closure. Or maybe I just needed to remember her differently. --- My sister, Sara, was five years older than me. Brave, stubborn, loud in the best way. When we were kids, she used to defend me from bullies at school, even though I’d beg her not to. “You're my little brother,” she used to say. “It’s my job to punch people for you.” When she was diagnosed with leukemia at 27, it felt like the universe had made a mistake. “She’s too strong for this,” I kept telling myself. “She’ll beat it.” And she did — for a while. But the second time it came back, it came faster. Meaner. Her hospital stays got longer. Her voice got quieter. And slowly, her body started slipping away, even though her spirit held on until the very end. --- Room 206. It was the corner room on the second floor. Big window, squeaky fan, and a couch that no one ever slept well on. That room had heard her laughter and her cries. It had seen our family pray together, argue over treatments, and fall silent when the doctor entered with news we didn’t want to hear. That room had become a second home — and the place I now feared most. --- The receptionist looked up as I walked in. “Can I help you?” I cleared my throat. “I’m just… visiting. Is Room 206 still in use?” She tapped something into her computer and nodded. “Yes. There's a patient there.” I nodded slowly. “Thanks.” I didn’t go up right away. Instead, I sat on the same bench outside the elevator where I had cried the night we were told she had only days left. I remembered the vending machine snacks, the smell of antiseptic, the doctor with kind eyes who never sugarcoated anything. I sat there, letting it all come back. --- Eventually, I went up. The door to Room 206 was slightly ajar. A soft beeping from the monitor echoed inside. A man in his 60s was lying in the bed, pale but awake. A young woman — probably his daughter — sat beside him, reading something aloud from her phone. She looked up when she saw me. “Hi, can I help you?” I froze. “I… I used to visit someone in this room. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.” Her expression softened. “It’s okay. It’s a good room, isn’t it?” I nodded. “Yes. It meant a lot to me.” --- I didn’t stay long. Just enough to stand near the window and glance at the sky outside. That same sky my sister had stared at every morning, looking for birds and pretending the clouds had faces. She once told me, “I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of being forgotten.” She never would be. Not by me. Not by anyone who knew her. As I walked out, I left a small note with the receptionist: > "To the person in Room 206 — This room once held a warrior. May it give you peace, as it once gave us comfort. — A stranger who remembers." --- Grief is strange. It doesn’t follow timelines. It doesn't care how strong you are. But moments like this — returning, remembering, honoring — they give you strength. They remind you that love, even in absence, leaves behind a light. And sometimes, all it takes is revisiting the places that once broke you to feel whole again.
By Muhammad Usamaabout a year ago in Families
The Old Jacket in the Closet
When my grandfather passed away, we didn’t cry at first. We were too busy making phone calls, arranging funeral prayers, greeting distant relatives, and trying to hold ourselves together. It was only after the house emptied, and silence returned, that grief settled in like dust — quietly and everywhere. He was the anchor of our family. Always calm, always knowing what to say, even if it was just a warm nod or a raised eyebrow. He never missed morning tea, and he never raised his voice. His strength was subtle, but steady — like a tree you didn’t notice until its shadow was gone. A week after the funeral, my mother asked me to clean out his closet. “I can’t do it,” she said, her voice thin and unfamiliar. “Not yet.” I nodded, even though I didn’t feel ready either. His room still smelled like him — cardamom, shaving cream, and old paper. The fan made its usual humming noise, and his slippers sat neatly by the bed as if he might walk in any second. I opened the closet slowly. Shirts, pressed and folded. Trousers on hangers. Scarves he never wore. Ties from decades past. I touched them one by one, trying to memorize the feeling. And then I saw it — tucked in the far corner — his old jacket. It was olive green, heavy, and worn at the sleeves. I remembered that jacket. He wore it every winter morning when he took me to school on his bicycle. The pocket still had a receipt from the tea stall we used to stop at. I held it up to my face, and for a second, it felt like he was still here. I sat down on his bed, jacket clutched against my chest. And I wept. For the first time since he left. --- Grief is strange. It doesn’t hit you all at once. It comes in waves — sometimes triggered by a song, sometimes by a smell, and sometimes by an old jacket hiding in a closet. That afternoon, I didn’t clean anything. I just sat there, flipping through his notebooks. He had written poems I never knew about. Thoughts. Prayers. Even jokes. On one page, in his neat, careful handwriting, he had written: > “We grow old not when we turn grey, But when we stop loving the mornings.” I closed the notebook and smiled. He had always been a morning person. And now, every sunrise reminded me of him. --- In the following weeks, I started wearing his jacket. Not because I needed warmth — but because it felt like carrying a part of him with me. My mother noticed. “That jacket looks good on you,” she said one day, quietly. “It still smells like him,” I whispered. She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. “It always will.” --- Months passed, and life resumed its pace. Birthdays came and went. New routines replaced the old ones. But some things stayed — like his chair on the porch. No one ever sat on it. As if we were all waiting for him to return and ask for his tea. One morning, I woke up early and went for a walk — wearing his jacket. The air was crisp, the sky painted with soft gold. I stopped by the same tea stall we used to go to. The old man there recognized me. “You’re his grandson, aren’t you?” he asked. I nodded, smiling. “Yes. I am.” “He used to sit right there, same order every time. Two teas. One for him, one for a little boy with sleepy eyes.” “That boy was me.” The tea vendor laughed. “He talked about you all the time.” I sat there for a while, watching people rush by. Then I ordered two teas. One for me, and one for him. I placed the second cup across the table. Just for a few minutes. --- I still wear the jacket when I need comfort. I’ve repaired the sleeve and stitched a small patch inside with his initials. It’s become more than clothing — it’s memory, warmth, and quiet strength wrapped around me. Grief doesn’t go away. But it softens. And it teaches you to find beauty in reminders, no matter how small. A jacket in a closet. A forgotten tea receipt. A quote scribbled in an old notebook. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to bring someone back — if only for a moment.
