Sorrow to Hope

For the first time in several decades, the door of the old barn was straining under the force of someone trying to push it open. A low groan was uttered in protest. The man continued to push. The barn continued to object. The power struggle lasted for quite a while before the door gave way slowly. Light swarmed into the open spaces of the interior, filling all it touched with warmth. Dust and small critters panicked, darting here and there as they looked for a new place to be left in peace.

The man stood in the doorway, light still pouring in around him. He glanced in all directions, shifting his focus from one side to the other. He only moved forward after being joined by a petite woman who ran up behind him with a squeal, “Oh! You’ve got the barn opened!” He grabbed her by the waist as she tried to push past him, “Be careful. I’m sure there are snakes and all sorts of dangerous things in here.” She popped a kiss on his cheek then took his hand as they entered the barn together.

A couple. A real couple. People haven’t been here in decades. I assumed I would eventually decay and fall down. No one has cared about me in such a long time that I had given up. I have already begun to sag under the pressure of my own weight and lifelessness. Time had not been kind. Everything was rusty. My wood was cracking from the constant swelling and shrinking brought on by the changing weather around me. I was red once, bright beautiful red. Now, most of the red had peeled away to uncover the greying wood beneath. 

The old barn tried to straighten herself up. She prayed for a strong wind to blow through to mask the smell of her stale interior. She hoped for a refreshing breeze that had passed through the field outside, bringing the sweet smell of honeysuckle with it. She could not understand everything the couple was saying, but the excitement from the woman and the gleam in the man’s eyes made her hopeful. They seemed happy, she thought. She couldn’t help but hope. It had been such a long time since she had any reason to hope.

The old barn remembered when she was filled with the noises of life. Sheep, horses, a cow. There had been so many chickens she could never keep count. All that remained now were the snakes and the rats. They were quiet, creepy little creatures, but at least they still gave her some purpose. A long time ago she was a protector. Babies were born under her roof. She stood firm in the most traitorous storms. She never slept. There was a constant hum of activity. Men, women, animals, and children. 

The children were her favorite! There were always so many children. They would sneak up to her hayloft and hide. They would climb and jump and play. She never understood their silly games, but she knew she was a pivotal part of what happened. She had loved it. Could this couple see what I once was, she wondered? She wished she could tell them the stories of the many amazing things that had happened right where they stood. These were stories she would have to keep for herself, unfortunately. There was no way to communicate the things she had experienced; and no way to tell her history.

Her mind continued to drift off as she remembered the bitterness of winter. She had stood strong despite the cruel winds whipping around her. Of course, the bite of cold would sneak in through all her cracks, but she had tried her best to keep it as warm as she could inside. The mothers would bring their young close, burrow down in the hay, and close their eyes peacefully. Without her, what would they have done? She was their refuge.

Summer was another story. It was sweltering inside. She begged those same winds to bring relief. The mothers would wander out during the day, usually to the shaded little creek outback. They would casually watch their young splash and play. She always smelled strongly of hay in the summers. It just roasted in the rafters, a most pleasant smell. At night they always meandered back inside the safety of her walls. The doors would be closed. No predator had ever breached inside, despite all the howling and growling.

Every day the young ladies had come to gather the eggs from the chickens. She remembered what a fuss some of those chickens had made. They would squawk and ruffle their feathers, just as offended as they could be. It did not matter. The eggs would always be tucked away safely in aprons, or on rarer occasions, a pocket or two. The next day there were always more eggs. Now and then, a rather smart mama hen would find a more secret place to hide her eggs. The old barn loved the secret layers. It always meant eventually there would be the cute peeps of tiny chicks. The chicks always appeared so soft, silly, and delightfully tiny!

Slowly the children had grown up. They became men. The play was gone, but the work wasn’t. She was always cared for because she was important. The men and the women were constantly cleaning, fixing, and changing her to suit what they needed. A fresh coat of paint nearly every single year, keeping her bright and safe from the weather. Any time a board sagged or broke, it was replaced. She was never alone, in those days. Something changed though. It happened so slowly, but one by one, little by little, the men and the animals just… left. She was abandoned. It hurt so much. It was confusing. How could she be so important, then completely unnecessary and alone?

Until today.

“I knew you would love it.”

“Love it?! It is PERFECT!! I can’t believe you managed to find such a treasure! How old do you think it is? Oh! The boys are going to love it! And this little one,” she said as she gently touched her growing waistline.

He came around behind her, slowly wrapping his arms around her waist. With one hand he swept her hair to the side, leaned in, and began leaving a trail of kisses on her neck.

“Anything for you”, he whispered into her ear.

She laughed, turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re going to get in trouble talking like that.”

“I’m not sure how much more trouble I can get into. I’m already in a wife, 4 and a half kids: now I’m about to be in a whole farm.”

“I can think of a few ways”, she said coyly, looking around the barn.

“Maybe next time,” he laughed, pushing her back. “We have to call the realtor.”

He grabbed her hand and coaxed her back out through the open door. She kept commenting and pointing to different features she had noticed. He would laugh and tell her to come on. After, what felt like no time at all, they were gone.

The door was left ajar and through it, you could see the couple leaving. She was practically bouncing to the car. He opened the door for her, accepting the playful kiss she planted on the tip of his nose. After he tucked her safely in, he calmly went around to the driver’s side, got in, and drove off. Then the couple was gone. 

The barn let herself settle again. There was almost an audible sigh as she let go. It was over so quickly. She frantically tried to remember everything that had happened in the short time the couple had been there. Was it real? Maybe she had made the whole thing up? But no. The door was ajar. It had to be real. Would they be back? Loneliness gripped her heart. How long had she sat in this field, wishing for purpose again? Should she let herself hope? 

The sky interrupted her thoughts with an angry clap. Almost immediately everything was drenched and dripping. The sky did not relent. The sun was gone, the noise was deafening, and the temperature dropped from cool to cruel. The barn was lamenting over this unwelcome storm when a deer cautiously peered her head in through the open door. She smelled. Paused. Looked. Then carefully entered. Behind her followed two tiny fawns. They were shivering, wet, and cold. The mama found a pile of old horse blankets that had been left behind and had become a delicious little treat for the rats. The little family curled up together and fell asleep.

The barn swelled with pride. Today had been quite the day. I guess there is always a reason to hope, she thought as she felt the rain run through her cracks. The wind whipped all around, pushing and pulling her old frame. It no longer bothered her. She settled with contentment and hope. She watched the little deer family, safe from the weather, resting peacefully. She remembered the happy couple and had an overwhelming feeling they just might be back. The weather outside was still raging, but inside it felt as cozy as it could. She felt the swell of hope rising. Why not, she thought? There was always a reason to hope.