Parents Don’t Get Paid — It Is the Biggest Job in the World

I said it to him: “I didn’t get my period last month. I think I am pregnant.” We did the dishes together when I spoke those words. We were a little bit silent. We didn’t know what to say to each other. “I keep the baby,” I said to break the silence. “I want the baby to know his or her father,” I continued.

I wore my red shirt on my blue jeans. I sat there, on a green chair in front of the TV. After doing the dishes we realized ‘we will be parents soon’. We looked at each other and thought about our future. Within nine months, our child will be born. What should we do? We both decided to go for it.

Becoming a parent is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was nineteen years old when my oldest daughter was born. It was love at first sight. I felt deeply emotional; becoming a parent made me cry when I held her for the first time.

The moment I knew I would become a mother, it became a serious business. Yes, a business like a 9–5 job in a corporate business. Only you are working twenty-four hours, seven days a week. No break, no moment for yourself, and your child depends on your knowledge. Think about buying the baby supplies you need, the name(s) of your baby, your child's last name, what values you want to up bring your child and so many more things. You have to think about it within nine months, the length of your pregnancy, and less time left every day.

My oldest daughter got two sisters. Each pregnancy was different, but they were all very special moments. Each child is different and has different needs from the others. Each child loves something that another child doesn’t like. You have to look to each child to discover what they need and what they like.

I remember the moment I told her that she will be a big sister. She immediately felt my belly. She lit up and wanted to listen to the baby. At that stage of my second pregnancy, you can’t hear it or you can’t feel the baby kicking, but this was an experience for her.

I learned how to hold my baby, clean a diaper, bathe my child, and so many more things that I need to know. Also, my life suddenly changed the moment I gave birth.

When I was a little child, I thought parenting would be an easy job to do. Saying no to your children all the time when they weren’t allowed something, and saying yes when they were allowed something.

After all, it is not true. I learned about that when I became a teenager. I learned that my parents had to organize my birthday parties. Who is invited to the party? Which movies could they watch? What are the best games to play because of the age of the children? I learned that my parents had to think about which parent brings me to ballet lessons, whom my mother could ask to pick me up to go to my orchestra rehearsal.

As a teenager, in high school, I have been bullied a lot. I told my parents about it. They didn’t do much about it, but I think they didn’t know how to handle this issue. This was something they probably worried about, but they tried not letting me know.

I love being a parent. It is challenging now and then, but it is a lot of fun too. I realized that parenting is a business itself. A business that is not paid in money, but it is paid in the valuable moments with my children.

We have to realize that it is the biggest job in the world you will never get paid for. A job like the big corporate world. A corporate business is the same as being a parent: they are both a twenty-four hour, seven days a week company. Both handle complex issues.

You have to arrange all the activities for your children: parties, appointments, problems with their friends, and so many other things. I think about logistic issues we face when I have three different daughters having separate appointments on the same date and time.

At the same time, you have to think about the emotions that come with parenting. Am I doing it well? What do other parents think of my parenting style? Am I doing right by giving my children screen-time? Are my children happy? The same is true for the corporate world: Is this the best strategy for this product I am now landing?

This story has been published earlier on Medium:

About the writer

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. You can find her on Vocal, Medium, Elephant Journal, HubPages, Music List. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram. You can subscribe to my mailing list, and you can subscribe to my Thoughts. Check out her books. She has an online web store, and she has a merchandise store. If you want to be informed about my online store and my merch, please follow this link.