By Muhammad Usamaabout a year ago in Families
The Loneliness Epidemic in the Digital Age
In a world buzzing with notifications, video calls, and social media posts, it’s easy to assume that we’re more connected than ever. Our smartphones never leave our side, we chat with friends across the globe, and we can instantly share a photo or thought with hundreds—if not thousands—of followers. Yet, beneath this blanket of digital connectivity, a profound loneliness is quietly spreading, affecting people of all ages, backgrounds, and locations.
By Aiman Shahidabout a year ago in Families
The Last Cup of Tea
The house hadn’t changed. The cracked veranda tiles still sighed under his feet, just as they did when he used to chase after the neighborhood kids. The faded wind chime still hung by the front door, though it no longer sang. Dust lay gently on the windows, as if time itself had exhaled and settled in. Aariz turned the key in the rusted lock. The door opened slowly, creaking like an old memory resurfacing. It had been four months since his mother passed away. He hadn’t come back since the funeral. Couldn’t. Everything in this home reeked of her – her scent, her scolding, her soft humming in the kitchen when she made her famous cardamom chai. Coming back felt like walking into a memory he wasn’t ready to relive. But the lawyer had called. The property needed to be emptied. Sold. It was time. He stepped inside, half expecting to hear her call out his name the way she always did: “Aariz beta, chai thandi ho jayegi!” But the only voice that greeted him was silence — heavy, solemn, and absolute. The living room was untouched. Her shawl still hung on the back of the armchair. Her reading glasses were resting on the open pages of a half-finished Urdu novel. A pair of her slippers peeked out from under the coffee table. Aariz sat down on the couch, closed his eyes, and for a brief moment, pretended she was in the kitchen — that at any second, the whistle of the kettle would sound, and she’d come in carrying a tray of tea and biscuits, smiling through her tired eyes. But there was no kettle. No tea. Just silence. He wandered into the kitchen. The same rusted stove. The same spice rack she refused to replace. A little chalkboard still hung by the fridge, with her last written note: “Aariz will come next week. Must buy his favorite cake.” His chest tightened. He remembered the last phone call — two days before she passed. "Are you eating properly?" "Yes, Ammi." "When are you visiting again?" "Soon, just finishing up work." "Don’t wait too long, beta. Mothers don’t live forever." She had laughed when she said that. He didn’t. She died of a silent heart attack two mornings later. Alone. In this house. With no one to hold her hand. He had arrived too late. The tears came uninvited, hot and bitter, as Aariz stood by the stove and imagined her standing there in her worn-out apron, stirring tea, tasting it with her pinky, then insisting it needed "just one more elaichi." He wiped his face and opened the cabinet. There, neatly arranged, were the teacups they always used. One of them had a tiny chip on the rim — his favorite. He pulled it out, along with her special tea tin. He made the tea slowly, deliberately. He boiled the milk, added sugar the way she did — not too much, just enough. Crushed the cardamom pods the way she taught him. Let it steep just a little longer for the stronger flavor. He poured it into both cups — hers and his. Then he sat across from her empty chair. For a while, he didn’t speak. He just sat there, the cup warming his hands, the steam rising slowly between them like an unfinished goodbye. Then softly, almost brokenly, he whispered: "I’m sorry, Ammi." "I should have come back sooner." "I thought there would be more time." The chair didn’t respond. But the house listened. And somehow, he felt she heard him. When he left later that evening, he didn’t take much — just her shawl, the tea tin, and the chipped teacup. He locked the house gently, like tucking a child into bed. As he walked away, he looked back one last time. The wind chime moved — just slightly — and this time, it rang. Epilogue: Grief doesn’t ask for permission. It arrives when you’re unready, and stays longer than you want. It isn’t loud or dramatic. Sometimes, grief is just a cold cup of tea on the table — untouched, but filled with memories.
