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Nights After The Baby

My body just started healing and my emotions were all over the place.

By Ravi VajaPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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M and I just got V home. He was 10 days old and took up every moment of our lives. All that the tiny baby ever did was feed, sleep, poop, and repeat. But he was a handful. He needed feeding round the clock; my sleep cycle was thrown out of the window.

There was crying all the time. Our minds never got rest from the constant attention; our tiny one was seeking from us. He got all possessive and didn’t stay a foot away from me during the feeds or not. Both M and I wondered what we have done to ourselves. Suddenly there was this huge barrier between us. Our love for each other was suddenly divided and a huge portion taken up by a tiny bundle of joy who was all of just 10 days old.

We could not speak to each other over the noise the baby brought home. Our brains constantly looked out for a window to sleep and rest. The feeds, the diaper change, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry exhausted us. We felt disconnected and distracted from one and another.

My body just started healing and my emotions were all over the place.

They say the newborn phase is blissful. It was. But it was equally challenging for both of us. It put our relationship with each other on the back burner. The rising pandemic didn’t help us in any way. Even small support from a friend or a family member was not a possibility. We had to do this and we need to work as a team. It was very important for us to build back on your falling relationship before it went too far.

There was constant yelling, screaming, and blame games. We were so tired all the time. It was time to start supporting each other in parenthood and quarantine. Furthermore, a healthy relationship wants mandatory for us and the sake of V, our newborn. We consciously carved out time for each other in the new baby routine.

We started taking advantage of the time after V went to sleep at night. However, he used to wake up once every few hours, and hence we used the time during the day as well.

Date #1

M suggested we watch a movie together. I just put V to sleep and we flipped through Disney+, Amazon Prime, and Netflix. Since my emotions we all over the place, we decided on a comedy flick and nothing intense. The television volume was really low and we didn’t want to wake V up at any cost unnecessarily. We made a bowl of popcorns, got a warm blanket, and snuggled up on the couch.

It was the first time we didn’t think about V or yell at each other for two hours. Honestly, it was the first time we had a good laugh in 3 months since the baby got home. It was a beautiful night. V woke up in two hours and went back to nursing him. It was the best break I got and I loved every bit of it. The first date night after the baby was just perfect. M and I realized that it is not always about the roses and fine dining.

Date #15

Things change a lot in your relationship after a third person enters. Even though it is your flesh and blood, the baby disrupts the balance in the relationship easily. We had to sort the chores, feed the baby, and clean the entire home by ourselves. It is never easy for first-time parents to breathe and throw a pandemic into the scenario. It was so difficult. You just need to catch moments in between to keep it alive and kicking. It doesn’t matter if the laundry is late by a day or if the sink is full after a meal. We had to let go of unnecessary battles and focus on rekindling our happiness. Baby is not happy with perfect parents. It is happy with happy and content parents.

One night we ordered fancy food, set out the best china dishes. I laid out the table while M opened a bottle of Merlot. We brought in fine dining to our dining table while the baby slept calmly in the adjacent room. The candlelight dinner, the soft and sensual texture of the wine made me forget about the dishes or the unfolded baby laundry. It was the first romantic date night in 6 months. M took my hand and we swayed to the tunes of Truly Madly Deeply. We kissed softly and I melted into his arms, while V chose to wake up. M put me down on the couch and told me to have a good night’s sleep. He took over V for the night and I don’t remember loving M so much before that.

I slept like a baby happily, my heart full of love and content.

The upcoming days weren’t easy but I knew I could do it well with M on my side.

Date nights with a baby are not similar to the previous times. Your body goes through a lot, your emotions are misplaced. While there are a lot of joys in parenthood, it can be a very lonely place for a first-time mother. M helped me get over the postpartum blues with his little gestures. A kiss on the forehead, letting me sleep a little longer than necessary, making a statement that we are a team in this together made me feel better. It was never so romantic before. Life can never go back to pre-baby times, but we managed to keep our love alive. The shortest date nights sometimes felt so much better and privileged than our old ones.

Finding little pockets of time to intentionally spend with each other kept us sane and happy. Nonetheless, we fought and loved together in the new journey of parenthood and pandemic.

pregnancy
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About the Creator

Ravi Vaja

I am Digital Marketing Junkie, I breathe Digital Marketing Innovation, SEO, Social Media Marketing and Build #DigitalMarketing experiences with ❤ for great #brands.

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