Swedish Death Cleaning: A review of my mother's latest obsession

Two weeks into the first lockdown of last year, a time that would set the tone for the rest of the year, my mother announced she was death cleaning. Specifically, Swedish death cleaning.

Admittedly the declaration didn't throw me all that much, my mother after all is a woman who can find herself at the helm of a new project in her sleep. Previous fads have included jewelry making, sailing, professional foot massage, and yoga. The latter of which has appeared so sporadically in the living room for the past decade it has well and truly earned the title of 'Old Reliable'. Despite all of this, my dear mum's latest semi-cult-like enterprise might be more than it's cracked up to be...

How could we continue if I didn't offer up an explanation of the concept of Swedish death cleaning? Well although it's been prevalent in Swedish society for generations, we can all thank an artist by the name of Margareta Magnusson for bringing it to the forefront of modern de-cluttering. It appears it's just one of those things that has slipped through the net of popular culture, like the weirdest duel in history or that time your aunty turned up to your house with a new boyfriend but you were the only one who seemed to notice.

Margareta seems based placed to explain the concept: "Death cleaning is not about dusting or mopping up. It is about a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly". Basically, it's your run of the mill, everyday clean out, but with an added emphasis on making sure you don't get so cluttered again, all to get your affairs in order before death. This is all described in Magnusson's smash hit book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter, aimed at the older amongst us, the book has found fans of all ages and life stages. Myself included.

It's worth noting that my acceptance of this thing my mum was now suddenly monologuing about at the dinner table was hard-fought and by no means an instant process. But having moved back in with my mum for reasons I'm sure I do not have to explain to many of you, I was able to observe her in her natural habit for the first time in a handful of years.

This latest scheme followed many of the same patterns of undertakings past. Firstly, a sudden compulsion to purchase every single item with any relevance to the topic at hand. This is succeeded by the donation of all her spare time to the cause, volunteering other members of the family to complete arguably more important tasks so the wheels on the fixation train don't come off. This is all finalized in a final, bloody act, a battle where that month's fad marches its way into a major room in the house and cements its place as the new majority stakeholder in that space.

However, like the best vegan burger you've ever had, or the time you dated that person that looked like your ex's twin separated at birth, this time was different... kind of. For example, Mum did buy everything to do with Swedish death cleaning, luckily it was just the aforementioned book that fell through our letterbox. Phase two of the process remained largely unchanged, hold up in her room, my mother advertised smaller items on various social media and to several friends. All of which soon developed into a steady stream of people arriving at our front door and after a socially distant exchange a new space was generated inside and a small amount of money found its way into Mum's pocket. Finally, there was an invasion, however, unlike years gone by, a corner or wall of a room wasn't lost under a collection of barely used items that in time become bitter reminders of enthusiasm gone by. Instead, a conveyor belt of things flowed through the back end of the kitchen as mum plowed into wardrobes, draws, cabinets, and the attic in her hunt for death cleaning fuel.

And in that final phase lies the first of two big differences in this new project, progress. For what felt like the first time, I watched one of my Mum's preoccupations not drain her of all her disposable income, but increase it. For sure it was only a spare pounds here and there, she was mostly shifting jigsaw puzzles and clothes that hadn't seen the light of day since Joe Biden ran for president, the first time.

But more noticeably than the spare change, the spaces that began to appear around the house. It started with draws that had once overflowed with miscellaneous clutter, now opened calmly to reveal the necessary items within. When you opened them wardrobes stopped attacking you with various household objects, forced in there by a family member who you now feel obliged to curse under breath. The arranging of the whole house led to larger spaces too, far more appealing angles of the house emerged. There is no end to studies that claim a tidier environment results in decreased stress, anxiety, and many other undesirable traits. Read the studies if you want, but take my word for it, it's true.

Yet as time went on Mum found herself shifting larger objects, more incumbent items that only when their absence was unveiled did I even stop to question what they were doing there at all. And only now, having watched my mother devote herself to this cause and cleaned almost every conceivable space in the house, I pause to a question. Why?

My mother is not an old woman, for sure she cannot be considered young, but the latter title befits her more. Therefore her uptake of Swedish death cleaning had me perplexed, an activity aimed at the older generation, intent on getting their affairs in order before they leave this place? Was my dear Mum dying, no, I can assure you if my Mum was dying I would have heard about it. I might not have been amongst the first 100 recipients of the news, but it would have found me eventually. So what was it that had spurned her to action?

Was it the act of cleaning and sorting itself? An often tedious and overlooked task left until it simply cannot be left any longer, now conveniently wrapped up in a detailed process and endorsed by thousands globally? Possibly. The sale of so many items and the introduction of room to breathe in our daily lives was certainly refreshing on several fronts. But something seemed... not quite right.

This brings us as far forward as a couple of weeks ago. My copy of the book which kickstarted this whole saga dropped through the letterbox and I was away on my own Swedish death cleaning journey. And then, like a good mathematician or a promising, but ultimately disappointing Sherlock revival, all the pieces fell into place...

Think of SDC, not as a step-by-step guide to de-cluttering your life, stop thinking of yourself at all. Magnusson describes in the book how she has found herself cleaning friend's houses, parent's houses, even her own house after the occupants passed away (her husband passed, she's not some kind of ghost Marie Kondo, I would have led with that I promise you). But the book and the movement grew out of her hope that more people would take it upon themselves to sort through their things, in an act of kindness to the people around you, the people you're likely to leave behind.

In that concept of charity to your children, your partners, your friends, and all those who surround you lies the second big difference this time around. The death cleaning benefitted us all, my mother included, but I hadn't considered its very presence in the house was down to the rest of us. I had unfairly considered this another one of my mother's great attempts to discover herself when she was simply attempting to make my life, the life of my stepfather, and the life of my siblings easier.

And with that, I was converted. I began my own Swedish death cleaning adventure a couple of days later, galvanized by the book and the actions of my parent.

I wrongly considered my teachings from my mother to be over, something we had left in a different section of our lives. But I now see that we are both still learning, both still as clueless as the day we were born, but with an appreciation for one another.

I urge you to consider the intentions of others before you judge their actions, you might just be surprised at what you find...

And clean out that bedside cabinet.