Raised By A Narcissist And An Empath

The definition of a narcissist is, "a person who has excessive interest in or admiration of themselves" so, this means they care about nothing and no one except themselves. On the other spectrum, the definition of an empath is, "a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual" so this means sometimes caring to much for others and not enough about themselves. Put the two together and add parenting and you get a complete disaster.

Let me start with my Mother, my Mother is the empath. She has always cared so much for my brother and I and she still does. My Mother made my childhood a lot better than it could have been without her. My Mother is a very caring and sensitive women who has always put my brother and I first. My brother and I literally are her world. She has made mistakes such as, staying with my Father for far to long but, I forgave her because she is an amazing women. She was just trying to do what was best for everyone.

Now let me talk about my Father. My Father is the absolute opposite of my Mother and always has put himself first. He is rude and blunt and always says what is on his mind without the consideration of others or their feelings. If he made you cry he would say, "That's your fault for getting upset over what I said and crying is for pussies". He not only emotionally abused my brother and I growing up but, he physically did as well. I will not get into any detail for the sake of privacy for my brother and myself but, let me just say he was an alcoholic and I have been thrown down a flight of stairs before. Yes, not very fun.

So some of you reading this may be asking yourselves, "Why are you telling me this?" If you are a parent I want you to really listen to the answer to that question and here it is. I am a Mother trying to find the middle on this narcissistic and empathic spectrum. I want to care for my son but, be his Mother not his friend. I want to be able to discipline my son without yelling at him and calling him names. This all matters because, if you emotionally of physically abuse your child it effects them long-term. My biggest goal at a parent is to find my middle on this spectrum.

I am not afraid to say that I see a therapist because, it helps me as a person and a parent. My therapist referred me to this book that talks about being raised by a Narcissist and an Empath and it really helped me. It talked about each style of parenting and how their parents raised them effects/effected how they parent. I did not know my Grandfather on my Father's side but, I did know my Grandmother. I never got to know to much about my Father's childhood but, I did see that he had a huge resentment towards his Mother. I knew both my Grandfather and Grandmother on my Mother's side. My Grandfather was a wonderful man who sadly passed away in July of 2017 while I was pregnant with my son. My Grandmother on my Mother's side is happily still alive. She is a wonderful woman as well. Are you seeing a pattern here? I am!

So, my Mother has no resentment towards either of her parents and my Father had a huge resentment towards his Mom. My Mother is the empath and my Father is the narcissist. Just keep in mind for future generations that how you raise your child effects how they will one day raise their child. I want to be a good Mom so, my son will one day be a good Father to his children and that is why I am doing it now during his childhood. I want my son to have a good childhood so I am trying my absolute best to do such for him. I hope that if you are a parent and read this article that you take something from it.