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Should Parents Have a Say in Who Their Teen Dates?

A Persuasive Essay

By Dakota LovePublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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“You want to date who?!” This question is asked many times by parents to their teens. Parents want to know who their child is dating, if they are dating, what this person is like, and every teeny tiny detail about the person their teen is interested in. Parents are like the FBI when it comes to dating for their teens, but is this good for the teens? I believe that parents should not have a say in who their teens date because it is the teen's love life, they will eventually find out if it is just not meant to be, and parents do not always see the other side of the person their teen is wanting to date.

First of all, this is the teen's love life we are talking about here. It is their freedom that they get to date. This is the United States that we are having this discussion about, the land of the free, but teens somehow do not have the freedom to choose who they date and love. We are a country that allows people to love who we want. Arranged marriage is a thing of the past and a thing of the Middle Eastern countries, not the United States. According to RDLang, parents “Being overprotective—not trusting [the] child, over strict punishment or rules, and asking too many questions too quickly—can destroy your relationship with [the] child and be counter productive. Try not to expect the worst of them, unless they have repeatedly given you reason to do so.” The teen is going to end up dating them one way or another. They will hide it from the parent as long as they have to, so you might as well go ahead and let them date whoever they want without a fuss.

Next, if it is not meant to be, they will learn at some point. Teens make a million mistakes throughout the years. They usually learn after the first or second time after they do the mistake not to do it anymore. Teens will find out who was not such a good choice for a relationship eventually. Teens often learn who is a helpful person to them and who is a harmful person to them. Some relationships help teens understand why it is good to have a caring person and not to have a self centered person as their significant other. Teens will eventually learn every little detail that will make or break a relationship at some point. “Be there for support, but let them do the bulk of the work themselves.” (RDLang) Teens have to learn themselves, the only way to let them do that is if they make mistakes.

Parents do not always see the other side to the significant other in the relationship. Parents tend to see what they want to see. The partner of the teen could be sweet to them while not in public or in front of people, but shy in front of people and get awkward. Many times this will happen to a teen’s partner because they are not used to parents and do not want to do anything to upset them, but the parent sees it as a bad choice. The parents may also just see the bad things in the partner; they do not and will not see the good because they are just looking at the bad in the partner. (Peters)

Some may argue that the parents have been there and know what to expect. Parents will constantly say that they know what to look for and expect, but each person is different in what they are interested in. The parents may want their child to look for a sweet person, but the teen is interested in a risk taker. Most teens will not tell their parents what their interests are because they do not want to be judged or ridiculed for it. Many LGBTQ+ teens hide their sexuality from their parents due to ridiculing and judgment. We also live in a different era than when the parents were dating. Most of the teens today have a different style of what they look for in people than the 80s or 90s when the parents were dating.

In conclusion, parents should not have a say in who their teens date. The teens know what their interests are, it is the teen's love life, the teens will learn eventually if the partner is the one, and parents do not always see the other side of the partner. Let them date whoever they want, within reason, but do not crowd them, judge them, or put their partner down. It is time to put the question “You want to date who?!” to rest for good.

Works Cited

Peters, Ph.D. Ruth A. “Young Love: Parents Dealing with Teen Romance.” TODAY.com, TODAY, Apr. 2006, www.today.com/parents/young-love-parents-dealing-teen-romance-2D80555520.

“Teen Romantic Relationships.” Children's Hospital Colorado, www.childrenscolorado.org/conditions-and-advice/parenting/parenting-articles/teens-dating/#.WcKL8Je4fX4.email.

rdlang05. “The Dos and Don'ts of Teenage Dating.” WeHaveKids, WeHaveKids, Jan. 2017, wehavekids.com/parenting/The-Dos-and-Donts-of-Teenage-Dating-and-Courtship.

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About the Creator

Dakota Love

Hey! I'm just a simple 19 year old out here. I'm a born and raised Okie! I try to put some facts out into the world as well as letting my imagination run wild with my stories. I hope you like what you read and tips help greatly!

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