Stay Little Baby Boy

As you lay in your cherry red pyjama bottoms and a white, long-sleeved t-shirt adorned with dinosaurs, you sleep.

I watch in amazement as a smile passes across your face. A reflex smile, but a smile none the less and I still can't believe we made you.

It's been three months since you entered the world, but it feels like yesterday that I had the chance to hold you for the very first time.

Being your mummy isn't easy. It isn't easy for any of us, we just make it look like it is.

From sleep deprivation, to baby blues, to post partum depression and the unspoken of fourth trimester, it's hard work but those smiles that pass across your flawless milky skin make it all the while worth it.

I sit and wonder what kind of man you'll grow up to be.

Social I imagine, particularly since you've been talking and babbling with us since you were a mere 11 weeks old.

We caught your first words on camera. Slow and steadily, you said he-llo and it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen.

You'll have to get a wrap on that short temper of yours too. You're almost rolling over. You can't quite make it from your side to your front and you get so angry and frustrated trying but none-the-less, you keep trying until you're exhausted.

You're determined, that's for sure.

People tell us that we got really lucky with you. I talk about sleep deprivation but that's more so because I havent had the chance to catch up from the nights you were up two hourly when you were days old. You're a fantastic sleeper. From midnight through until 8am, you'll doze and through the day, you nap frequently as you grow.

You're so content too. The only time you ever really cry is if you're trying to communicate with us and we very quickly got used to knowing your sounds. You cry when you're hungry, tired or need a nap. The only other time you'll cry out, it's less than a cry and more so a shout. You tend to do that when you're bored or lonely. You're only 15 weeks old, and mummy's already feeling the pressure to give you a sibling. Growing up with your four uncles, I can't imagine how your life would be as an only child.

You're growing really well. Born 5lb 13oz, you're now a whopping 13lb. You always feed well and I feel like everytime we up your milk, we need to do it again only two weeks later. You're a foodie like your mummy, without a doubt. You've never lost any weight either which the doctors say is really uncommon.

You did have colic briefly, and the frustration mummy went through to get the doctors and the Health Visitor to listen was hard. They never did hear me out.

"The signs just aren't there"

Those signs were all there at 6am and 11pm. I'm sorry it took so long for mummy to brave the decision to change your milk without medical support but I'm so glad we did. Two days into having changed your milk to something more suitable and we had gotten our happy boy back again.

One day, maybe when you're a lot, lot older... we'll have a conversation like this and I'll tell you all about it.

But for now, I'm just going to continue to stare at you in amazement, wonder and with an obsurd amount of love that I wasn't aware was possible until we met.

I'm sitting here wondering what kind of man you'll grow up to be but in all honesty, It can wait. If not for the chance to cuddle and love you as much as I can and as much as you need until one day, you don't need me anymore.

But we'll get there when we get there.

Stay little baby boy. Just for now okay?