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Simpler Times

To growing up fast.

By Stephanie WoldPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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Distant siblings, 1998

Something I miss are the simpler times in life. The times where my brother, Jessie, and I would had mud fights in the front yard, or when we would go on spider hunts and tape spiders to the wall for fun - because what five year olds weren't a little psycho. The simpler time in my life where I only had to worry about what the weather was going to be like the next day, or what I was going to eat for lunch. Or the times in my life where I was so happy and loving life that I didn’t let anything get me down except when my parents wouldn’t let me go out on a school night.

As I look back on my life and the past 15 years, the times that were hard then and most crucial, those days wouldn’t even put a dent in my life now. If my parents said they couldn’t watch my little man while I go out on a lunch date with a friend or a date night with my husband, I wouldn’t even care. Only if I could go back and tell that Stephanie that all these little things that I made big deals out of, wouldn’t even matter in just a few short years.

Now that I’m a mom, I’ve learned so many things in a matter of six years. Not just things about babies and toddlers, but life lessons that are so important to learn growing up.

Now I must say, I didn’t grow up when I learned that I was pregnant with Jake, or when he finally came into this world, but more like when I was between the ages of seven and eight. My mother wasn’t capable of being a mother and that’s when my grandparents had to take me in. During the duration of living with my mother, I had missed crazy amounts of school, I was responsible to cook dinner, I had to make sure she was well taken care of because she was too doped up on her fixings. It seemed never ending and thank the Lord for my grandparents coming in when they did. They took me under there wing at age 11 and raised me from there on out.

I had to learn to take care of other people before myself, I had to learn to make food and know the emotions of other people by their expressions. I had to experience multiple times, different men coming and going from our apartment. I had to grow up without a father and deal with the fact that he was in jail. I had to experience being dragged to parties so my mom could do her thing. These were the worst times in my life that were supposed to be my childhood. I didn’t know this either at the time. I didn’t know that there is actually this thing called “childhood” and I was supposed to be enjoying it.

Now that I’m 28, I think I’m supposed to miss the times when I was a kid and my fun childhood 'memories'. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely some thanks to my grandparents, but far too many sad times to even remember the fun ones.

So what I miss are the times when I was in High School on the Leadership team, and having my first quote on quote 'boyfriend' in 7th grade. I miss the fun football games I went to every other Friday night and going over to my neighbors house and playing with her kids. My brother and I were so close with her, it’s like she was our second mom. These were my simpler days and these were my 'childhood' memories I miss and was finally enjoying at age 16. My girlfriends coming over to spend the night and getting ready for homecoming. Taking that hour drive to Seattle Center every New years Eve to watch the space needle glow up with fireworks. These are the moments I lived for, and will always be held by my heart. They remind me on the daily that life can be so twisted, cruel, and unfair, but some day…your day will come. Life may be backwards sometimes, but your time will come.

Your day will come where you’re so happy and not a problem in your world could bring you down. Where you feel like you can conquer the world with nothing but a smile on your face. The day where you will feel so happy that you will be walking the streets with complete euphoria. Whether that day is your wedding day, or the day you bring your first newborn home, or maybe a second, or it could be the day you aced your Chem final that you had been dreading for weeks. Or maybe it’s the day you finally find yourself somewhere deep and lost from all the negativity from this world. Regardless of what it may be, I promise you, your day will come.

These times that I’ve spent looking back on my 28 years of life feeling like I’m already some old hag, I sit here and laugh at myself because I know I’m finally happy and content with myself. Maybe it will take you longer to realize that your happiness is what will bring you the most joy, but these past few years have changed my life in so many ways. If I had the chance, I wouldn’t go back and change anything even though my childhood was non existent. I learned my lessons and now I know what is important in my life and what my priorities are.

And that couldn’t be anymore of an awesome feeling.

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Stephanie Wold

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