selfless love

I think I can, I think I can, I am the little engine that could, being born in Baltimore city to an alcoholic mother that loved me dearly, but love the drinking a little more and an absent birth father, who as he put it when he finally called was that he was living that street life, so he stayed away to protect me and my sister who was two of my birth mothers the seven children that belong to him. This was the beginning of my life from birth to five months, living with my mother and three of my older siblings at my grandmother’s house. when I was five months old my mother decided to fulfill a promise that she made to a lady in a drunken state but with the most clarity she had in her heart, she wanted better for us and it all started with me. It was a turning point for all the people involved which included my mother, me ,the children she bore after me the lady I was given to, her husband, and their six children, extend family members, my husband, my in-laws,and my children. That day, even though I was five months old was the best manifestation of true love of a mother for her child. She truly wanted better for me and her other children and she knew she could not give us the life she desired for us, so she selflessly gave us to some so special with the most amazing heart a human could possess, That day she took me to a little tavern bundled up in a small car seat, where the lady who fed her for the nine months she was pregnant with me worked, and told her I promised you a gift, set my car seat on the counter turn around and left that was the beginning of the life that shaped who I am today.

Now that I’ve talked about where I came from I need to also talk about where I was going, so my mother that raised me who I call Ummie which means my mother in Arabic and her husband who I call Abu which means father in Arabic were Sunni Muslims, a very religious family where Islam was not just a religion but a way of life, Ummie’s upbringing resemble mine a little but differ greatly as she was also given away to another family but not by choice but circumstances her mother died when she was a baby and her father passed away when she was three.so she never really knew where she came from and was always searching for her family. The family that raised her was Christian and abu’s upbringing was in a strict catholic family where he attended church regularly and was even an altar boy.

The beginning

Growing up as an African American Muslim in Baltimore city to two working parents, Ummie who worked at night at 7 eleven and Abu who worked during the day made for quite an interesting life. There was always one parent in the home. They were very strict and home life was very structured, we were raised were religion played a big part in every aspect of our life. I was one of five girls living in our home, of the girls, three more were also given to Ummie and Ibu by my mother and one was Ummie’s biological granddaughter from her oldest son. My parents valued education, so me and my sibling went to a private Muslim school. I started out in public school and transferred to the Muslim school after it was approved. I was in fifth grade by the time the school approval was finalized. I love it there, the principal was my brother in law(Ummie’s daughters husband) and most of my teachers were either family or parents of my friends, they all had bachelors and masters degrees in education, or business administration, so they went through and got approved to run a private school. I went there from 5th grade until 10th grade, which was the highest grade taught. I was taught eleventh and twelfth grade by my other sister (Ummies other daughter) who has a master’s in education. Once I finished twelfth grade, I took my GED.I was Eighteen. My eighteenth year was the year of many new experiences, That’s the year I met and fell in love with my husband and the year I finished high school. I started getting proposals at fifteen and even though my parents thought I was too young, and I thought I was too young, my father still ask me if I was interested because he believed I had a right to know, and a right to accept on refuse a proposal, In our religion we weren’t allowed to have boyfriends and girlfriends, So my parents always made it clear that if we liked some one to let them know, I always refused the proposal’s and me and my sibling would laugh about it, then it happened, the proposal I was wishing for, my father put me and my siblings in Kungfu class when I was sixteen, beside teaching us, cooking and cleaning, among many other things like putting down floors in a home, putting up sheet rock to make walls and spackling before painting the walls, we also learned self-defense. The first day I went to class I fell head over heel in love with the Kung Fu teacher’s assistant. I told my parents, my dad checked him out, by asking other people in our community about him and then asking him about his self. Where he worked, what Mosque he attended etc. We never spoke directly to each other unless it was about him teaching me different sparing technique or fighting stances, only my siblings, the other females at the class and my parents knew I had a crush, I knew it was more than a crush so the day he ask my father for my hand was the happiest day of my life next to giving birth to my six children. We were engaged for six months; we never went out only talked on the phone or talked to each other at class, to get to know each other, we were never alone until after marriage. After marriage I had my first child a little girl at nineteen. The way my life started pretty much made me who I am today, I wanted to make sure I raised my children in a two-parent household. I am also raising them were religion comes first. I am also very open with my children to talk to me about if they are ready for marriage. My differences in how I am raising my children the than how I was raised, are I let them go to public school, two have graduated from high school, one’s in college(my oldest daughter),one’s in a trade program at Johns Hopkins. I let them have summer jobs my dad wouldn’t let us have a summer job. I am not opposed to them getting married I just emphases the importance of a degree for all my children, and for them to travel and explore the world if they so choose to before settling down, but if they want to get married to let me know. I found that being raised in a very well structured home, and being able to witness both sides of the coin my birth mother’s life style versus my parent’s I became a well-rounded young women who can overcome any obstacle in path, when I look back at the opportunity’s I was given because of my birth moms selflessness. And my parents that raised me selflessness.