Picture book

There’s an overcast today I had read in my weather app. Turned to my side eyes barely open but they are focused. Fixed on the blinds and got a glimpse of the dreariness seeping into my room. I don’t want to feel like outside. Turned over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling stretching out my toes and arms and released a few yawns. Damn I thought, why haven’t I’ve gotten up.

I’d closed my eyes and imagined a different sky. I would hug the blue clear sky and smell a sun kissed flower. Too bad that this is the forecast the rest of the week. Get one last stretch on before my feet slide into my slippers. Oh my goodness! I clutched my stomach so tight at the site of them. This was the gift my dreadful ex boyfriend gifted me for my twenty ninth birthday. A day, no matter how many attempts my mind works at forgetting it does no good bidding.

See, that day was hawt and we decided to plan something fun with our friends for my birthday. Discovery Park was just ten miles from us and we’d always wanted to visit but didn’t quite have the time. We still was adjusting to the big move because of his work. We had friends here so that was comforting. It was ten of us total and boy did we have a good time. It wasn’t until David bought out the water ballons. That day I’d decided to wear a light grey romper with no...well undies. I didn’t realize how cheaply the material was made until he hit me six times back to back with the balloons. What can I say, he has pretty great aim. To my surprise everyone’s mouths were wide open. I looked down and see my entire pubic bone and buttocks were exposed. This jerk had the nerve to yell out, “WET COOCHIE CONTEST!” I couldn’t believe the lack of sympathy of my embrassment and his negligence to rescue me. We’ve been together since college and so much has built up inside of me I had to call it quits.

Melancholy just washed its’ self over me. The regret of giving so much love to someone who thought he deserved for me to marry him. Ughhhhhh!!!!! As tears roll down my face my heart stings play cruel tunes causing my chest to ache. I didn’t want to wake up gloomy. My psychologist told me to take it easy. Look for the small things to be appreciative for. I kick the slippers off of my feet and grab the slippers my sister brought. I have a thing for slippers.

The clouds from outside seem to want to keep me company. I head into the kitchen to make prepare to make some Chamomile and lavender tea. The aromas together Danes over my taste buds before I even set the kettle. Still this joy recedes as quickly as it came. The tides refusing to let me stay on land. I snap back into reality. I see the light on my answering machine flicker red. Yeah I know it’s old school but I enjoy the memories of rushing home from school to see if that boy I liked thought of me.

To my surprise it was my dad. After him and mom divorced he hasn’t called or been around much. He was telling me about his travels and blah blah blah. I almost was about to deleted it but I heard him say something kind of silly. He said, “I blow bubbles to create my own rainbows.” Startled by the kettle I tripped over the chair and my good ol peach pie fail on my face. All I could this time is cry and cry and cry. This year has been hard and I’ve been skimming along my days and emotions. This time I felt them, wanting to call my psychologist to up my dosage for my medicine

I must’ve broken my machine. In the midst of my tears my dad’s voice kept saying, “I blow bubbles to create my own rainbows.” At the top of my lungs I screamed, “ SHUT THE FUXK UP!!”, “you haven’t been here to give me advice dad!!” I finally rose and removed the kettle off of the stove. I let the machine play, my mind was with the lost. Wow dad, just wow. There was an urge for me to go into the hallway closet that took my trance off the answering machine. There it was on the floor, pictures of my family in this box I haven’t looked through in years. My doctor advices me to find happiness in my past to bring into my present.

I see this picture of my dad and I at the park blowing bubbles. It was our own thing that we shared separately from my other siblings. He always made sure that he does something specially different with each of us. To my surprise I still had bubbles from a baby shower I attended last month. It felt silly, the thought of blowing them but the machine kept playing my daddies voice.