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No matter how angry you are, you have to swallow these words

The "killing power" for children is very high

By Baru KuPublished about a year ago 4 min read
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Domestic violence includes not only physical violence but also verbal violence, which is something that many people overlook. Sometimes verbal violence causes more damage than physical violence and is more difficult to repair.

In contrast, the status of the child and the parents is not equal, the parents inflict verbal violence on him, and he mostly only suffers in silence, and the damage brought to the child can be imagined.

A cousin, as an adult, and parents very distant relationship, after graduating from college, and even the Spring Festival do not go home, now has three years. He is not like some people who like to avoid marriage to not go home, but simply do not want to see their parents. This "unfilial" behavior, which uninformed people may not understand, but familiar with the situation of his family relatives, and friends, is very understandable, and not many people say he is not.

Because the cousin's parents are the kind of hot-tempered people, the couple often quarrels and quarrel, not to mention, at every turn, the gas on the head of the child. In the eyes of everyone, cousin never had a day of peace when he was a child, today scolded by his mother, tomorrow scolded by his father, and all kinds of angry words and harsh words are added to the young child, as parents, but they do not feel the least bit wrong, let alone repent.

In this way, my cousin grew up with a strong fear of his parents, and as he grew older, this fear gradually turned into rebellion, as early as high school, he had a big fight with his parents and even threatened to break off the parent-child relationship. After college, he rarely interacted with his parents, and would only come back for the Chinese New Year. After graduating from college and becoming self-supporting, there is almost no contact anymore, unless parents take the initiative to call.

Parents are the closest people in the world to children, but cousins and their parents are in this situation today, it has to be said is sad. However, behind the tragedy, who should be responsible for it? It is certainly unfair to blame the child for being unfilial because the child is born a blank sheet of paper, the parents are the painters, of what the child grows into, and parental discipline has the greatest relationship.

These harsh words angry words do not easily say to the child or kill a huge force

This is one of the most popular phrases parents like to say when they count their children, the intention is simple, they hope to motivate their children by taking the excellent children of others, of course, this may also be simply derogatory meaning, there is a feeling of hate.

However, the parents have not thought about how the children will feel when they hear such words. You know, parents are the most trusted people in the child, if even parents are looking down on themselves, are so demeaning, and even hate themselves, then the world for him, there is nothing to trust and rely on. So such words on the child's lethality can be imagined, long-term bathed in this kind of verbal violence, the child's mental health is also very worrying.

When dad/mom comes back, see how he cleaned you up. These are also the usual harsh words of many parents, they see that they can not control the situation, and they use to blame the other half, and the other party is most often the child's eyes of the strict master, a strong deterrent to children. But on the other hand, the child will also lose confidence in both parents, and even think that both parents no longer love him, thus triggering a serious and adverse psychological reaction, which is very detrimental to his character development.

The more you cry, the more I hit. When parents have a dispute with their child and the child is crying loudly, some parents will come up with such words to threaten, or even do it. The parents' intention is clear: they want to use violence to make the child obey, but for the child, this is like receiving double violence, both verbal and physical violence, and the psychological defense is easily broken.

So the most common result is that the child would rather die than obey, resulting in parents being increasingly emotional, once too heavy-handed, it will breed serious consequences, the child is likely to be injured, or disabled. And more serious, is a completely torn parent-child relationship, and it is likely to be a lifetime and can not be repaired.

Understandably, parents hate to iron, but it is not a good or even the worst way to say harsh words to your child at every turn. Because it is difficult to play a meaningful motivational role for the child but may stimulate the child's rebellious spirit, making the situation more difficult to manage.

Not only that, children who are often spoken to harshly by their parents will have their psychological development seriously disturbed, and the parent-child relationship will be lost. Once the child grows up, it is difficult to have sympathy and gratitude for parents, and even think that parents are a scourge, and in the parents, the saddest thing in the world, I'm afraid it is more than that.

advicechildrenparents
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About the Creator

Baru Ku

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

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