Should Single Parents Date?

Introduction

People become single parents for several reasons. Divorce, death, personal preference, separation, abandonment, adoption, incarceration, and convenience are some of the common reasons why. As mothers and fathers raise their children alone, the desire for the companionship that dating brings may encompass them.

Regardless of a mature person’s age, the desire and quest for exclusivity, companionship, fulfillment, pleasure, fun, happiness, and having a spouse drive them to date.

But a popular question that always arises is

“should single parents date?”

Well, it depends on a lot of personal things that the single parent must realistically and honestly confront.

The purpose of this article highlights these things and gives unmarried parents points to ponder so that they make the best choice about dating that is in their best interests and the best interests of their minor children.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating As A Single Mom or Dad

Here are some very serious considerations single parents need to embrace before getting involved with others casually or one person seriously.

1. Do place the needs of your children above your desire to date. If your children require a substantial amount of your time for things like school-related matters, obtaining regular mental, behavior, or physical health services, and your need to remain supportive in their involvement in their unique activities, you may need to put dating on hold. This is because the timing for dating may not be right for your family.

2. Don’t place your eagerness for a dating partner ahead of the things that your children require. When you prioritize what you exclusively hope for as more important than anything else that pertains to your children, you position yourself as a self-centered parent. All of your actions with your children will likely to point to other selfish personal qualities, too.

3. Do remain open to allow any special friendship to gradually grow if your relationship has the potential to become mutually more meaningful. If you decide to begin a slow dating process, give your partner a chance to get to know your children. Remain observant during the time that your relationship develops to watch how the person you date interacts with your children. Partners may display genuine love and concern for your children during this time. On the other hand, they may show that they loath your children. The response that your partner has to your children in varied situations will give you insight into future possibilities with them. As a parent, you must be prepared to make the absolute best choice for the sake of your children.

4. Don’t date a person with the exclusive intent to replace a parent figure in the life of your children. Neither should you date a person for financial assistance or to improve the quality of life for you or your children. It is unfair to use a dating partner in these ways.

5. Do give yourself and your children all the time that is required to grow and develop together and to enjoy and get to know each other as a family. Each of these has to become more important than any reason you choose for dating.

6. Don’t allow sex to be your only purpose for dating. This sensual, one-dimensional, and self-satisfying reason does not contribute to the foundational growth of a well-rounded relationship. Unfortunately, this type of relationship is likely to be more short-lived, more meaningless, and have a greater chance of ending badly.

7. Do find out about the person’s background before you become involved in them. The internet makes it easy to do so. Things like checking their digital footprint of the person, reading stories about their education and career, and discovering if they have a positive or questionable past online can be your guiding light.

8. Don’t allow loneliness and desperation be the primary reasons to ignore warning signs involving your children and the person you date.

The Final Thoughts

Being a single parent is likely to be very challenging because the weight of responsibility can become overwhelming. Sometimes having an outlet that comes in the form of dating can relieve some of the stress that accompanies single parenting.

Despite the pleasure, happiness, and confidence that dating companions bring, parents must first consider their children when if they decide to pursue this path.

Whatever decision a single parent makes about having dating partners, the overall needs of their children have to come first. After all, that’s simply what good parenting is all about.

Thank you for reading this story. If you enjoyed it, consider sharing it on your social media platforms. Also, please consider adding a tip to help fund my work to increase family engagement in education.

This story was originally published on Medium.com in A Parent Is Born.