Society's View On Moms

Today's society is extremely harsh on mothers. Every single thing she does is judged and frowned upon. She tries to do what she feels is right for her children and everyone around her is whispering and voicing their opinion about her parenting choices.

A mother works full-time and she doesn't spend enough time with her child. She stays at home and she's too lazy. She needs to be working. If she has a baby at a young age she's making a mistake. If she has a baby when she's older, she's too old to be having kids. If the dad steps away she's a bitter baby momma who shouldn't keep the baby from the father - when she isn't and the father refuses to see him. If she keeps the baby away from the father when he is a threat to the child, she's a liar.

When does it stop? Where is the in-between? When do we stop judging mothers and start congratulating them? Yes, not all mothers have their children's best interests at heart. There are some bad mothers out there, but that doesn't mean that every mother is bad.

Being a parent is hard enough. Fathers get excused for mistakes they make all the time, but a mother doesn't. Why is that? She's trying her best all while getting rude comments and remarks about how she chooses to parent. Many don't realize how depressing it can be until it's happening to them.

It's even worse when it's coming from someone you thought would be happy for you. Especially when they're in your family. I, personally am dealing with the backlash of my father. I had my daughter when I was 19 years old. I had my own place, I had a running car, and a job. I broke the news to my family one by one and everyone was excited and happy for me, except for my dad. I would send him pictures and updates and he would never respond back to me, but instead would say negative things to my sister about the whole situation.

My dad came to the hospital to visit right before I gave birth and came back after I was in recovery to hold my daughter. That was the only time he's ever held her, spoke to her, or even attempted to see her. My daughter is currently almost 15 months old.

I pushed all of that aside and told my dad in person during Christmas dinner that I was expecting baby #2. He began shaking his head and responded rudely with, "Good for you, I guess."

That hurt my feelings a lot, but I can't make him want a relationship with my children and I won't. In the end, it just hurts my feelings more than anything.

The point is there's always a reason for someone to judge us as mothers. Whether it's a valid reason or not. We will never have enough things or be successful enough for people to not say mean things to us or others around us. As a mother, we will always have this harsh view around us all the time. When will that change? When will it get better for us?

Stop shaming mothers for how they choose to feed. Babies need to eat too. Whether it be by breast or formula. Don't tell a mother to "cover up," when she has to feed her baby in public. Don't tell a mother that she's horrible for not breastfeeding when she pulls out the formula. Sometimes mothers can't breastfeed for medical reasons. You don't know her story, and even if you do and she chose formula over the breast, don't shame her for it.

Moms get all kinds of backlash when they complain. Oh, you're tired - well, shouldn't have spread your legs. Oh, your child is throwing tantrums and you're losing your cool - be a better parent. No matter what she complains about it will always be looked at and judged. Parenting is hard. A mother is still a human and is still allowed to complain and have feelings. Her feelings should never be invalidated.

If a mother says she doesn't want any more kids after having one she's insane and should at least think about a sibling for their child. If she starts trying for another one she's also insane because it's too soon or it'll be too hard for her.

When a mom is pregnant her belly is admired, but once she gives birth she's expected to lose the belly as soon as possible otherwise people call her stomach gross. Why should it be gross? It housed a whole human being and grew said human being for nine months. The woman's body should be glorified, not shamed for growing a child.

Mothers are also not expected to have a life away from their children. She steps away for a weekend without her child and she's shunned. She should be home taking care of her children 24/7, right? Wrong. Mothers deserve a break every once in a while. Being a mother full time on top of everything else she might be dealing with is hard work. Just because she takes a night or a weekend away while the child is with her spouse or even other family members shouldn't be an issue.

Stop shaming mothers for ridiculous reasons. If that mother isn't harming or neglecting her child then leave her alone. Don't tell her how she should parent her children. Don't tell her it gets worse. Tell her about the good times and encourage her. You can give her good advice without criticizing her. Help her out because she's already judging herself for every little thing she does. Support her and make her feel better about herself and her parenting. Don't belittle her. If you can't say anything nice to her or to others about how she does things, then keep it to yourself. We live in a very judgemental world nowadays and it needs to be filled with more positivity.