Patena

As she looked in the glass the liquid shimmered, all the sounds of the room faded as she stared at the water. It mesmerized her, it always had. So elusive and yet so real, so commonplace and yet so magical. No one else seemed to give something so simple so much thought, certainly no other girls her age. No adults either for that matter, at least no one she knew, except maybe her grandmother Patena. They didn’t give much notice to circles either. Like the fact that all glasses seemed to be circular. There was also the idea of the glass itself, or chalice to be exact. So many questions and so few answers, always the same. As she took a sip of the cool liquid the noises and colors of the room returned. She remembered to smile and nod, as her grandmother had reminded her while hiding her thoughts. Hiding thoughts had become a habit, it was much easier to hide the thoughts than to actually try to mention them. “Yes! It’s delicious, the most refreshing water is always here”, Ena replied as she handed the chalice back to the priest. She was truly appreciative, the water has always been special to her. She really believed in its magical properties. No one ever really explained from where the water came. It was as if it came from the protected rock, but that really seemed illogical. Rocks don’t produce water, she knew. It was another thought and question to “saved” for a later time. She would ask grandmother later. Practicing for the Transformation Ceremony with the actual water of the mountain was exciting. She couldn’t wait to tell grandmother Patena.

Ena moved back to her position next to the other children. Taking in every aspect of the site she felt small and important at the same time. The sacred fire did make her feel warm, the smell of the natural growing flowers eased her nervousness, the sound of the flowing water made her feel strong. While she felt different from others in so many ways, here and now she and her friends together felt strength.

It felt good to be entrusted with and drinking from a chalice so old, The pictures of the animals molded in the gold were a connection to the past. How far past she wasn’t sure, mother said that Marlik had been there forever but forever was a very long time, mother always seemed to simplify and exaggerate simultaneously. The bells chimed while the last child returned to their position in line, this captured Ena’s full attention.

The girls walked in rows toward the tall wooden doors as instructed and she could see the sunshine through the crack where the doors came together. It sparkled and called to her as always. It was a feeling she called freedom. Exiting, Ena was careful as she walked down the stairs. She had learned to be cautious over time, falling had been one of her specialties when she was younger. Balance, another of the ideas that constantly circled in Ena’s head. Circles, again the theme, the never-ending themes that recurred over and over again. Ena knew enough to know that it was not the useless nonsense that others said it was but without a place to use them she was confused by the thoughts. What was the point of having thoughts that could not be applied to real situations? Ever-present she learned to push the thoughts away, or better yet, put them in boxes in her mind for use at another time. The church did not really value the insights of girls her age, or children in general really. Yet another unanswered question for Ena, “why?” and had it always been this way. The birdbath in the circular courtyard drew her attention as her friends ran toward the gardens that surrounded it. The swallows overhead seemed happy for the girls, She watched them as they circled high in the air then lowered to dip in the water and flew high again. As they crossed each other’s path it was as if they made a figure eight. Luckily, moments like these were protected, memories locked in place by the music of the birds. Heaven and earth were where the birds lived, that beautiful glowing slice of space.

First Tuesdays were busy days and as the girls finished their moments of play in the gardens they all began to wander towards their work. Waving and smiling as they drifted apart the laughter and giggles hung in the air. The warmth of the high altitude sun on Ena’s face always felt like a kiss from nature. The tall peaks of the mountain ranges above reminded her of nature’s strength. It reminded her of her mother’s strength, solid and protecting, immoveable. “My strength is not that way”, thought Ena to herself as she walked toward their stall at the outdoor marketplace. “One thing is for sure, I’ll never be like that”, she sighed. In fact, she felt she would be just the opposite. Ena didn’t see much in common with her mother. Her grandmother mentioned a form of togetherness that she never really seemed to understand. The three of them approached things so differently. Many times Ena felt alone in her way of thinking, not only with her friends but with family as well. It would be nice to find something that tied them together but over time she had stopped looking. If it was a competition between the family women she would definitely be the loser. Her head was always seeking patterns of thought and theirs always concentrating on the jobs at hand. If life was really just literal, Ena knew that the jobs really didn’t care about who won or lost on personal grounds, they cared about who bought and who sold. Ena’s job was to help sell and to explain how the miniature pieces were created. Her mother sold tapestries, very small pieces that could be hung in people’s homes, or rooms if they didn’t own a whole home. Or even just kept close in their bag if they had no room. Over time Ena had studied the people that came to the market, they were not all the same. It wasn’t completely clear what or why there were differences other than the obvious like clothing, but there were and yet if you were able to truly look into their eyes it seemed there was a certain unity. She wondered if there was a specific word for that and then let the thought go. She liked the fact that her mother’s things could be purchased by almost everyone. The prices were varied and so it seemed most people could afford one if they chose. “I like people,” she said aloud to herself. “What did you say?”, asked Lena her mother as she unpacked the pieces onto the stall table and stood up, “I didn’t hear you”.

