Stop Abusing Your Kids

If this article is relevant to you, I ask only that you read it to the end. This is a subject that I'm incredibly passionate about, and I think it's important to educate people so that we can move forward and begin to implement much-needed reform.

A new study emerged from Harvard University this week that explores the effects of spanking on brain development in children. Unsurprisingly, spanking was found to cause many of the same problems as more severe forms of violence and abuse.

This isn't old news.

For years, researchers have been studying the long-term effects of hitting kids, and the results have remained consistent: It's all bad.

Corporal punishment, no matter how minimal, stymies brain development, increases aggressive tendencies, and instills damaging life lessons that ultimately cause more harm than good. Bottom line: spanking in any form is abuse.

In many places, action has been taken to protect children from this maltreatment. The United Nations has come out strongly in opposition to physical forms of discipline, with the Committee on the Rights of the Child defining corporal punishment as “any punishment in which physical force is used and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light." More than fifty countries have banned corporal punishment in recent decades.

Unfortunately, the United States has been slow to adapt, and many in this country are dead set on continuing the tradition of hitting their kids. It's their God-given right as parents. 'Murica.

Here's my message:

Stop. Hitting. Your. Kids.

Please.

I cannot stress this enough. Your "light swat on the butt" is causing literal brain damage to your children, whether you want to acknowledge the science behind it or not.

And it. Doesn't. Even. Work.

Studies have consistently shown that there are no proven benefits to corporal punishment. It doesn't actually teach kids anything constructive; it simply conditions them to distrust and fear the people hurting them. It may get the results parents want in the short term, but the lasting effects and overall message that it sends are overwhelmingly negative.

"My parents spanked me, and I turned out alright."

No, you turned into an adult who thinks it's okay to hit defenseless children.

It's immature (and illegal) to hit another adult. It demonstrates a lack of self-control and an inability to problem-solve in a calm and rational manner. Why, then, would it be acceptable to hit someone whose brain isn't even fully developed?

Think about all of the adults who frustrate, anger, or aggravate you. Think about all the people you'd love to just punch in the face.

Know why you don't?

Because it's battery. And because as an adult member of civilized society, you've been forced to find mature, constructive ways of communicating and handling your frustration. You don't need to hit someone to gain their respect or cooperation. And it's pointless and cruel to hit someone who can't even process your reason for doing so.

It is not a parent's right to physically assault a child when they annoy, disobey, or disrespect them. If there's anything Matilda taught me, it's that parents can be wrong, and children shouldn't be belittled or terrorized into blind obedience.

Corporal punishment is a denial of children's personhood and a deprivation of their basic rights. It's an infringement of bodily autonomy. It teaches kids that there are scenarios in which it is okay for another person to violently lay their hands on them (and for them to violently lay their hands on someone else). There aren't.

It's natural to stick to what we know. Many people feel that harsher forms of discipline were effective and even beneficial to them. You might believe that corporal punishment works, and you may not see the negative implications of it in yourself or those around you.

But the data is clear, and we should be listening to child development experts, not basing our opinions on personal experience and anecdotal evidence.

Do your own research. Self-reflect. Is corporal punishment a necessary element of your parenting? Do you believe the science proving the detrimental effects of this form of discipline? Is that science compelling enough to convince you to change your behavior?

If you employ corporal punishment tactics, please consider alternative methods of teaching. Your relationships with your children will improve, their brain development will be safeguarded, and it will give you the opportunity to impart more constructive, positive messages about how to handle difficult situations.

And please consider supporting reform efforts. All 50 states allow corporal punishment in the home, and more than a dozen still permit educators to physically discipline students in public schools. Americans' determination to preserve their "right" to hit children is a pointless demonstration of our refusal to learn, adapt, and move forward as a country.

Children are the final punching bags of society, the only people we are permitted by law to dehumanize and abuse without consequence. They are voiceless and depend entirely on us to educate ourselves, speak up in their defense, and vigorously fight for their rights. It is imperative that we do so.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, check out my other stories!