Silly Lilly the lovely Lab

For a long, long time I was certain that I would never have a dog to call my own. I grew up around dogs and loved dogs, but I didn't get my very own dog until I was in 3rd grade at the age of 9. I had loved my mother's dogs - Oggie and Butchie, but it was Leo the Chow Chow that I fell in love with because he was MY dog. I was responsible for him. A 9-year-old girl can love a pet with all her heart, but that doesn't mean she has any control over the pet's fate or her own. After I had learned that lesson nursing my broken 10-year-old heart for not having Leo anymore, I was certain that I would never have my own dog again --- that I would never give my heart like that again to another dog. I had cats instead. Cats didn't break my heart. They were too independent for such folly.

It was around the end of 2013 when I started talking about wanting a dog. One year had passed since I had lost my mother who left me the day after Christmas. The holidays just seemed like they would never be special again. How could I face any future Christmas without Mrs. Claus? What reason did I have to get excited for any holiday without little children to shop for, to cook for, or make the magic with? I thought maybe a dog could give back to my heart what it was lacking. I thought maybe since I was 42 years old and over thirty years had passed since I lost my dear Leo, that I should be ready to love a dog again and be a good, responsible pet owner. The cats never hated me so I figured that was a good sign.

I didn't have a lot of money to spend on a store pup. I had dreamed of getting a Golden Retriever, but when I looked for one the price of that dog was more expensive than the car I was driving. So I decided a rescue-dog-adoption was the best idea. I thought about adopting from the shelter, but then I saw something online about puppies that were up for adoption. They were Labrador-Pitbull puppies and they were going fast. When I went to see the litter, there was only one girl left. I wanted a girl. Mostly I had male pets and I wanted a girl this time. She was the smallest pup left in the cart. She had her eyes closed as she was sleeping next to her two brothers who were larger than her. A little black puppy with black eyes. She looked like the cutest black rat I'd ever put my eyes on.

During the adoption process, I had to come up with a name. I wanted to call her Lillian. She was so tiny and we could hold her whole body in one hand. When she came home with us the first night she seemed very scared. She whined all night as if we had kidnapped her and taken her away from her brothers. We lifted her up and put her on the bed and tried to comfort her - to let her know that we were her family now and that all we wanted to do was love her. By the second day, she stopped crying and whining and settled in.

The first month with us, she was too small to jump up on the bed. We had to pick her up. She would slide off the edge to get down and watching her do that was somewhat funny. Dogs don't fall or jump the same way cats do. She seemed a bit humiliated about having to drop like that.

By the time she was three months old, we could see her personality and her body had more than tripled in size. She could at that point jump up onto to the bed. She loved jumping and she was high energy. She didn't bark at all, but she always seemed to be happy and excited about any attention we showed her. She loved bath time. The water put a smile on her face even more than dinner time.

By the time she celebrated her first birthday (on Valentine's Day) she was full-grown. She was about the size of a Collie or Cocker Spaniel, but thicker with a short black coat. Her ears were hilarious. Instead of the traditional floppy ears that most Labrador Retrievers have, Lillian had long, sharp, pointy ears more like the Pitbull. They would stick straight up and we all laughed at how cute it was. Add her high energy personality and her endless smile and we dubbed her with the nickname "Silly Lilly".

At that point, Silly Lilly started showing off her talents. She must have heard me call her a reindeer when I was giggling about her ears. One day I was sitting on the bed in the bedroom, and Lilly came running into the bedroom, speeding from the living room through the hallway, and she leaped over the Queen sized bed. I was flabbergasted and astonished. I started laughing and playing with her and congratulating her on having such amazing jumping skills.

Everyone loved Lilly. My husband adored her, probably more than me. I would get jealous sometimes of others loving her. It was different when it was just me and Leo. Leo was a one-owner type of dog. I was his, and he was mine. There was no confusion or sharing. But Lilly was a family dog. She loved everybody equally and everybody loved Lilly. Even our customers loved Lilly. I really think she helped our business grow a lot.

George would plan Doggie Park outings where the three of us would go hang out. Lillian loved it. She got to play with the other dogs and she got out of the stinky apartment where she was couped up with boring me all the time. When the other dogs met her, they liked her right away, and then the running would start. They would chase Lilly, and I would cheer, "Run, Lilly Run!" and she would outrun every dog at every doggie park we ever went to. She was faster than a Greyhound, I'm sure. I was so proud.

We had and loved Lillian for about two years. As we were closing our lawn care business and facing an uncertain future, keeping Lillian became a stressful situation. I knew I had to find her a home. I didn't know what to do. The family members who loved Lilly wouldn't help me find her a new home. I was not well, and I could not take care of her anymore. I felt like both me and Lilly were being neglected and we were both suffering. All these people who said they loved us, and yet they didn't seem to care about where we would best be loved or settled. It was a confusing and sad time.

My beloved Silly Lilly eventually found a good home. A man in the neighborhood named Jim adopted her. He was all alone and they were a good match. Lilly did much better than me at first. After we closed the lawn care business, my life took a turn for the worse with sickness, financial problems, homelessness, hospital visits, and even some jail time. I missed my home and all the laughs I had with my beautiful daughter Lilly.

After a few years passed I returned to that neighborhood and went to see if Jim and Lillian were still in Jim's apartment. They were and Jim was so kind and gracious to let me have a visit with good ol Silly Lilly. I could tell that she was content. I could see she had gotten older, yet she still had that amazing youthful smile and wagged her tail in love at me as if she had never forgotten me either. As if, my love had been felt, remembered, and reciprocated. Only loving a dog can bring me to tears like this. When you love a dog, and a dog loves you, it really does bring you to tears.