Shelter in the field

The tents spread out over night like white mushroom caps - more and more emerged each day of the week. Sofia went out into the morning field, shrouded in a dove-colored haze. She tried to make out the canvas peaks of the tents, far away on the edge of the steppe, when suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a figure creeping in the predawn mist. The figure moved quickly, often looking around, emerging and disappearing between the stalks. Sofia bent down and looked around: There was an old barn nearby, perhaps they spent the night there, and now was heading to the circus, but why so early? When the figure was completely out of sight, Sofia moved towards the old barn. Gently stepping on the damp earth, she went to the dilapidated doors and opened them with a crunch. "-Mama?" a small voice said. Confused by the unexpected presence of a child, Sofia quickly closed the door, and heard soft sobs inside the barn. She put her ear to the door and said quietly: "Who are you?" The sobs subsided for a moment and the voice replied: "I am Yakub, and who are you?" Sofia opened the door and peered in with one eye. She couldn't see anything at all in the purple gloom and asked: "Has your mom left?" "I don't know" -the boy replied- "But Agata will bring me bread." And he sighed deeply and uneasily. "May I come in?" Sofia asked. "Do you have a gun?" as if by chance inquired the child. “I don’t have a gun ..” Sofia answered confused. "Then come in!" He exclaimed delighted.

The rays of the sun crept into the crevices of the barn, glistening on the cobwebs in the corners. Sofia was sitting inside, on dry and fragrant hay, with little boy sleeping in her arms. Gentle rays illuminated his puffy eyes and dried dirty streams of tears on his thin little face. She pressed him tightly, and he buried his nose under her arm and whispered through sleep: "Mama..". The barn door opened slowly and a bony girl in dirty rags slipped inside. Seeing Sofia, she was dumbfounded for a moment and turning her gaze to Yakub, became infuriated. Grabbing some remnant of a wooden cane, she shook it in the air and shouted: "Let him go immediately!" Sofia jerked in fright and Yakub was awakened by the jolt. He cried in his sleep, and the girl, threatening Sofia with a stick, darted and pulled him by the arm from her embrace. "Who are you?" - The girl hissed threateningly- "This is Sofia" - Answered the sleepy boy "Do not hit her with a stick!" The girl obviously hesitated, but did not take her eyes off Sofia. "What do you need?" "I d-don't need anything .." - Sofia leaned over to get up, but the girl threatened her again - "I don't have a gun" - Sofia added, hoping that this would endear the girl. "I saw someone in the field this morning, was that you?" The girl was silent, looking at her probingly. "You went to the circus, right?" "What do you care where I was going? And why are you hugging other people's children!?" Sofia did not know how to answer this, where to begin the story of how her own child died, how she lives alone in a small house surrounded by a large field. How strange it is to her that the old barn has become a shelter for these children on the every morning she went out into the field, hoping for dissolving mist to take away her bitter dreams. To her sake Yakub spoke: "Agata, where is my bread?" He pulled his sister by the sleeve, and throwing a stick on the stone floor, she grabbed him in her arms, intending to run out of the barn. "Please wait!" -Sofia cried out in one breath- "This is my barn! YOUR barn! Stay here if you want! Or stay in my house, it is on the other side of the field not far away. I have bread!" Only the last phrase concerned the girl. "Agata..." -The boy whispered- "She has bread!"

The house was small and cozy. The early morning seeped into the windows lighting up warm wooden floors. A cat lied on one of the sun squares, watching as the exhausted, too mature for her age girl walked through the door, carrying her brother in her arms. She looked around the house with a quick glance and seeing the cat, relaxed a bit and lowered her brother to the floor. “We also had a cat” She said. “Where is it now?” - Sofia asked. “Ate it” the girl answered simply.

The children had already eagerly eaten the small bread cakes before Sofia returned from the cellar with a small jar of jam. Yakub fell asleep on the bench, resting his head on Agata's lap. The girl sat opposite the window, exposing her emaciated face to the warm rays of the sun. With one hand she covered her brother, and with the other she stroked the cat, who twirled ceaselessly and passed off it's white whiskers to her. Agata smiled and giggled softly. She shuddered when she heard Sofia return from the cellar, and meeting her gaze, she wept bitterly. Sofia gently pushed the cat away and sat down on the bench next to Agata. She stroked her head and child-like the girl rushed and clung to her. They sat for a long time hugging each other, silently looking at the dust particles dancing in the transparent rays of the morning sun.

"Tomorrow night." Agata said brushing her wet, tangled black hair. "We'll hop the train to Norway. Before my father..." -She hesitated- "He told me to find this circus. He said they would help us." She lowered the boar bristle brush to her knees and looked at Sofia. "You're not Jewish, are you?" “No” Sofia answered embarrassedly. “I can see it in your hair.” She stroked Sofia's loose honey locks. "You have very beautiful hair, Agata .." "My hair only gets me in trouble!" Agata exclaimed and her eyes filled with tears again. Sofia squeezed her hand. "What does it mean to pay for something in advance?" Agata asked Sofia, who was bewildered by such a question. "Well .. this circus man, he told me that tonight, I can pay the fare for the train in advance, and when I told him that I had no money, he told me to wash myself thoroughly and come back at night." Sofia's cheeks flushed crimson red. Her eyes grew furious, and her lips compressed into a thin white rope. "Oh, is that right !?" She got up from the bed. "Oh, that's how it is!?" She walked up and down the room shouting curses. "You beast! You just wait!" She rushed to the ancient dresser, and opening the second drawer began to swarming through it frantically. She pulled out a brown block and threw it on the bed. “Can you count?” - She turned to Agata, and the latter nodded. "Count it!" Sofia then rushed to the closet and pulled out a colossal black suitcase with gold rivets. “I’ll pay you alright, you bastard ..” She muttered while Agata was throwing puzzled glances at her, not understanding whether Sofia was angry at her or at the circus man. "One hundred twenty Krone" - Agata exhaled, stopping Sofia's muttering and scurrying for a moment. Sofia stopped and looked at the girl. "Go back to the bathroom!" She commanded leaving the room. "I will be back momentarily!"