“Nothing”, Ena replied. At this, her mother stopped and stood straight up. Here comes the avalanche thought Ena. Her mother looked directly into her eyes and said clearly, “ ‘Nothing’ is not an answer, you definitely said something. If in fact, you do not care to share your thoughts, then ‘Nothing’ is what should come out”. Her mother was not an angry or mean person but rather a firm and somewhat stern person, it seemed, at least when “teaching” Ena. Other moms didn’t seem to be that way, other moms seemed soft and fuzzy. Those thoughts she kept to herself. “I said that I like people”, replied Ena looking her mother in the eyes. Her mother’s expression softened and a small smile with dimples appeared on her cheeks, “I like people too Ena, and so we had better get our ‘stories’ on the table so that they can be shared”, she said referring to her tapestries, and then returned to the old leather trunk behind her. Ena walked to her side and together they arranged the pieces on the table and closed the trunk. Moving the trunk toward the table it served as a bench, “Does everything serve double duty” she thought, again her wandering mind was active. As if her mother could hear her thoughts she turned to Ena and put her hand on top of Ena’s head and winked. The day was just beginning. The outdoor market had cloth awnings that were brightly colored. They danced in the wind as a breeze blew through. The sun danced with them in what seemed like a colorful parade in the sky if you looked from one end to the other. Ena’s mother’s stall was in the first few tables. It gave a great view of the city gate as well as the market road as it made its way down the hill.

Ena liked the market stalls before the people arrived, it always provided a special moment. The market was divided into sections. The mercantiles were first, followed by the flowers, food, musical instruments, spices, and then opened onto tables where people ate prepared foods. The sounds and smells gave life to the small town. The outdoor air, the hum of the familiar voices, the bird’s chirps, and the peaceful sense of belonging made it feel as if time stopped, and as always, in a flash, it was gone. She heard the horses before she saw the children run forward and the adults stand back. Somewhere between child and adult, Ena didn’t seem to be afraid or excited, just curious. Why would horses be passing through the marketplace? Of course, there was room enough on the street but no one did that, not even the governors. Pushing away her thoughts, she looked east toward the city gate and saw a sight that was unfamiliar to her. There were five men, old and young, on horses headed toward the market stands. They were dressed in armor with silk sleeves, The purple on the sleeves was dark and the thinnest blue line ran the length from shoulder to wrist. She had never seen anyone dressed this way, in fact, even the horses appeared to be dressed. The leather reins passed over a small circular breastplate that held blue and purple silk sashes that connected at the saddle.

