Summa

Dear Summa,

s far back as I can remember I have always been protective of you. I know that is normal big sister instinct. But I hope you never felt like it was because I did not think you could handle things on your own. I know you can. I have seen it. And even myself being five years older than you, I sometimes think you are stronger than me in most ways.

As far back as I can remember I have always been protective of you. I know that is normal big sister instinct. But I hope you never felt like it was because

As far back as I can remember I have always been protective of you. I know that is normal big sister instinct. But I hope you never felt like it was because I did not think you could handle things on your own. I know you can. I have seen it. And even myself being five years older than you, I sometimes think you are stronger than me in most ways.



But with all the trauma we had growing up I know it was hard on you. Maybe not in the same way as it was on Jessie, or on me. You were too young to understand what was going on around you. Too young to know why mum and dad fought, why Michael left, why our once colourful world turned into years of darkness. It is one thing to be in the brunt of it, which I was. Another to be so young trying to figure out what was happening. Regardless, you were the little bit of Summer we always needed.

I remember always waiting at your classroom for you when the home bell rang, so that you did not walk anywhere alone. I remember sitting next to you on the school bus and not letting anyone pick on you. As we grew up you started to understand more about why our lives were the way they were. But that did not stop you being you.

You got older and I watched my little sister go from playing with barbie dolls to having your own life, hanging with friends, and getting a job. I still stayed protective, always worrying what crowd you were hanging with and who you were dating. But I was always proud of your decisions. Proud of who you were becoming.

Your personality has always been reserved. You play it off like nothing bothers you, and you are so laid back. But inside I can sometimes see you struggling, hurting, trying to make sense of the world. I hope you know it is okay to feel what you need to feel. I will always support you, just like you always support me. When I come to you in tears because of another broken heart, you are always there encouraging me to be strong, to be okay, to know I am loved and worthy of so much more.

I always felt like things were a little easier on you then me. You were in a long-term relationship; you were living your life. Then one day you came out as bisexual. Granted you did not come out in your own time, I accidentally outed you to our parents. Which we continue to laugh about to this day.

I know it was hard for you facing that. The way our parents were raised meant they were somewhat closeminded to the idea, dad especially. I know it effected your relationship with him. But please know that even when you were not talking to him, I was. And he was always proud of you. And eventually he came around. Now he even treats your girlfriend like more of a daughter than he does to us. Over time, the hurt healed and we became a family again.

I am sure there will be many more hurtles, struggles and challenges ahead of you in life, trust me, I have been there. But if there is anyone that can get through it, it is you.

You are strong, beautiful, and so caring to the people you love. I hope you never forget how important a piece you play in my life, and our family. You are a badass woman with so much going for you. And as dad always told us growing up there is no such words as ‘I cannot’, and you can do anything you put your mind to.

I love you little sister. Keep being the Sunshine we all need on a rainy day.