Starting Over- In My 40's

Your Twenties are normally when you become an adult, with bills, starting a family, and having your own place. I was married for the first time at age 19 and again at age 23. It wasn’t until I met my now husband, when I was 28 that life finally started to click, but due to medical issues, I couldn’t work. 

If you have read any of my other “Stories,” you may know I have dealt with many medical issues. However, so you don’t have to read all that, 

LIFE IN FASTFOWARD

2006 - diagnosed with stage 2 endometriosis

2007- had my daughter

2010- second endometriosis surgery

2016 - My husband and I are living with my parents.

2018- ectopic pregnancy

2020- Son born

2021- doctors put me on new meds for endometriosis

2022- start a job and actually keep to it ( still there now)

2022-now - Tons of weight loss

2025- We finally get an apartment 

After getting into better shape and being able to hold down a job, I decided it was time to move out of my parents' house. My endometriosis was no longer the nuisance it once was, and I was feeling better. My husband had been working and supporting us while we were living with my parents. I wanted to be in my own place with my husband. 

Since moving out of my parents' house, I feel almost like a young adult starting life for the first time. Even though I am in my 40’s and my husband is in his late 30’s, we still struggle with things young adults do. Budgeting is a big one. We have had to rewrite our budget so many times, Ive lost count. One unexpected expense can throw the rest of the month off. After a little over a year, things are finally starting to fall into place. If I am being completely honest, we still reach out to my parents here and there for help. My grandma still wants to help us out, because we both work really hard. I sometimes work over 14 hours a day, and we are still paycheck to paycheck. We don’t have any savings yet, but we are getting better at having money left over. The most we have had to reach out to my parents for is for gas money. 

We weren’t the only ones staying with my parents. Both my adult brother and sister have had some struggles and live at home. With so many adults living in the house, child care was easier. We mostly have to have our teens help us out with our youngest. We just make sure they still have a life, and if they want to make plans, we adjust. When I lived with my parents, someone was always available to help. Living paycheck to paycheck means we cannot afford childcare, and we make too much to receive assistance. Most of the time, my husband and I are going to work on barely any sleep. But we still manage. 

A big change is house cleaning and the placement of furniture. We now don’t just have one room to worry about. We have a whole apartment that is nearly as big as my parents' house. We are still collecting furniture. It definitely is harder to keep the place clean when we are both working, but on my days off, I am normally resetting the apartment. 

It’s no joke taking care of a family. You have medical bills, electricity, and school to worry about. I stress daily because my 5-year old will be six in October, and we are still having issues with potty training. (Doctor says he’s fine). These are the times I miss living with my parents.                                               

 Luckily, we do have a bit of experience from our past relationships. My husband and I get along pretty well. Fighting doesn’t happen much, and when it does, it’s nothing major. This makes having our own place amazing. Alone time is something every couple needs, and being able to have our own place allows us to connect more. I am noticing that even though we have never really had many issues with arguments, we definitely love having our own place. 

 Overall, I would say, even though we are struggling from time to time. We are still happy. But starting life over at the age of 40 is hard. I have been very fortunate to have the family I do.