Quarantined and Working from Home, with Kids

I am not sure what day of lock down this is. I can't remember if I social distanced before the shelter in place started. The reality of what is happening right now is so surreal that I can't do much besides function day to day in a weird twilight zone world. Grabbing groceries makes me feel like I am in Outbreak, or some movie about Zombies. What I do know is that it feels like eternity that my kids and I have been in close quarters. They certainly do not understand social distancing. From other people, absolutely. But from me? Nope.

So I must say, regardless of my personal opinion on the current events of the world, my children and their safety is my number one concern. So they have not been in any stores, with friends, or anywhere but at home. Except the occasional couple times their father took them to the shop to work on the race cars. Which got shut down the minute the kids told me about it. My kids are my number one, always. I love them, and they are my entire world.

However. THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. My normally sweet, funny, active boys are driving me up all the walls. Not just one wall. All of them. And it isn't their fault. They are kids. And they are simply being kids. I get it. I accept it. But, for the love of God COULD YOU STOP PUNCHING YOUR BROTHER?!

It is an absolute blessing that I am able to get this extra time with them while they are young. Time flies, and my oldest is ten. I honestly can't imagine how this happened. My baby is three. Not a baby anymore, but always my baby. And my middle son, my 8 year old, it feels like he has been stuck at like, age 4 or 5 for all of these years. I look at them and wonder how this can be. Where are my littles? Why does it go so quickly?

The fact that I am aware of this blessing of slowing down and spending time with them is probably the only reason I haven't sold them to the gypsies. Legit, I would track a band of gypsies to the end of the Universe right now to sell them my kids. Or maybe lease them for a few months. (I'm kidding, don't get butt hurt and report me, I would never actually sell them. I would completely just give them away.) In all seriousness, I really am enjoying the extra time and the more casual routine, with less running across town five times a day and utter chaos to get everywhere.

The challenge is this: I am still working, at home. On a computer, and needed to be super focused on tasks. Then they have school work. I am NOT a teacher. I could not BE a teacher. I will never, ever again be put in this role. If I have to pay a tutor if another case like this arises, I will. I cannot teach them. My level of frustration when I try is beyond acceptable, and nobody needs that. However, we are making it through and establishing some sort of groove with it. So that's been nice.

And these kids, they want ALL of my attention. When I finally convince them they don't need it, and can actually entertain themselves - they start hitting each other, or bottle flipping (if you have no idea what this is, consider yourself among the luckiest people in the world), wrestling, making massive messes painting or crafting. Or they are watching YouTube and all of a sudden someone is swearing on the TV. Or sometimes in the other room I hear one of them swearing, I won't even lie. And Heaven forbid that I need to speak to someone on the phone, because at that point ALL hell will break loose and someone will scream or bleed or feel the need to tattle a 20 minute story to me at the very top of their lungs.

I can tell you how to beat all of the levels of Piggy in Roblox, answer Minecraft trivia questions, and my Hello Neighbor imitation is spot on. FGTeev and Collins Key are like my best friends. (YouTubers the boys like). And I can beat almost anyone at Try Not to Laugh. I have been know to actually tell my 3 year old that a character from one of the jump scare games he watches will come get him if he doesn't quiet down and go to sleep. It is non-stop, this craziness that is my life. They wake up early, stay up later than they should, and have no sort of meal schedule except for dinnertime. And I am not even worried.

I am by no means a helicopter mom. I am a sit back and learn from it mom. I am a pick it up every couple days mom. You don't want what I am cooking? Fine, what will you eat - because you have to eat something and I do not feel like arguing. My kids are well aware of these things, and use them to their utmost advantage. I don't even care anymore, it is far too late to fix it at this point. They are alive, they are intelligent, they are respectful to almost everyone. They are polite, well spoken, and active. Healthy, sweet, and amazing. So what if they are louder than a zoo full of animals? And does it really matter if they spill or make a mess? They are only kids, you clean it up. Or you teach them to do it.

Okay, I started this to vent my frustrations at having my kids up my ass 24/7, and as I have typed this I am smiling and reveling in the joy they bring me. Yeah, they are obnoxious and a lot to handle - but I wouldn't have them any other way. They are the best versions of me, and remind me of myself constantly. Even with this pandemic, they are bright and happy. THriving, even. They are turning into the most amazing little creatures. And the things that drive me the most crazy about them? They will grow out of them in the blink of an eye. They won't want my lap, or my hugs. They will have their own phones, cars, hobbies. They won't want to be at home, or out in public with me. So I embrace this time, this opportunity to focus the most on the kids. I relish the fact that while I miss watching their games, it is going to be short live. And for now our schedule is so calm that we are having quality time. Some day, my world will be silent, and still. And I will be longing for the days when I prayed for thirty four seconds to pee alone.