REMINISCING

She finished putting her laundry away and sat on her bed. She picked up her cat and knew she couldn’t have made it through the past couple of years without him. She’s single and alone in the world (except for family who live all over the place). The only constant in her life the past 7 years has been her cat. He always knows when something is bothering her. And this evening is no different. He gives her a look as if to say, “Don’t worry. We’ll get through this. We always get through everything.” She gives the cat a hug and pets him for a couple of minutes. Until he jumps off of her lap and goes to lap up some water.

She stands up from the bed and takes a look around her bedroom. There’s not much in it. A queen-sized bed, 2 mismatched night tables, a buffet that she uses as a tv stand, an end table that she uses as extra space to put odds and ends on. And then there’s her favorite piece of furniture. An antique vanity that she was allowed to take from her grandmother's house when her grandmother died over 15 years ago. It’s definitely an old-style vanity. It has 3 drawers on either side and a single drawer in the center. It’s got a huge round mirror made out of thick glass. It’s the type of mirror that probably isn’t even made anymore. And if it is, it would probably cost thousands of dollars to make. That vanity has made it through her past 3 or 4 moves. She’s always very careful with it, especially with the glass. She remembers seeing photos of her grandmother at the vanity. Her grandmother was always well dressed. Beautiful dresses and coats. She was always very stylish.

She was close with her grandmother growing up. She always looked up to her grandmother. Always wanted to make her grandmother proud of her. She remembers that whenever she was upset about anything, or even just having a bad day, she would take the 20-minute drive to her grandmother’s house. By the time she walked to the front door, she’d be a lot calmer. Her grandmother’s house was her happy place. She loved going there. Her grandmother never judged her about anything. Her grandmother always supported her no matter what. If her grandmother didn’t agree with something that she wanted to do, there was never any anger or argument about it. She would give her opinion, but she never hated her about anything.

She has so many very fond memories of her grandmother. Sometimes she can still smell her grandmother’s scent. Sometimes she can still feel her grandmother’s presence. As silly and far-fetched as it may sound, she sometimes feels that her grandmother’s spirit is in her cat. The cat seems very in tune to her. Almost as if he understands exactly what she’s saying and like he wants to talk to her. It’s like he actually pays attention to her more than most people do – which is kind of like what her grandmother always did.

She misses her grandmother dearly and has for the past 15+ years. She still talks to her grandmother, she’s sure her grandmother hears her. As she gets older, she’s starting to see some of her grandmother in herself. There’s nothing wrong with that though. Her grandmother was a great woman.

Her grandmother was very special to her. She still is very special to her. She still sometimes finds herself wondering what her grandmother would say of certain situations. She wonders if her grandmother would be proud of the woman she has grown up to be. She knows her grandmother probably wouldn’t agree with all of the choices she makes. But she also knows that her grandmother would never discourage her from anything that appeared to be that important to her. It’s ok to make mistakes. That's how you learn. She’s made some mistakes in life (but everyone makes mistakes in life), and she's sure that her grandmother has looked past those mistakes. She’s constantly trying to improve herself and her life. She’s sure that her grandmother can see that.

She still has such high regard for her grandmother. She remembers the countless times they sat out on her grandmother’s front porch with her. It was always very relaxing. There were tall trees in front of the house. So they didn’t have to worry about being bothered by neighbors if they didn’t want to be. She remembers so many family gatherings. Not only during holidays, but all year long as well. Usually on Sunday.

She misses those times. But she values all the time that she did have with her grandmother. She still has material items, as well as countless memories, that she will always hold on to.