These were not normal horses nor normal riders. As she began to move naturally toward them Lena grabbed her daughter’s arm and pulled her back to the stall. “You may stand by the table as they pass, not a step further,” she looked sternly into Ena’s eyes as she spoke. Ena didn’t know if out of respect or fear, but she knew not to ask at this moment. “Who are they?”, she whispered to her mother. “They are Beys, they are traveling from their homes to the east. They are passing through on their way to Aleppo”, Lena explained. “What are Beys?” whispered Ena. “Really Ena? Must you know the answer to every question immediately?” Lena looked at her daughter’s innocent face with her tan skin and green eyes. Her dark brown hair had wisps falling from the headband that held it back. With a softer tone, she quietly explained, “ The Beys are of royal bloodlines, they are the leaders of their people. They are tribal chiefs and their families. There are nomads of the steppes near Bukhara and Samarkand. They are intelligent and fierce protectors of their tribes. “Should I be afraid?” asked Ena as she looked around and saw the other adults cowering. “Never be afraid, always be respectful.” Lena continued, “We are neighbors in a sense, neighbors that share the road. We form part of a larger community, a family in a sense, that share our art.

The horses and riders moved carefully and cautiously toward the market. It showed that they had respect for the people and their wares. As they came closer Ena felt a sense of awareness of her clothing. It was nothing special. She smoothed her simple blouse instinctively and straightened her skirt. As she finished straightening her headband she looked up and realized the group of mounted riders was nearing her table. As she looked into their eyes she felt she had never seen wisdom like this before, at least not this close. Wisdom seemed to be the right word, but defining it was always complicated.

In the group of five, it appeared that the strongest rode first. They were older men, but not too older, maybe the age her father would have been. It seemed like the first two riders were brothers., or maybe cousins? In fact, it seemed that all five were from the same family. The next rider must be the father. Distinctively older he still looked very healthy and capable for his age. The grey in his beard announced his position in the order. Behind him rode two younger men, or older boys? It was hard for Ena to really describe this age group, her age group. Everything, in fact, about understanding this age seemed complicated. The last rider was definitely the youngest, he was the age of Ena’s brothers, she could tell by the curiosity in his stare and the way his head wandered from side to side looking at all the tables. What an interesting morning this was turning out to be, thought Ena, seems the birds chirps near the fountain this morning had been more than just a song, maybe it had been an announcement she missed.

As the horses moved slowly past the tables the quiet awe and respect shown to the Beys could be felt in the stares of the people. Ena continued to look down, a habit she had always had when encountering new people. First, one horse passed and then the second and third. As the fourth horse neared it slowed. “Wait”, the rider commanded those ahead of him. The horses stopped and those ahead turned back. “Ena looked up and directly met the eyes of the young Bey. “What are these on your table?”, he asked. “They are simple tapestries, sir, made small so as to take up little space,” she replied and quickly turned to look at her mother. Lena nodded giving Ena confidence. “Tell me about this one”, he said strongly, more of a command than a request. “The one with the bird”. His father turned and looked at him with a small smile and gave a nod, reminding the young commander to add “please” at the end, softening his tone. At this, the group of riders dismounted and came close to the table. The table contained small tapestries that were rectangular, each measuring 13 x 18 cm. The silk strands glistened in the light, reds, pinks, browns, sables, orange and green appeared to have taken the color from nature herself. There were also gold threads woven inside that gave a brilliance that called for attention. Small and yet meaningful the miniature tapestries called for attention for their fine craftsmanship. Of the twenty pieces on the table, only one had a bird. The other animals were dogs, turtles, rabbits, and also a fox, grasshopper, and ant. The piece with the bird stood out for its uniqueness. It was decorated and shimmered as it caught the light. It was as if the bird would begin talking if no one answered. Looking at Ena, the men waited for her response.

