Post International Adoption Issues

In regard to POST adoption issues - adoptive parents not knowing about emotional or behavioral issues. My recommendations and a warning to all adoptive parents.

As the mother of two internationally adopted children, I have an opinion on this...and I feel very strongly about this. This is what I did in MY two adoption situations - China and KOREA.

In regard to the adoptive parent: anyone entering the international adoption process, or possibly even the domestic adoption process for that matter, should be doing their OWN research before taking the big step and signing with an agency.

FIRST~ do your own research on the country you are thinking about adopting from... you might have an affinity for China, Korea, Guatemala.. it doesn't matter which country you choose. Do your research and find out the numbers and the issues, the possibilities- how many children come home with undiagnosed conditions or conditions that were not disclosed-- it happens-- but prepare yourself. Lets be honest-- if you adopt a child from Russia or the Ukraine-- high chances your child is going to have some level of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or/and RAD (reactive attachment disorder) . RESEARCH and find out what kind of services are available in your area for these types of situations, what kind of help can you get from your local hospital, medical group, therapists, religious social services group, adoption support network and even your local county services. KNOW what you might have to deal with from the beginning and KNOW where you will need to go for help if any situation occurs that warrants assistance.

IN NO WAY is this post adoption assistance process up to the adoption agency YOU chose to work with in adopting your child. Which brings me to my SECOND point.

SECONDLY~ research research research before you sign with any agency! What kind of reputation do they have in their local community- call every reference they give you and then ask THOSE references if they know anyone else that has used that agency and call them also. Go to local international adoption support groups-- ask EVERYONE what agencies were used- LISTEN to everything and take notes if you need to. VERIFY VERIFY VERIFY! If the agency you are thinking about is in another state--- check online for that Agency in state/city local magazines or newspapers to see if ANYTHING has been documented in an article or with the BBB. Locally, if the agency is having a lecture at a local library for example to discuss international adoption - go and listen. Ask questions. Take notes. And bring a 3rd party--we all know someone that always points out the negative and sees the glass as half empty. Too many times we only hear what we WANT to hear and disregard the rest because " that won't happen to me". IF the agency is out of town, and you happen to know someone in that area, ask them to please go and listen to the lecture, and call and get verbal information. Compare notes on what the agency has told you-verbally- and what someone else was told. Take your time in making a decision. If something strikes you as off...trust your gut and research more.

LASTLY ~~ Why do I think the agency is NOT responsible for POST adoption issues? Because this is an ADOPTION agency-- they are they to FACILITATE the adoption process and the HUGE amount of paperwork required and the in-country services such as translators and expeditors.

Once the adoption is done and you are home with your child- YOU ARE responsible for YOUR child. If it was a child by birth- would you hold the doctor, the OB/Midwife that delivered your baby responsible to make sure you got services when the child is 2 years old and develops autism or 4-5 years old and has developed ADHD? No of course not! So do not hold the agencies guilty either. YOU ARE responsible for getting the help you need--- YOU are responsible for the agency you sign with- YOU are responsible for knowing what kind of problems are associated with international adoption, You are responsible for knowing what emotional/behavioral issues might be encountered from said country. Go in with your eyes WIDE OPEN. You are responsible for making sure YOU know where to go for help should anything arise. YOU are responsible for YOUR child and YOU should be prepared - go into this with knowledge you might need in the months and years to come.. Fingers crossed you won't have to make use of your research, But if you do...thank Goodness ... you already did your research and are prepared!