The peroxide burned the skin, and one had to stand upside down over a large tin basin so that it touched the body as little as possible. Sofia applied a thick mixture of peroxide and baking soda to Agata's hair, rubbed it in and wrapped it up with an old rag. "Now we are waiting" - she said, sitting down on a small stool next to the basin. "Agata .." -She started- "How would you feel about... this morning.. my son .." "What is his name?" - Agata asked. Exhaling and collecting her thoughts, Sofia continued: "His name was Lito. My little Lito .." She looked to the corner of the room, where Yakub was sleeping on a mattress, illuminated by a flickering lamp. "He was five, like Yakub. Only five. Every night he comes to me in my dreams, and I hold him in my arms, and every morning I find that he has dissipated like a night mist from my embrace. My heart cannot endure any more of this, and this morning I was saying goodbye to the field when .. I saw you." Agata looked at Yakub, looked back at Sofia. "Our mother was taken when she went to get bread, father - shortly after her, Jakub doesn't know why. You can come with us if you want .." - She tried to hide the hope in her voice, adding: "For Yakub's sake, of course. " "Really!?" - Sofia scooped the girl in a hug - "Let's just pay for our fare to this scoundrel tonight!" And suddenly she added, "Oh, it's time to rinse your hair!"

Walking together through the field of ears at night turned out to be very exciting. Crickets chirped on the ground, and fireflies, alarmed by travelers, flickered, soaring into the sky and merging with the stars. The inky sky seemed immense and only somewhere in the distance, its edge was illuminated by the circus lights. Coming closer to the camp, Sofia patted her pocket, checking to see if a long object was still in place. The object was indeed in place. "Take me to the person you spoke to in the morning" - she asked Agata, and holding hands they entered the camp.

The sweet air smelled of roasted nuts and potatoes, strings of lightbulbs were shimmering everywhere while the torches lit up the tents' entrances. Some of the tents were red, some were blue, and next to each was a large painted wooden board depicting what awaited visitors inside. More often seen were boards with half-naked girls on them, entwined with snakes or wrapped in shawls, some even played pipes. The inscriptions read: "Exotic Dancer, Hypnotic Snake" Or "Arab Enchantress Reveals the Mysteries of Egypt" Applause and admiring sighs were often heard escaping such tents. One tablet unceremoniously bore the word "OPIUM" and on the other portrayed a family of dwarfs. They approached a small brown tent, guarded by a giant. "There he is" Agata said quietly. Looking at the giant Sofia turned pale, losing her feisty disposition and clearly rethinking the plan. "In the tent .." - Agata pushed her forward. The giant led them inside.

Inside the tent, behind a narrow table, sat a middle-aged bald man with round glasses. The flabby, waxy skin of his face had a sickly yellow glow, due to which he strongly resembled a candle. He was counting something and writing it down with a pen in a notebook. Looking up from his notebook, he glanced over the newcomers and raised his eyebrows. "We came to pay ..." Agata began quickly, and Sofia gave her a nudge. The man smiled and rubbed his hands together. He waved off the giant, ordering him to leave the tent and stood up, brazenly adjusting his crotch. “Wait here” Sofia hissed to Agata, and went behind the curtain, following the gesture of the nasty man. The curtain was too thick and did not let the light through well, it was hard for Agata to understand what exactly was happening behind it. All she heard was a low murmur and the sound of unbuttoned trousers. Then the man spoke very quickly and loudly, he was hissed at in response and then he whined. "Alright! Alright! All three!" Sofia's suppressed voice followed, carrying and a snatch of the phrase: "..will cut it off .." "Never!" the man shouted back to her, and in a few moments, Sofia emerged from behind the curtains. Passing the table, she put several bills on it, and pressed them with an inkwell. Looking back at the curtain, from where the angry candle-like man was peering out frightened, she said loudly: "See you tomorrow then." And led Agata out of the tent.

The dawn rays of Friday morning gently awakened Sofia from the first deep sleep in several agonizing years. A little boy was cradled in her arms, cuddling closely to her heart, and a little girl hugged her back. Sofia opened her eyes, flapped her eyelashes in disbelief several times, and finding the child in her arms, she wept quietly. Sofia went out into the field for the last time, where the night haze had already dissipated, presenting golden ears and wet stalks of grass to her gaze. She went behind the dilapidated barn, where a small and a big boulder sat on top of a small and a bigger mound. Sitting down, she stroked the stone covered with yellow lichen, and spoke quietly: "I let you go, my dear Leto. Now another little boy needs me." A light breeze whirled around her, ruffling her honey hair, and she chuckled remembering how Leto's little hands had done the same to her hair. She looked at a larger stone lying nearby, and touching it sadly whispered: "I will always love you, please look after him."