By Ikram Ullahabout a year ago in Families
Saudi Arabia Sees Surge in Early Divorces: Sociologists Reveal the Hidden Causes
Saudi Arabia, a country where traditional family values are held in high regard, is facing an unexpected and rising social challenge — the increasing rate of early divorces, often just weeks or months after lavish wedding celebrations. Despite promises of love and commitment, many couples in the Kingdom are separating before even completing their first year together. According to the 2025 report issued by the Saudi Ministry of Justice and the General Authority for Statistics, an average of 157 divorce cases are registered daily across the country. That’s roughly one divorce every 9 minutes. More alarmingly, divorces now account for 12.6% of all marriages in Saudi Arabia, a trend that experts say is both socially and psychologically concerning. Al-Baha Tops the Divorce Charts The report further reveals that the Al-Baha region, located in the southwestern part of Saudi Arabia, recorded the highest divorce rate in the country — with 36% of marriages ending in separation. Following closely are Riyadh with 21.7% and Hail with 19.2%. One particularly eye-opening statistic is that 65% of all divorces occurred within the first year of marriage. This finding strongly suggests that many couples lack compatibility from the start, or are unprepared for the realities of married life. Real-Life Cases: Love Turned Cold Take, for instance, the cases of Fahad Al-Otaibi and Reem Al-Qahtani, whose marriages lasted less than six weeks. Both unions ended over misunderstandings, lack of shared responsibilities, and poor communication. In another case, Ahmed Al-Raythi’s honeymoon became a turning point, not for joy, but for separation. His wife expected a luxurious and highly curated lifestyle, while Ahmed desired a simpler, more grounded life. Their differences, which seemed manageable during courtship, became insurmountable after marriage. These are not isolated stories — they reflect a growing number of couples who enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, often shaped by social media, peer pressure, and idealized romantic fantasies. Sociologist Insights: The Root Causes Prominent Saudi sociologist Dr. Ahmed Al-Najjar has weighed in on the alarming trend. He attributes the rise in divorces to a combination of social, economic, and psychological factors: 1. Excessive Wedding Expenses: Lavish weddings often leave couples (or their families) in significant debt. Once the celebrations are over, financial strain takes a toll on the relationship. 2. Immature Decision-Making: Many young couples rush into marriage without understanding the long-term responsibilities that come with it. Dr. Al-Najjar warns that emotional impulsivity is replacing thoughtful compatibility assessments. 3. Superficial Relationships: Pre-marital interactions, often limited or virtual, don’t provide a deep understanding of the partner’s personality, values, or expectations. 4. Over-involvement of Families: In many cases, extended family interference exacerbates even minor disagreements, especially in traditional households where parents may try to control the marriage. 5. Unrealistic Expectations: A marriage is more than just a celebration. It demands emotional intelligence, communication skills, and mutual respect — qualities that Dr. Al-Najjar says are often underdeveloped. > “Marriage is not just an event; it’s a lifetime partnership,” says Dr. Al-Najjar. “Without conscious effort, patience, and maturity, even the grandest wedding won’t survive the realities of everyday life.” Culture Shift: From Romance to Reality While arranged marriages still exist in Saudi Arabia, there has been a growing trend toward love marriages and self-selected partners, particularly in urban centers like Riyadh and Jeddah. However, this shift has not necessarily decreased divorce rates. In fact, romantic relationships formed without deep understanding may inflate emotional expectations, which later clash with the practical demands of cohabitation. Another emerging challenge is the influence of social media culture. Instagram-perfect weddings, filtered photos of couple goals, and viral videos promoting luxury lifestyles have created false ideals. When real life fails to live up to those illusions, disappointment sets in fast. Legal Developments and Women's Rights Interestingly, Saudi Arabia has also made strides in women’s legal empowerment in recent years, including reforms that now allow women to be notified via SMS when they are officially divorced. This transparency has encouraged many women to stand up for their rights, but it has also contributed to a spike in mutual or initiated divorces by women, particularly when the marriage lacks respect or compatibility. The Ministry of Justice reported over 350,000 divorce cases in one year alone, indicating that the issue is national in scale, not just regional. What Can Be Done? Experts suggest several long-term strategies to address this growing crisis: Pre-marital counseling programs to educate couples on marital roles and expectations. Promoting simpler wedding ceremonies to reduce financial pressure. Encouraging family boundaries, ensuring that newlyweds have space to build their own dynamic. Public awareness campaigns on mental and emotional maturity in marriage. Legal initiatives to streamline conflict resolution and post-divorce counseling for both men and women. Final Thoughts The rising divorce rate in Saudi Arabia, particularly among young couples and newlyweds, is a wake-up call for both individuals and society. It highlights the urgent need for a cultural shift in how marriage is viewed — not as a social milestone or display of wealth, but as a meaningful, lifelong commitment. As sociologists, religious leaders, and policymakers debate the root causes, one truth remains clear: a wedding can last one night, but a marriage demands a lifetime of patience, understanding, and effort.
By Ikram Ullahabout a year ago in Families
Navigating Grief During the Holidays: Local Resources and Strategies
The holiday season, characterized as a happy time, full of unity and festivities, is an emotional time period especially to grievers. Such is the disjuncture between what society expects people to have fun and the individual anguish of bereavement that it seems to be too much. To the people living in Orange County, California, grief management in this period does need the combination of self-love, useful techniques, and connection to the local community support networks such as Grief Counseling Orange County. This paper will present methods people can use to manage grief during the holidays outlining practical solutions, as well as identifying the resources available in the community, to assist them in their healing process.
By Suren Rathoreabout a year ago in Families
