Put Your Hands Together: Deserving Dads Who Mold and Prepare Our Little Humans

I refuse to dole out willy-nilly, “Happy Father’s Day” greetings to every man who has fathered a child.

Really, ten minutes to gratify yourself doesn’t deserve kudos. Woo-hoo, you spread your seed? How awesome!

No. Just, no.

I am not crass, just honest. My loving father deserved the acknowledgment daily, so one day a year to go the extra mile made sense. You know what they say, only the good die young. And, he did.

My dad made it logical and easy to see why fathers are honored.

What doesn’t make sense is celebrating a seed sower. Falling victim to commercialization, like every Hallmark-hosted holiday, men now have expectations that may or may not be deserved each year in June.

There is no participation award unless you’ve actually participated in fathering.

Fathering a child is not raising a child. You don’t make the cut, regardless of how many offspring you created to run the earth, because you satisfied your own need. Fathering needs to be a verb to qualify.

Oh, you want a new tie? A day in your recliner? You’d like your grass cut or to attend a sporting event? A massage? Do you want to golf for the day, maybe fish or hunt? Deal.

Just answer a few questions before you receive your bounty.

• Do you know your child better than your job, your boss, or other employees?
• Have you listened to and learned about their dreams, their goals, and their desires?
• Do you help them celebrate their differences and elevate their uniqueness?
• Have you talked to them and not at them?
• Do they know you as their soft place to fall?
• Have you supported them when no one would?
• Do they look to you as their hero?
• Have you refrained from imposing your thoughts on them?
• Did you wipe their tears, bandage a boo-boo or talk them off the ledge?
• Have you put them first and allowed yourself to be emotionally available?
• Did you learn their language?

What? Too many questions? Fair enough.

Let’s wrap this up with just one, then:

Do you love your child by showing them?

Father’s Day is more than a back slap for sperm donors. It celebrates the men who have stepped up to the plate and been uplifting role models for their children. Biological father or not, stand-in replacement, fathers and fatherly figures come in all shapes and sizes.

You won’t find me visiting my biological dad’s grave site to place a carnation of thanks. He didn’t want me and he didn’t want to be a father.

And, it showed.

You will find me honoring my dad, the man who gave me all he could and added layers of strength, integrity, and morality to keep with me long after he left the earth.

Some fathers fall short. It’s not too late, though. After Father’s Day 2022, you have 365 days to chip away at any listed items you may have overlooked. We’re all human and works in progress. The only travesty is learning what to do and then ignoring it.

Tighten up on some things you’ve let slip. Add a little every day, and you will be worthy of next year’s award in no time.

Start with showing your child what love looks like, and go beyond just the words. They are practicing how to act when they become adults. You are blessed with the special task of molding them with your actions. They look to you, trust you, and they will follow you. Believe in them as they believe in you.

My dad believed in me.

Me.

He taught me I had value. My dad took the time to explain why hiking up a steep hill over the broken glass was necessary if it was right. “Never take the easy road and just pray for success in the end. Don’t step on another person to elevate yourself. The fall is always painful to you and them.”

“Work hard, stand tall, and do the right thing, even when no one is looking ~ especially when no one is looking.”

He backed up his words with his actions. I know because I did what kids do which is watch and learn.

In turn, my gift to him is to instill the same self-esteem and self-worth in my own children, that no amount of money can buy.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for making me, me.

Happy Father’s Day to the many deserving dads. Your kids are blessed.