Where to start, Ena’s mind raced as she searched for words. Who was she to teach such important people? As she took a breath her mind settled and the words arrived. Ena knew she was a messenger of sorts and the words came naturally when she was in her element. “ Each of the tapestries tells a story, sir, through its colors and images” she began. “The tapestry you have chosen is made of blue and green silks with gold weaved inside. The teal color that forms represents open communication and clarity of thought. The gold represents the light that illuminates the lesson which the story presents,” Ena paused and looked up. “Continue….please,” said the young Bey, his face full of interest. Ena scanned the faces of the men and continued, “ The bird on the forked branch is a Swallow. The fork in the branch reminds her of the road less traveled on which she rests. Her friends are no longer next to her and in some ways, she feels sorry for them. She had tried to teach them to eat the flax seeds that a farmer was planting but they didn’t listen. The flax, if allowed to grow, would be turned into nets and used to trap the bird and her friends. The other birds called her exaggerated and over-thinking, even a bit crazy in their opinion. They preferred other seeds they saw and left the flax seeds to grow. The seeds soon sprouted and nets were made. The swallow felt sad that her friends hadn’t listened because she was not crazy. She had actually learned by watching her elders.” With this thought Ena’s face became sad and the emotion could be clearly seen. Shaking the thoughts she continued, “The swallow pictured here in the tapestry is perched on the branch where from afar she watched the other birds become trapped. She is safe and though she is hopeful for the other birds, she understands her place is to travel in a different direction, where she will join more of her kind.” As she finished the story she looked up into the mesmerized faces of the men. Reacting, the young man asked in earnest, “Is she lonely?” “No”, Ena responded with a confident voice, “she knows there are times she will travel alone and is prepared for it, she carries her memories with her for company until she is reunited with her group.” Behind her, the young Bey’s father looked past Ena to her mother. He acknowledged with respect Ena’s ability to describe the piece and at the same time, acknowledged Lena’s wisdom in the choice of stories that were woven into the tapestries. A pause of silence ensued as the young men stared at the tapestry, amazed. The silence was broken by the youngest, “All that from the picture of the bird on the stick above the ground?” asked the boy. Everyone chuckled as he questioned “It just seems a bit much to me! Did you make the story up?”, again questioning. Before Ena could answer his father spoke in a deep teaching voice. “No, she did not make this up, this is a story from Aesopica. As I recall being told, the bird had six other friends and as a group, they were seven, The swallow broke from the friends when they would not listen to the teaching. You already know many of the stories from your teacher but you may not know this one. The lesson here is that by eating the seeds of flax, the nets used to catch the bird’s friends would not have been made. The bird was, in fact, trying to prevent their capture but was not able to make them understand. By taking a lead and moving forward the bird shows a path that they can follow. A leader’s job is not an easy one.” All the sons looked at their father and understood his message. “Leadership comes in many forms,” he finished with a nod to Ena and her mother, and with his hand motioned to all the merchants and their wares. The youngest then asked in a child’s curious tone, “Was the bird a male of a female?” “That, my youngest son, is in the eye of the beholder”, smiled father as he patted the young head.

“I think it is a beautiful piece and I would like to take it home to my sister. Should we buy it now or will we circle back?” asked the young Bey, "It's the only one with the bird”, he observed as he scanned the table. “You should ask to buy it now, it may not be here when we return.” replied the father. “How much for the piece?” he asked. Before Ena could respond he reached into his jacket. Opening his hand there were four beads, two were a brilliant blue and two a burnt orange like the glow of a fire. Ena just stared at the stones mesmerized by their color. To the beads in his hand, his father added two silver coins. The older brothers added small swatches of silk that were yellow, blue, and green. Ena looked quickly to her mother for some sort of response. “What a generous offering” smiled Lena. “Thank you very much”. He put the beads, silk, and silver in Ena’s hand and she turned and gave it to her mother. Ena took the tapestry and wrapped it in paper and secured it with the red ribbon they used for wrapping. She was going to miss the bird, it was one of her favorite pieces but she was careful not to let her emotions show on her face. Handing the package to the young man she smiled. He asked “Will you make another tapestry just like it?” “I’ll ask my mother”, she said quietly, “I work for under her permission and must do as she says while I learn”. “It seems that we have much in common even though we are from different places!” he whispered loudly, and they both smiled. “Perhaps we will be able to return on our way back?” he asked as he looked at his father. “There are infinite possibilities my son”, was the reply as the men remounted their horses. “ With permission from my mother I will incorporate some of your gifts into the next miniature I make with a bird,” Ena blurted, surprising herself. “I will imagine it and hope that I will have the opportunity to see it if we circle back on our way home.” Their eyes locked for just long enough to etch each other’s face in their memories. “With your bird, I will have company and soon she will bring company to my sister too”. As the horses began to move West down the road the sound of music could be heard from the stalls farther down. The notes of an ocarina made it sound as if the little bird had come to life. The younger Beys turned to look back in their saddles and the youngest waved. Ena waved and all three smiled. The happy notes held in the air as the horses turned down the hill. For a moment time stood still again, the peaceful space that Ena loved.

