Parents of a Lifetime

Thankfulness in life in general is a learned skill. The person who can be thankful in the midst of difficulties is a blessed person. In general, I believe we learn thankfulness best when we watch others model it, strive for it, revel in it. My parents embodied thankfulness this year, in many special ways. Through this challenging year they have reminded me again of the need for thankfulness in my life. The thankful thoughts I have for 2020 are all related to my special parents.

#1 I am thankful for my parents:

Roland (82) and Brenda (77) spent most of their lives teaching other people's children and young adults. My father taught in our local community college, and in his years before retirement he most enjoyed his work with the young adults who took remdial math classes. My mother taught for over 30 years in a local private school, challenging high achievers to excel while maintaining a bully-free zone long before this was a popular thing.

When I did a special ceremony for their 50th wedding anniversary, I reached out to former students who expressed such thankfulness for the manner in which my parents taught them, mentored them. Imagine, if you will, how special our upbringing was, it was idyllic. Was it perfect? No. Was it without hardships? Most certainly not. But we were loved with a ferocity that inspired my parents to work hard, to keep our home a safe place for us in every way.

They taught my brother, sister, and me to pray, work, and never give up. But as I look over the sum of what they taught me through my life, thankfulness is near the top of everything. They focused on thankfulness even when they lost their home in a tornado, along with all their worldly goods. They focused on thankfulness through sleepless nights helping us through learning disabilities, social delays, and emotional disturbance. We learned thankfulness by watching them.

#2 I am thankful for the way my parents love my children:

In 1987 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, whom I placed for adoption with a loving family. My mother loved that child and pined for her for years. They both missed out on her raising, but I was able to reunite our family with Veronica in 2008 and my mother makes sure to be present in her life regularly. It is a beautiful thing!

In 1990 my lovely daughter Chelsea was born. I had to come live at home when I was pregnant with her (another time, another story) and my parents helped me raise her for most of her life! This was an exercise in thankfulness. Thankful they were able to hold her, hear her, see her, be with her. They celebrated her. It was difficult, oh my was it hard! They loved selflessly with all they had.

#3 I am thankful for the siblings my parents raised:

Brothers and sisters may seem annoying when we are young, I will admit that as the oldest of the three I frequently failed to see their value. As adults, however, they are superlative human beings I feel thankful to know. Thankful that we love deeply. Thankful we have all survived our various health challenges this year as we all have so far prevailed against the pandemic!

#4 I am thankful for the help from my parents with their great grandchildren:

My husband and I have custody of three of our grandchildren. When schools closed in March, they stepped in to work with the kids and watch them every day while we went to work. My parents, as previously mentioned, are elderly. They taught the children in the day, and we cared for them at night and worked. We all stayed home most of the time, but both my husband and I were classified as essential workers and had to go to work. Fortunately for each of us, we were able to do our jobs in ways that we did not regularly come into contact physically with others, so the risk of Covid-19 was fairly low.

I can see their exhaustion as lately we had to quarantine two grandchildren with my parents as the remainder of our crew had direct contact with someone with Covid-19 and one of us had it. I am so thankful for the resilience and determination, and health of my parents as they have assisted us while putting their very lives at risk.

#5 I am thankful I have a partner in life that appreciates and loves my parents the way they deserve. That he loves and appreciates me. While life is never perfect, and neither are either one of us, my underlying thread in life, as instilled in me by my parents is thankfulness.

Perspective causes thankfulness.

Not everyone lives under a roof – I do.

I am thankful for my home.

Not everyone has a bed to sleep on - I do.

I am thankful for my bed.

Not everyone has a full belly when they go to sleep – I do.

I am thankful for sufficient food.

I have family – Not everyone does.

I am thankful for family.

I have love – Not everyone does.

I am thankful for love.

I have hope – Not everyone does. Be thankful, as I am, if you do!