Step parents, Hero's on Call

When my mother and father first divorced I adjusted to it in a strange way. My dolls in my dollhouse never had the dad, he always lived in a shoe box or on a shelf in my closet. Other than that I was fine with adjusting to having to go to my fathers every other weekend and only having a stuffed dog and a box of crayons at his house. But my mother told me something when I got older that I thought was strange and a little sweet. I never wanted my mom to marry again because I thought that meant they would leave us. Now I know that is common for young children to assume. My mother ended up with this man who later became my step dad and like most step parents, you don't truly see them for how amazing they can be until you're grown up.

So what's it like being a step parent? My mother told me it is one of the hardest things she's ever done and she was right! I had a short experience being one and it was like trying to put together a puzzle without a picture. You love the child so easily, but the child has been through so much. You have to earn their trust and love. So how do you do that? Try to hard and you fail and you won't have a second chance. Buy their love and you loose all their respect. So the best thing to do is just take your time and just be their friend, let everything fall into place naturally.

I look back at my experience with my step father, who was the greatest I could ask for. I think, he must've been a pro. How could I not love him? Growing up he did everything right. We played slug bug, he threw me into the pool, even wrote me letters pretending to be Santa. He pierced my barbies ears with his drill lol! He was kind too. One day on our street a little boy got his head stuck between the bars surrounding the community pool. He actually pulled them apart enough for the boy to be pulled free, the mother and the fire department called him a hero. And he was.

But as I got older I was a snobby teenager that didn't care about anything. Not school, not family and not anyone's feelings. But one day some girls came to my house threatening me and he was there for me. He found their houses and told them to never come back. He threatened boyfriends. He cared about my grades. He did everything. He was the dad I needed growing up. We never truly know how great they are until we're older. He was a pro at being a step parent. That's why I named my son after him.

My mother was a step parent too. She was a STEP UP parent because they needed her. She wasn't sure what to do, so she did what she did best. She saw the situation and she didn't run from it. She loved my brother and sister like her own. She made sure they did their homework, took baths every night and ate right. She didn't even realize it but she was and awesome mom. After I came along my parents divorced and you would think that would be it. But she never stopped loving them unconditionally. In fact everyday she loved them more and more. Now, 35 years later they still call her mom, and their children call her grandma. What a bonus! Who would have thought just a couple of years of just being a good person and loving some children would bring so much joy to your life!

But it doesn't always happen that way. One day I became a step parent. I had no idea what to do. Oh my was I lost. Luckily the little boy was young enough to see me as another playmate instead of a potential maternal figure. Eventually built a bond and earned his trust and it was wonderful. But sadly, his father and I split up. So I had the pain of loosing him. Like having a child taken from me. You get so attached, you raise them and watch them grow and then poof! They're gone. I tried seeing him on weekends after the split, but its just not the same when its not your child. But I know we will always have that special step parent/step child bond. And I will always cherish our time together.

Sadly that happens. However, it is something special to see a step parent bond grow. I'm talking about my current boyfriend and my young son. I watch them play video games together. My son will share his chicken nuggets with him and give him hugs. I see them being buddies and I know that they're on the right track to a good relationship.

Step parents are amazing. They make a huge impact on our lives and we can't live without them. My tip for you is to remind them that they are amazing and how much they have impacted your life. If you enjoyed this and would like to leave a tip for me or subscribe please click the bottom.