Simply Complicated

I have been gone from writing for months now. Even though I started a 8-5 job, I wanted to write. I just couldn't type because I had to have some major hand surgery. My life was nothing but a challenge from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed. Working through life with one hand isn't a walk in the park. Actually, I did do more walking in the parks than I have in years so that is a plus.

I once wrote about the action that caused my demise. I will repete it again here. I flicked a kid on the back of their head. That small action caused a big injury. Years ago, I could have done the same thing and I was always fine. I have to be real now, I guess, because I injure easier with age. Yes, I have heard this statement before but I hate that that truth was the major cause for the forced rest.

I went back to read the other story and I chucked. I thought I was dealing with Boxer knuckle. After the six weeks, the braced came off and it was obvious there was another problem. The boxer knuckle treatment healed but there was another issue. The band that hold the tendon in place tore. The condition of my hand was more serious than the Dr. thought it was.

January until August is the duration so far. Eight months seems extreme to me to get the proper treatment. I felt I was played with. I felt my medical treatment wasn't correct. When I came out of the finger splint, I should have been scheduled for surgery then. Nope, I was told to "Tape the fingers together to train the middle finger to stay in place." Yep, I spent a month with tape. Then I went back and I was subjected to physical therapy. Another 6 weeks. Months of "doing what I was told to do." and I still had to have surgery.

To be honest, I really am considering suing. The Doctor never did any x-rays nor scans. I had to cut my two jobs down to one. I could barely drive yet alone deliver fast food or groceries. I know I do not need to Doordash or Uber but the work is honest work and it pays well. Not to mention I get to drive around and see the beautiful sites of Northern Michigan. The loss in wages has been noticed. Was it truely medical malpractice? Sad that I am considering asking that question to a lawyer.

Anyways, I really had some wake up calls this time around. I really needed help navigating life with one hand. I was not prepared for the recovery. Two days, I was blessed with a pain blocker that numbed my whole arm. I am thankful I didn't hurt but the unstopible flying club in the form of a cast landing on my face in the middle of the night wasn't good. I actually gave myself a fat lip because of it. I never knew where it was because the sling was unreliable. The thing would slip right off and let my arm out. I would have to find it and lug it up with the other hand. It was clear that I was in trouble.

The timing was a blessing. The surgery took place right before the 4th of July so I was able to enjoy family time for the first time in many years. My daughter had to help me dress and bathroom so I stayed with her. This gave us the opportunity to enjoy the day together. I laid and rested in a hammock with my grand babies watching a Disney movie. While a picnic was tended to and enjoyed at our leisure. When the darkness began to creep, we wandered into a clearing to watch the fireworks. The grandbabies oo'ed and awed at the bright exploding lights. Then we went home to rest. I guess that shows a few other blessings as well.

The holiday was done and I had to return home because I had to return to work that Monday. In my position, I do not have a 90 day probationary period, I was required to complete 120 day probationary period. In order to have the surgery day off, I had to work longer days and a few hours in the weekend to flex out the day. I still had days left on my probationary period so I had to go back into the office and work like nothing had happened.

Now, I knew I wouldn't be able to type so I did prepare for one handed living. I bought slip on shoes, pull over bras, pull up pants and a headset with a microphone so I could do voice to text. I even practiced the commands I would need to work flawlessly at work. I was ready for this moment. I was prepared.

Okay, I really thought I was ready to go to work. I really did. In reality, I cried that morning. I couldn't open my medication bottles. I couldn't brush my hair yet alone braid it. I could barely pull on my clothes that morning. Then, starting the car with my left hand was awful. I had to lean way to the right to reach around the wheel to the ignition. The rib cramps would take my breath away. Now, I do not recommend driving with a cast. I had to do it but I had to drive like a granny around curves and turns. By the time I got to work I was a scarecrow mess. My staff just looked and couldn't believe I was there.

Oh, I was there. I had my headset on and my command sheets at a grab and I was ready to begin my day. Then the first piece of paper was placed infront of me. It required my signature. I hadn't thought about that. Let me say right now, that my left hand is the dumbest appendege ever. Max, my archivist, couldn't stop smiling and choking back laughter as my kindergarten handwriting skills came into full front. I swear, my staff was find things for me to sign just for thier entertainment. Then, the headset works well for many task but I am awful at dication. I stop, pause to choose the right word, then start again only to find I have typed half fragmented sentences that I had to go back and fix. It was a very frustrating first day and first week but I was there.

In the previous paragraph, I mentioned that left hand wasn't very skilled at all. Feeding myself was an issue. I had to wear shirts that I could stain or wouldn't show a stain. I knew by the end of the day, left had would paint my shirt with something tasty. At the Edler's lunch-in, other people had to cut up my food. My situation was very real. I felt very vulnerable. Yet, I was very cared for and looked after. Now, I can say, my left had has become very skillful in the things it can do.

Now, this grandma can not go very long without seeing her grandbabies. I use to have them come over to my house, spend the night feasting and playing, resting and returning home to mom the next day. After the surgery, that couldn't happen. I couldn't cook, change a diaper, open their sippies and plain old play around with them. So, I would spend the weekend with them. Mom and dad did the duties and I got the snuggles and light play with the babies. I try to say, "Maddox misses me." excuse, but I really do need time with those babies.

One thing that was an issue. A personal issue. Not being able to work on the road is not good for my wellbeing. I find it interesting what I do glean from dashing. I have realize that traveling around is a form of medicine for me. driving around in nature feeds my soul. I find feeding people is something I enjoy doing. Being the "Hangry Hero" is fun. People are so happy to see you they forget their hangries. So, my daughter made me an honorary passenger princess. All I did was ride around and help by sitting with the kids as she ran inside the stores. I would get to see some of my old friends I delivered to. this lifted my spirits. I hadn't realized how social I was when I was dashing. I got to know some people and I missed them too. I just wasn't prepared for the loss.

One of the bummer points to dashing is the slow times. My daughter used that time to allow the kids to play at parks. I would always watch the side roads for small little parks for the kids to stretch their legs and run off the candy grandma snuck into the car. Gotta love those gas station stops. I shop like an unsupervised kid with a lot of money at those stops. The slow times are needed so we too can have some fun together and burn off the treasure trove of goodies.

Another plus side to this forced down time is the fact that I have been able to increase Hammock time. I was so relived to find I was able to get in and out of my hammock. Instead of changing clothes and heading to dash, I am able to head down to the water front for a nice long rest. I hardly ever have to rush off or cut my time off for dinner rush. This down time has had many good attributes to it.

Now that the cast is off and I have been through a few supportive braces, I am able to write again. No more headset unless I want to use it. I have a full working finger again. It still swells and it is still a little sore but it is finally useable. It has been a trying time but I was blessed in many ways this summer.

Thanks for taking time to read my ramblings. It feels good to write again. I made it through a rough time this year and I am thankful that everything has turned out okay. My life was simplified and complicated at the same time. When life was spinning, I had support. I am truely blessed.