Lena turned to Ena and held out the beads, silk, and silver so that she could see it again. “I’ve never seen anything like this before, mother, how did you know to take it?” she asked. “When I was young and working with your grandmother a traveling group came to the temple, they left the same kind of beads and silk and silver as an offering in the hands of the priest. I could never forget the color of the Lapis Lazuli and the Carnelian beads. The sheen and supple silk feel as if the colors have come alive.” Her face smiled and her eyes were distant. The memory brought the look of a child to her face, one Ena hadn’t ever seen before. Returning to the moment, Lena gave the things to her daughter and closed her hand over Ena’s. “Take these to your grandmother, she will know where to keep them safe in her house.” With that Lena opened the leather trunk and took out another miniature tapestry to place in the empty spot on the table, the lamb on this piece promised another story.

Ena watched the birds overhead as she hurried to Grandmother Patena’s house. It wasn’t far, just past the fountain and down the street. She knocked as she entered and called her name. “Grandmother, look at what I have! Mother sent me to give it to you for safekeeping!” Grandmother appeared in the kitchen and sat at the table. She smiled as she saw the beads and fabric, warm memories of a time long ago. “It seems you have had quite a busy morning Ena.” “Yes! It began with the transformation ceremony practice and now I’m here with you! I’ll get us some water, I’m very thirsty all of a sudden”. “And what were you thinking during your practice this morning?” asked grandmother. “I was thinking how little I have in common with everyone and I was feeling a bit alone”, replied Ena. “And now?’ prompted grandma, “Do you see a connection now?” “It's as if there are two circles that connect, there is one circle with you and mother and I thought we were so different and yet we can have the same feelings. Another circle seemed to present itself when the young Bey said that he also works under his father. His father even knew the story of the bird on the tapestry! I have nothing in common with such people, we couldn’t be farther apart, and yet there was a commonality.”, Ena had a puzzled look on her face as she looked across the table at her grandmother. “It's not as confusing as it seems my little Ena,” began grandmother. “If you take these two glasses and put them side by side you have two circles that are connected. Each circle appears independent of the other and can be. At the same time they can share their positions.” “In some ways, it reminds me of the birds I saw at the fountain this morning”, remembered Ena. “They were flying in the sky and dipping down then crossing paths as the flew high again, like a figure eight”. “Yes” smiled grandma, “Like a figure eight, and when we lay the same figure on its side, as we have done here with the glasses we create the sign of infinity.” Ena looked at the two glasses side by side, the two circles touching and traced the infinity sign with her finger. It seems that even though things seemed so independent they really were connected. As her finger traced the edge of the glass it began to sing a sweet note. She looked up smiling at grandmother and felt the warmth she had felt in the temple in the morning when she looked at the sacred fire. The same warmth as she had felt on her face from the sun. The same but different, yet connected. A place where heaven seemed to meet the earth. “ It's time for you to head back and help your mother, Tuesday’s are busy days at the market”. “Yes, I’m going now”, Ena stood and gave grandmother a strong hug. It all seemed to make more sense now. Grandmother Patena took the beads, silk, and silver to a box on the kitchen shelf. Inside the box were two similar sets and the new set made three. She remembered the time she was working with her mother when a strange group of men had needed help. They had given the same gift to her. Such a long time ago and yet it seemed like yesterday. Special moments always seem to freeze in time. She lit a candle that she kept near the box and smiled as the light grew stronger. The memory and the flame brought a heartfelt warmth. The beauty of infinity she thought to herself is that it is ever repeating. Returning to the kitchen she could see birds from the window and hear the sounds of the market. At the center of the infinity sign should be a heart, she said out loud to herself.